So yesterday, my friend was telling me about her new girlfriend. Unfortunately for her, she tends to have the most unhealthy relationships I've ever seen. And after her telling me about her new girlfriend, I realized that I don't think I've ever seen a positive gay relationship before. Most of the gay couples I've ever known have cheated on each other or broken up plenty of times do to jealousy issues(not that this doesn't happen with straight couples too) But I see so many more positive straight relationships and not a single positive gay relationship that it sometimes makes me feel worried that it will be impossible to find. Yeah, i guess you could say there are some gay celebrities in long lasting relationships (Thinking NPH and his guy) but I can't relate to any celebrities or even fictional shows, since they seem kind of alien to me. And I feel like I've seen even fewer lesbian couples in good relationships. It's kinda worrisome sometimes. Maybe I need to meet more gay people, I guess. Anyone feel like this too?
I can relate to the part in not seeing very many gay couples. Maybe I don't pay attention but I only peronally kind of know three lesbian couples. All the relationships seem to be quite positive, two of the couples are married and have been for a while. And they all seem to be really happy. I have had worries sometimes because of the way gay couples are portrayed in the media, and maybe with not knowing a lot of gay couples or not knowing a lot of gay people I sometimes worry I may never find the right person. So, yes I can relate to some of what you said, I just try not to think about my future too much, or else it drives me crazy(er).
I know one married lesbian couple. (my ex friend's sister and sister-in-law) They've had their share of dysfunction in the past, but they seem really happy now. I don't really know any other members of the LGBT community in person so I can't really base the entire community on that one couple lol *sigh* I'm gonna become a nun and live a life of lonely celibacy. :dry:
I'm in the opposite position; I haven't been exposed to any negative gay couples. I know many gay couples, most of them lesbians, and they have really strong, lasting relationships. Let this give you hope; it is definitely possible.
Its tricky. A lot of LGBT people have a lot of baggage due to being in the closet and self-hating for so long so its very hard for some people to have healthy relationships without working on their own problems first. Like you said, its something that also affects straight people, but its a bit more obvious with LGBT people. A healthy relationship is definitely possible, though. Just because you are queer doesn't mean you are bound to have horrible relationships. If you look close enough, there are ton of examples. You just have to look for them a bit. I hate talking too much about my relationship, but I'm personally in a great place right now. Best relationship I have ever had and I have no complains so far. Granted it has only been a year, but so far its good lol
I've been with my gf for 5 years now but I don't know any other people that are in a long lasting same sex relationships in real life. As for celebrities you have: Neil Patrick Harris and David Burtka Ellen and Portia DeRossi Matt Bomer and Simon Halls Jim Parsons and Todd Spiewak (I think) Jesse Tyler Ferguson and Justin Mikita Anderson Cooper and Benjamin Maisani Sean Maher and Paul (I forget his last name) Anthony Callea and Tim Campbell Cynthia Nixon and Christine Marinoni Elton John and David Furnish Darren Hayes and Richard Cullen George Takei and Brad Altman Ryan Murphy and David Miller Jane Lynch and Lara Embry Chely Wright and Lauren Blitzer Michael Kors and Lance LePere Zachary Quinto and Johnathon Groff Cat and Jennifer Cora Wanda and Alex Sykes I'm pretty sure all of those relationships have been confirmed. As for them being positive, I considered them positive if they were still together and didn't remind me of Britney Spears and Kevin Federline. I may be wrong on a few of them but I think this list is correct
We'll start our own little EC convent. :lol: Anyways, thanks for the replies everyone. I know they're out there but when you don't see them in your own personal reality, it can be kind of discouraging. Gus- I guess I'll just have to add you and your boyfriend on my list of people I know with healthy relationships:icon_wink But what you said makes a lot more sense. I guess I just need to get myself more involved in the lgbt community it seems and I'll notice them more.
There's also Rosie o donnel and her fiancé Michelle and Sarah Gilbert and her girlfriend Ali , neat fact about them she gave birth to their daughter and Ali gave birth to their son.
Haha, same here. To the OP: Yeah, I feel the same. I don't even know anybody that's queer offline and it's quite frustrating.
I'm also on the side who has seen many LGBT couples being functional, happy and lasting. One of them was my boss and her wife and kids; as far as I know they're still living happily together. I've met married guys who have been together for over 10 years too and still going strong. Last time I saw them they were working on adopting a kid. And well, there's me and my wife. We're not exactly a gay couple but we're both the T and the B in LGBT. We're so happy together that's astonishing, and are expecting our second kid for March.
i think its all a matter of perspective, like TheEdend said, people in the LGBT community can sometimes tend to have baggage but i think that the main problem lies in relationships in general these days, straight or same sex. Just seems like everywhere you look there is someone having an affair and someone getting divorced, relationships are based far too heavily on the physical side and when that falters the whole thing comes crashing down. Now this isnt to say that relationships are futile, as cliche as it is, you really just have to find the right person, someone who acccepts and loves the WHOLE you, your faults and short comings, the things that make you weird that you think you wont tell a soul, your preferences and your prejudices. Have to be able to ask yourself that if you knew that you would never be able to have sex that you could still be happy with them. Its out there, just too many people give up and jump onto the wrong wagon.
The only openly LGBT couple I've seen in my town was two young women who sat down in the coffeeshop across from me. They talked very loudly and crassly about their sex life and sensitive political topics. I mentally cringed thinking that it might be all some people around here know of when it comes to LGBT besides what they hear. One of the first lesbians I talked to was a woman on another forum who was in a committed relationship for eight years, though, and it was a nice first step. I think a lot of the less dramatic gay couples might be more under wraps unless you see them out to dinner together or at an event. Unless you're assuming two women together are potential lesbians, they probably just look like two people together unless they're holding hands or something. I sometimes wonder if the lack of LGBT role models for dating might add to the struggles of people once they're of dating age, but then I remember that role models for dating are terrible all around.
