1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Glass Closets

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by castle walls, Nov 15, 2012.

  1. castle walls

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Sep 14, 2011
    Messages:
    798
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Western USA
    I was just wondering if anyone is in a glass closet, if they ever have been, or if they have any opinions on it.

    For those unaware with this term, a glass closet is when you don't admit you're gay but people have an idea. For example, (until recently) Anderson Cooper and Ricky Martin would have been considered in a glass closet.

    If anyone has any links to literature on the effects of being closeted, please share
     
  2. Ridiculous

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 8, 2010
    Messages:
    3,583
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    New Zealand
    I am glass closeted to one particular group of family members who I see maybe 4 times a year. They are religious and I just try to avoid anything about it around them. I've still worn my favourite rainbow tshirt when seeing them though, so they'd have to be stupid to not realise.

    If they were to directly ask me if I was gay I wouldn't lie though... but if they asked if I had a girlfriend I would just say 'no'.
     
  3. Jonathan

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jun 27, 2007
    Messages:
    2
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Illinois
    I would say that I'm basically in a glass closet right now. I haven't come out to everyone, but my sexuality is pretty much becoming common knowledge. Except to my family of course, where only a few select members know at the moment.
     
  4. Gen

    Gen
    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 20, 2012
    Messages:
    4,070
    Likes Received:
    4
    Location:
    Nowhere
    hmmmm............*Out Status*....

    I actually didnt even know other people used the idea of glass closets when I wrote that either. Anyway, I'm not more of a glass closet because I am flamboyant, its just that I am noticeably not straight. I one of those people that you dont know why you know, but you just know. Many people often say that its not that people look at you and think you are gay, but it just doesnt feel right to imagine you as straight/with a women ^-^.

    I'm not sure what you mean by information, though. I dont think it is too different unless you live in a more male model/homophobia community. I actually prefer it this way because I never have had to worry about how I came across or feeling like I am hiding something.
     
  5. Olivier

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Oct 12, 2012
    Messages:
    97
    Likes Received:
    0
    I'm kind of in a glass closet...I mean I have a lot of feminine tendencies...but my mum just says I'm 'European...' eh:/
     
  6. Exceeder

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Nov 12, 2012
    Messages:
    19
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Toronto, Canada
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    All but family
    I am out to everyone, but there are some people (namely people who I went to high school with) who think/know im gay by virtue of other people telling them, or by rumors of it circulating, though I never officially came out to them - so I guess in that sense I am sort of in a glass closet.
     
  7. Harve

    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 25, 2009
    Messages:
    1,953
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Scotland
    Hahahaha! (at what your mum said, not you, if I have to clarify)

    I'm pretty sure many if not a healthy majority of people are in 'glass closets' before they come out, they just don't realise. There's a few gay guys I know who were basically 'the last to realise'.
     
  8. Chickzak

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Oct 23, 2011
    Messages:
    382
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    UK
    I'm not in a glass closet at all; my friends have absolutely no clue even though I let them tease me about it.. but they actually have no idea I might be gay. Bi.. whatever. :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:

    Sometimes I kind of wish I was in a glass closet though. For some of you that might seem like, whaaaat.. I guess it's because at least then, you're excused for your behaviour. Some people may just turn a blind eye when you say things-just because they know you're probably gay.

    Whereas not being out at all, particularly with friends, it's difficult to express how you feel because its almost alwaaays assumed that I'm kidding. And I'm too worried to be honest with them.
     
  9. Lewis

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 31, 2012
    Messages:
    1,477
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    United Kingdom
    To some I am, yeah. Most people don't have a clue though! At school people always used to call me gay and ask if I was, but these days nobody does. Think years of trying my hardest to act what is considered straight embedded within me.
     
  10. Koan

    Koan Guest

    European? *LOL*

    As a european I take that as a compliment ;-)
     
  11. Ettina

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Nov 14, 2012
    Messages:
    1,508
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Canada
    Gender:
    Female
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Reminds me of a guy my father met in a men's group. He was a deeply religious guy who was fairly homophobic and just starting to realize he was attracted to men. He kept asking about various reactions to men and whether it was 'OK' to feel that way, and wanting reassurance that it wasn't a bad thing. He didn't realize until later that all those feelings meant he was gay, but it was pretty obvious to the other guys there. (The group was about half and half in orientation.)
     
  12. musicgeek13

    musicgeek13 Guest

    Well my mom is apparently terrified that I am gay. Does that count? I never flaunt it but I pretty much fulfill all lesbian stereotypes without even trying and everyone knows I support gay rights sooooo it's not really a big leap to assume that I am gay.
     
  13. you

    you
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 24, 2012
    Messages:
    18
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Pennsylvania
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Apparently I am, although I only have two confirmations.
    A friend of mine came out to me accidentally (wrong number text). I told him I was gay too and he said he knew. (So maybe it wasn't a wrong number text... hmm.)
     
  14. Pret Allez

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 19, 2012
    Messages:
    6,785
    Likes Received:
    67
    Location:
    Seattle, WA
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    I'm pretty much a glass closet walking around in my workplace.
     
  15. Cassandra

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 2, 2012
    Messages:
    304
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Mexico (Mexicali City)
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    As far as I know, no, I'm not on a glass closet. At least it doesn't seem to be evident to others.
     
  16. SparkDT

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Nov 13, 2012
    Messages:
    194
    Likes Received:
    0
    For some reason, nobody I've came out to says they ever expected I was gay. I always considered myself at least a little flamboyant. I guess my closet isn't/wasn't glass. :wink:
     
  17. Hard Candy

    Hard Candy Guest

    Joined:
    Oct 11, 2012
    Messages:
    159
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Makati, Philippines
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    I never admitted I am gay, but some people keep on asking me. I don't know if that's counted as a glass closet because they had to ask me, and they seem to believe me.
     
  18. TheSeeker

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Oct 23, 2012
    Messages:
    493
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Up on the Canadian Border in the Rain...
    My closet is about like the "Iron Maiden of Nuremberg"... So no. I am slowly coming out though, so I am inching out of there...
     
  19. Lad123

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 7, 2012
    Messages:
    525
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    England
    Hmm, generally people don't suspect me of being gay so no, I'm not in a glass closet. Although when I was at uni, the only thing that gave me away to 2 friends was that I didn't talk about girls so they did ask me. You know how it is with straight guys and their dirty talk about girls x_x

    However, lately I'm becoming more confident in my sexuality so I've been chipping away those barriers that I built up over the years. It is so boring to maintain a masculine behaviour/image. I'm not afraid to wear what I want now and to be more flamboyant (I still find this difficult though :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:)

    Lol! Gen you crack me up sometimes. (*hug*)
     
    #19 Lad123, Nov 15, 2012
    Last edited: Nov 15, 2012
  20. Brenny

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 2, 2012
    Messages:
    376
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    US
    At work and school, everyone makes hints and jokes that I am gay. I really haven't even come out to hardly anyone, and those that I did come out to have kept it to themselves. I guess there is just something gay about me. Idk. When I do come out, they just say, "yeah that is what everyone thinks."