changing yourself.

Well personally i did it a lot. i find that i just tend to just act differently around some people. while i never really had a problem doing it. i found that after i did it very few people actually knew the real me, and my life became one giant act to please other people. It made me personally very miserable and now i am forced to slowly transition my friends and other people into my real personality. I don't know if it is like this for everyone but that is my personal experience with changing yourself for others.

 

I think if you change yourself for the better, then it's good. If you go into promiscuous sex, drugs, drinking, and etc. for someone else, then it can pose a problem.

I have many parts to my personality; so I kinda mix it up depending on who I'm talking to, basically.

I guess as long as you know it's you, and someone loves you for YOU, then it's alright.

 

You can only be who your are. If people are not willing to accept you as the person that you are, then they are not people that you need to surround yourself with. Sure, there are positive changes you can make to yourself, like getting in shape or learning a new hobby or something, but changing the things that make you the individual that you are is not a positive thing. By trying to change yourself, you are only being self deceptive, and when you are not honest with yourself you cannot be honest with other people, and therefore you cannot build meaningful friendships and such.

 

i wouldnt change myself for other people i would change myself for me ....

 

hey hey,

In this i am an expert... I'm not sure if you SHOULD change yourself for other people but to be compleatly honest i did it... a hell of a lot... Granted<< he he he i look and feel a lot better and i do alot more... so i guess i did it to try to impress 1 person but i guess in the end i did it for myself....

Catch

 

I don't think it's a problem, as long as everytime you change yourself, it's still you, if that makes sense. For instance, While I like getting drunk with my guy friends, I enjoy watching Rocky Horror Picture Show with my girlfriends. In that instance, I'm not changing who I am, cos I enjoy doing both of those things, but am choosing to accentuate the areas of my personality that are similar to that group of friends.

When you totally change who you are for others, then that's a bad thing. Like in Year 8 I tried to be a popular kid, and that's just wasn't me, so I was miserable. Then I found my friends, who I was able to be myself around and it was awesomeness

 

Davo-Man gave a great example! I think that is perfectly okay but when you change things that could possibly be damaging to your psyche, then you are destined for trouble. For instance, one of my daughters best friends fell for a Jehovah Witness. She ended up going through all the stuff to be one so she could be with this guy. They are engaged now. She's given up celebrating Christmas and her birthday. Everybody around her sees this as a relationship that is bound to have problems.

And another thing, do not change your appearance to please another. Only do it for yourself.

 

I think it all depends on what you're changing. As long as you are happy with the changes and you are not just doing it to get someone to like you or tolerate you then I think it is fine.

There was a guy I liked and at the time I was a bit pudgy so in order to impress him I started exercising a little and I cut out some of the crap-foods from my diet. Nothing too drastic but the results were significant. He was also into computers and so was I. I ended up learning about certain areas of computing that I would not normally have researched on my own inclination. I made these changes to impress the guy and the newfound computer-knowledge I had learned would give me good conversation fodder. He is straight so these changes did not serve their purpose. Do I regret them? No. I feel better physically and I feel better about my appearance and I expanded my knowledge a little and I even enjoyed some of the new stuff I learned.

Being gay and in the closet on the other hand... Pretending to be straight so family and friends will accept me was not a very good thing for me (and I'm sure a lot of people). I dealt with it well enough but eventually it became very depressing and exhausting. I'm so much happier now that I'm out and so far everybody has treated me the same as I was before I came out.

 

I think it can be a very good thing, it just depends on what you're changing. For instance, if you tend to be a very reactionary person that snaps at people when you're angry, then that'd be something great to change, as it'd make your relationships better. However, it's acting like someone you're not (acting straight if you don't want to, pretending to have different interests that you really do) that could be damaging. But when it comes to changing yourself to make yourself a better person towards other people, then that's ALWAYS good.

 

Life is all about changing and growing as a person through your relationships with other people.