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Being Attracted to One's Own Type?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Rakkaus, Nov 8, 2012.

  1. Rakkaus

    Rakkaus Guest

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    That thread on being attracted to big guys got me thinking...

    Do you think it is more normal for gay guys and lesbians and bisexuals to be attracted to people of similar 'type', e.g. femme lesbians preferring femme lesbians, or 'bears' preferring 'bears', or 'twinks' preferring 'twinks', etc.?

    Or is it more common for people to prefer other types than themselves?

    I know that in many cases, even if only on a subconscious level, individuals will try to make themselves look like what they find attractive in other people, yet it seems that many won't date people who are similar to them?

    Obviously the whole "opposites attract" rule is already broken considering we are talking about same-sex couples, so what do you all think? Do you find people attractive who are similar in look and type to you?
     
  2. Ventus

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    Re-post

    I'm a very slender guy (no body hair, twink, ect) and I'm only really attracted to guys of my own body type. The problem is that whenever I find an attractive looking guy online, I immediately learn that they're looking for someone big and masculine.

    The whole pre-conceived Dominate/submissive thing really works against my sexuality. I don't wish to feel 'protected' or act as a 'protector' , I just want to be on equal ground. :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:

    Sometimes I wish that humans were just one single ambiguous gender.
     
  3. Pret Allez

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    I'm mostly attracted to people slightly overweight like myself or a little bit thinner. I really don't like super thin, but I don't like fat either.

    I think it's pretty spot on that we try to make ourselves look like what we find attractive in other people. I'd love to make myself into a twink, but I just don't think that's possible. At the same time, I think that's maybe a blessing, because I think that if I could become a twink, then I just would, and therefore, I'd become less tolerant in my sexual tastes.

    As for gender presentations, I'm fine with either, but I have a slight preference for feminine men and women.

    What I'm working on right now is to find more people attractive, because I want to share myself with other people as they have been kind enough to do for me.
     
    #3 Pret Allez, Nov 8, 2012
    Last edited: Nov 8, 2012
  4. Rakkaus

    Rakkaus Guest

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    Heh, yeah I was responding to your post in that thread when I realized I've been wanting to discuss this topic more in-depth for a while.

    I've found myself in a similar position as you, as I find that the people I tend to find attractive, i.e., thin, youthful kinds of guys, seem to tend to be looking for older, bigger, more masculine "mature" men.
     
  5. julia

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    As for me, I wouldn't want a girl who looked like me but I would like her to be the same size/shape/weight as me and also a femme as well.
     
  6. Pret Allez

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    That must be rather disheartening. :frowning2:
     
  7. O_Negative

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    I've found as I discover the male side of me that I tend to model myself after what I personally find attractive. I try to do my hair that way and wear that kind of style...the female side already has a developed thing going but the male side is...newly discovered...so its a work in progress.
     
  8. vyvance

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    I'm attracted to guys with similar builds to myself. Super skinny or overweight just doesn't do it for me.
     
  9. Mogget

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    My ideal boyfriend, physically speaking, would have blond or red hair, blue or green eyes, be exactly my height, be thin, and have no facial hair. I have dark brown hair, dark eyes, I'm a bit overweight, I shave regularly, and I am--of course--exactly my height.

    Intellectually, however, I'm drawn to adorkable nerds with a strong passion for academics, science fiction and fantasy, and complex discussions about politics and philosophy.. In other words, people exactly like me.

    And I can much more easily go with someone who isn't my physical type than someone who isn't my intellectual type.
     
  10. Pret Allez

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    Have to second that. A good intellect and merciful disposition can save a mildly unattractive person, but a perfect body can't save an incurious, mean spirit.
     
  11. AAASAS

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    Body type I am usually physically attracted to only my own type. I basically never see other guys with a nice body so I don't even try to keep that a factor; most people just don't give a shit about having a nice body so I can't fault the majority on that.

    As for personality type, I am usually attracted to all kinds. For the most part I am attracted to people with a sense of humour like me, but other than that it doesn't matter, I don't mind differences, and really don't expect to find a lot of people with the same interests as me because I am a boring old grandpa when it comes to interests. Statscan here I come. I love reading statistics, and raw data, honestly, that is one of my favourite things to do. So I tend to do that on my own, and do fun stuff with other people.

    I think I would need someone that was laid back like me though, I can seem hyper at times, but I really don't care about a lot, and it takes A LOT to piss me off legit. I am a very opinionated person, but I don't mean harm by it, so I need someone that doesn't get offended at everything like me. I am sensitive where you need sensitivity, not just for the sake of it.

    Someone that can laugh at themselves liike me and take a beating, I don't want to be tip toeing around eggshells when talking to you.

    I also need someone that is human smart, that is socially smart, I don't care about overall intelligence, because to be honest, I don't find intelligent people to be friendly, or genuinely kind. They have an arrogance to them, that you can't find in a lot of mediocre minds. Not saying I am dumb, because I am pretty intelligent, I just don't like to flaunt it, or make people feel inferior because of it. I also find intelligent people can't get over themselves and have a similar sense of humour to me, I can laugh at the stupidest crap. I need someone like that. So when I say human smart, I mean like me, they are good with people, they understand other humans emotions and their mindsets, you don't need to be a genius to do this, but a lot of geniuses can't.

    I'll most likely end up with a moron version of myself, I am usually attracted to them the most anyways.
     
  12. redstormrising

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    my partner and i are very similar across non-physical characteristics, but quite different in appearance. i'm tiny, have long hair, and look very feminine. she's a couple inches taller but has a much bigger frame and broad shoulders more typical of a man, and very short hair - very masculine looking.
     
  13. Rainbow Panda

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    I with women am mostly attracted to red haired or brunettes (maybe because I am blond) build wise it doesn't really matter to me, personality wise I like bookworms as I am one myself :grin:
    With guys, I've only ever been attracted to one guy and that is my boyfriend because our personalities match :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:
     
  14. Black Cat

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    Well I'm extremely attracted to guys with darker features and deep brown hair, sturdily constructed builds, and around my height, so I suppose that does reinforce your theory. Physically though I am very lax with pinpointing what attracts me. And I've noticed that the more time I spend with someone, the more things I find physically attractive with them - regardless of initial or attraction.

    I've found guys that are my exact physical opposite quite attractive as well before, so it varies with me.

    I wholeheartedly agree. :thumbsup:
     
  15. King

    King Guest

    I personally am not attracted to my own type at all. I guess if I were to fit into any category it'd be 'twink' which I hate because it sounds disgusting, degrading etc. I'm not attracted to skinny guys at all, I like meat on the bones - whether a tad overweight, quite a bit overweight, a bit muscular... there's a perfect combination of muscle-fat that I can never find a picture of. I know a guy who is the PERFECT example of muscle-fat. He's a douche, though...
     
  16. FollowtheFreeman

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    I'm really picky about how my (hopeful) future boyfriend would look. And to an extent he would have the same body image as me I guess. He'd have to be toned, but not buff. Tall, but not too tall. Hairy, but not too hairy (except for his hair, I love shaggy hair). So I guess I am attracted to someone of my own body type.

    No dopelganger.
     
  17. myheartincheck

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    Hmmm Well I'm quite thin and prefer a thin girl, but I prefer a girl who has nicer curves than I do, so a girl with more meat on their bones than me. I prefer my women soft like pillows! :3
    I have naturally dirty blonde hair and I like all hair colors, but I especially love auburn or red hair. <3 I have blue/green eyes and I want a girl with electric blue, forest green, or steely grey eyes. That's my preference anyway, but I'm pretty open! There's nothing wrong with chocolate brown eyes! I'm all about eye gazing! :thumbsup: Generally, I like women who have a similar feminine face as me: big lips, small nose, big eyes... I love long hair and I have long hair. I want a girl shorter than me, but with long legs like mine.

    Personality wise, I love introverted girls! I'm pretty extroverted, and hate when I can't talk to my friends. I'm pretty spacey :icon_redf, but I simply adore a girl who can read for hours on end. I need a companion who I can have an intelligent conversation with. Also, I want a Christian girl like myself! :grin: I also love artistic ladies, and I'm pretty artistic myself. I think it'd be perfect if I found a girl who loved to read, because I want to become an authoress! :slight_smile: I also like girls who are more maternal than me. (I was the youngest for a long time so I don't know how to react around children really lol)

    So I guess for the most part I'm attracted to those like myself. :icon_bigg
     
  18. Aquilo

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    I tend to like guys who are a bit the same, both physically and intellectually. I tend to like guys with different hair colour and eyes though (I love dark hair and brown eyes) : )
     
  19. Linthras

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    :this: I know it sounds cheesy, but I am mostly looking for person that 'completes' me, that fits right with me. Preferably romantic, intelligent, open to being cared for but at the same time be able to care for me when I need emotional support.
    Physically speaking there's not much that bothers me beyond excessive weight or bone-skinny so to speak.
    AFAIK I have no preference whatsoever concerning skin, hair or eye colour, do I am attracted to people who's eyes 'live' as it's so poetically called. If you catch my drift.
    Edit. In fact I'm extremely attracted to people who just express joy for life, in their posture, eyes. I'm a sucker for positivity combined with confidence and intellectual curiosity. Damn I'm rambling aren't I?:icon_redf
     
    #19 Linthras, Nov 9, 2012
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  20. samizer0313

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    Really the person I would be attracted to would be like healthy skinny and sort of like me in interest but in looks? No.
    For guys on the skinnyness, they need to have either a little bit of abs or a little flab, really skinny guys doesn't work for me.
    Feminine/Masculine wise? I'm attracted to Feminine but I'm neutral unless it's a rare day that I'm feeling girly.
    That's for both genders, like I'm pretty much the same in them
     
    #20 samizer0313, Nov 9, 2012
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