I'm old enough to remember the days of ICQ, and hearing that that excited 'oh-oh' message alert sound when I would get a text from my pen pal in Australia. We talked about the Backstreet Boys, and developed what I consider a strong friendship. We exchanged gifts, talked about our dreams, wishes and aspirations, and though we have never met, we've probably shared more than some people. Then along came MSN Messenger. It dominated the world, and offered featured ICQ did not. I spent so much time on that thing, just catching up with people, now it seems, those days are gone. Facebook, Skype and Twitter seem to reign supreme. Recently I culled the number of people on my Facebook to 80. I remember a day when it was over 200 (and even then I was being selective of who I added, refusing to add people from highschool, though it seemed to be the 'cool' thing to do) and after years of hovering above 100, I started to realize I didn't talk to half of these people. Old coworkers, random people that meet you at a party, that flaky boy who flirts with you, and then never follows up. Now, at 80, I feel like I can delete at least half of these people. I recently discovered Twitter. I have 1 Follower, and I have no idea who she is, or why she followed me... I consider myself an upbeat, social, friendly person, but when I spend any amount of time 'online', updating my status or trying to connect with someone that I simply can't pick up the phone and call, or see in person, I feel silly, and become quickly detached and jaded. I seem to go through cycles, where I take long breaks from 'social networking sites', because I see them as meaningless distractions (though I seem to come around here often) and yet, you always here of these amazing connections people make online, and well there was a time when I felt I had a few, but now they've fallen to the wayside, and what's the point of investing more time into digital interactions? Its been so long since I felt that... nowadays digital social tools just annoy the crap out of me. The only invitation I've received for Skype is 'jerk off' invites from guys looking for a quick release. I've yet to entertain any of those offers, because they seem shallow, fruitless and meaningless. While I will not deny occasionally watching guys on cam who broadcast to the world, the conversations in the live chats quickly kill my mood of any heated voyeuristic fantasies I'm experiencing at my computer , and the spamming for 'skype calls' has only soured my taste for what could be a useful video program. Seeing people toss out the word 'friend' followed up by an email address with an invitation to watch them insert a dildo, just turns me off of people altogether. I guess, as far as tools go, ####### fags and the ilk of online gays are sex obsessed and one dimensional. No surprise there right? " Oh look, I have 54 guys who I wave my dick around for, and they call me their friend". I think people online have a misconception as to the definition of 'friend'. Or maybe my perception is skewed. And then there is that site that shares its name from a popularized dare game that involves a revolver and 1 bullet... after spending a few hours there... I wanted to put a bullet to my head. Trash. Ugly, angry, trashy people. This is kind of a pointless rant, as being posted in an online message board, by its very nature, its pointless. I may have even posted something like this before... I simply cannot remember... Does anyone else feel this way?
I completely feel this way! I use to have a Facebook and Twitter Account, and I was a mad and crazy, social networking addict on both of those websites! Now, I have completely removed my Accounts on Facebook and Twitter, and I feel so much better! Twitter was a social networking website that I loved the most. When I was desperately wanting to come out as gay last year, Twitter helped me connect with a lot of gay guys, who made me feel comfortable to talk with about practically anything. It was on Twitter, that I actually met a guy, who became my boyfriend, and whom I enjoyed a one year relationship with, that sadly ended a little over a month ago. Anyway; Twitter and Facebook are great social networking sites, and it is possible to form good friendships with people on these websites. However; you can't ignore the dangers, and the negative effects from prolonged amounts of time spent on Facebook, Twitter, MSN, AIM, Yahoo, etc. It made me a little depressed, and kind of exasperated my loneliness, because the reality would always hit me, that I didn't have these online friends to actually and properly hang out with. And the worst reality that you have to acknowledge at some stage, is the fact that so many people lie about who they are, and they lie about their true intentions. Don't at all feel silly for interacting with people online. I use to feel silly for interacting with people on social networking websites....but, as I said above, you can make and form some really terrific friends and connections with people. Like everything in life; the key is to be fully aware of the benefits and disadvantages, the pros and the cons, and to be as prepared and as fully knowledgeable as you possibly can! Because, that will always protect and safeguard you in more ways than one, and it will help eliminate being unduly let down, because you won't have set any expectations on things. ---------- Post added 5th Nov 2012 at 09:32 PM ---------- Everything else you mentioned in your thread also...I completely agree with, and feel very much the same on. Sex obsession seems to be ingrained into a big majority of gay guys brains; thereby making it so frustrating and difficult, to form emotional, intimate, meaningful, and monogamous relationships.
Yup it's totally true!! The more we have used technology and social networking sites and the internet, the less social we've become! It's so much easier to text somebody these days then to pick up the phone and call them. I watched a documentary a while back about this and they talked about how people are spending less time face to face with people. When you go out with someone to dinner or go out for a coffee, you probably already know what's going on in their life if you read and comment on their facebook statuses so there's not as much to talk about when you see them face to face. Or you talk to a friend who has gone to Hawaii for a week through email or Facebook. Well when they get back there isn't a whole lot to talk about since you've already exchanged emails and pictures. Anyway, I find people are always trying to find the quick fixes for everything trying to gain more time with people they love when in reality it actually takes up more time than we think.
Thanks for posting. I've always been aware of the dark side of the Internet, but I guess its a lesson one has to relearn over time, as new connections with people often wind up going nowhere. Its been a while since I've gotten excited to communicate with someone online, in a personal manner. My MSN Messenger contacts have all but dried up. No one uses it anymore. I will say that my mood in general, has been up and down lately. I'm sure its due to a change in season, a change in job, and a recent shift in friends (I dumped some people that were big parts of my life, because well, the friendships ran their course) and so I find myself with a lot of time to spend online. Coming here to vent is comforting. Looking back on some of the posts I've made, I actually find myself regretful at times, if my messages to other ECers, and members of other boards I visit come off as heavy handed, mean spirited or cold. Its not in my nature, but for a long time I've been weening myself away from the Internet in an attempt to get 'real connections' with people. I envy people who make positive contributions to online communities, and wish that I could do the same, however I'm always at odds with myself as to why. I love sharing ideas, media and connecting with others, yet I find it is always temporary, and superficial when its over the web. Then I feel like a grumpy old man some days. If I'm out with friends, to a dinner or at a party, and the younger ones in my group are talking about some dumb video they saw on the Internet, which they want to share (most of the time I find them unfunny) I dismiss them. If people are looking at their phones, and not engaging in the conversations in the room, it annoys me. When I'm in a room with people, I want total Internet disconnection, and it seems that it follows me everywhere. I try to understand that maybe its important to them, but I'd rather hear anything mundane that happened in your day, than your latest meme update. I equate it with the flakey, self serving, meaningless people I've spoken to over the years, and have come to resent, or simply forget. If the Internet were to completely crash tomorrow, if it were to honestly cease to exist, and we had to go back to writing letters, phone calls, buying CDS, renting movies, and actually going to the bank, I wouldn't blink an eye. I'd probably celebrate by inviting my closest friends over for good food, and set my laptop on fire.
