One of my very dear friends is getting married. We’re only 23 and she’s about to get hitched. Truth be told, she’s marrying a childhood friend that she’s know for years. And she’s from the Caribbean, like me, meaning we marry very early. However, it got me thinking... Aren’t we a TAD too young? I’ve had friends who were married in High School. Again, she was from the Islands, which meant she married at an appropriate age for our culture but my other friend was born here and raised, like me, a Westerner. Some of my other friends have KIDS! Truth be told, they had them while in or right after High School and never heard of protection..but... Are we growing up a bit too fast? Culture aside, I feel so strange seeing my friends have kids and being wed and all. Am I weird for feeling this way or do you think early 20s is a bit too young to get married and start a family? I still feel relatively young and I wanna do the family stuff when I hit my 30s...am I weird?
I believe in getting married and having kids is when both parties is ready. Both Parties should either have a college degree and/or a good career job that provides good money. And your out of that partying/hooking-up stage. I think at least 25 is a good Marriage age that's just in my opinion. I know so many people who are younger then 25 and are on their 2nd kid if you can afford kids thats great but if you can't then you should be having safe sex or no sex. Don't put a poor helpless child into a bad situation or have the Grand Parents taking care of the kids. Its such a sad realty that people these days are so scared to be alone that they date anyone. and Rushing into relationships. I always hear the "I'm single and I'm going to end up a old maid" Cry on facebook almost everyday from people in their 20s
I think it's too young. Being in the 20s is the best era for your life to have the best of both worlds. Old enough to be independent, but not too old to act silly at times. I think we should live our lives to the fullest at this point before doing big decisions.
I think it's not too young, depending of their maturity level. What is wrong is to judge them though. I have friends who spent their childhood together, got pregnant at 12 years old and married right then to be able to be good parents (living on their own, working on their own, and raising the kid) Now 20 years later and two more kids they are still together and in love. I know a few like that who married young and lasted really long too. In my opinion, some people are mature enough and don't feel the need to lengthen that time during youth when they are selfish. I find that it's the opposite; people are too selfish, starting families too old. The trend is to have kids around 30 years old now, and if you make them younger people are going to disapprove, under the reasoning that you should have enjoyed your life more, first. Me, I got my first kid at 26 years old because I thought I was too poor and too unstable to have kids before. WRONG!!! If I could go back I'd have started when I was 20; I would have been better able to run after them, raise them, be up to the challenge... and have more kids! Now it's too late. My second kid has to be my last kid because of some unchangeable reasons. So congratulations to your friend ans please do stop judging her. She may not show it but it hurts to be judged by people you love. ---------- Post added 16th Nov 2012 at 05:25 AM ---------- EDIT: ...by the way, there's not reason to "live life the fullest" only before having kids, unless living life the fullest equals having drugs, being an alcoholic and running around unpredictably without any anchor. To me, a full life can't be without kids.
My grandma was talking to our new neighbors the other day. They have like gay-supportive stickers on there car and have 3 kids. The are a guy and a woman. And their two oldest kids are older then me. When she asked about how young they looked they told her they'd met in highschool and been together for 22 years, got married at 19. i think it's jest an thing that eahc person has to figure out, we are all different and all looking for something different for life I think.
To each their own. Whenever they're ready is fine. It freaks me out seeing the babies and weddings on my Facebook, but it's good.
Some countries have a marriage tradition of very young. I think it's a personal and a relationship thing. If you feel that there's nothing wrong with this person and you know all their kinks and issues but still love them and you feel you will always love them and all that stuff then I think it could be OK. Because divorce is so much more common today I do also think that people should take it a little slower and be a little more cautious just so you're absolutely 101% sure that you can spend the rest of your life with this person no matter what. Maybe they understand the gravity of it all or maybe they're young wild and free. Only time will tell.
There are two couples from my high school class that are already married and one that just got engaged. While it seems very young to me, they seem committed. I know that both people from one of the couples come from families whose parents married when they were just as young, and it they turned out to be very happy. Now, having not even formally dated someone before, I can't even imagine being married, but hey, more power to them. We live in a free society, and it doesn't affect me when they get married and hopefully not divorced. I've pretty much given up the prospect of even finding a relationship until a graduate and goof off for a few years. I have world travel plans, and while it would be awesome to have a special guy alongside me, it also means I have nothing to tie me down, and I pretty much have no obligations beyond doing what I want to do.
i think our generation is different certainly in every way possible. personally i wouldnt get married at 23, 24 maybe. but i think i still personally need to experience 'life' and what it has to offer before i settle down. i was always the last to do anything and i do everything at my own pace which is way behind everyone else but i dont care. i know im not ready at all, even at almost 21 99% of my friends have kids or are engaged to be married. i cant get my head around it but its their life not mine. the only thing i dont like is when people get married so young and expect everyone else to pay for their wedding, yeah i can understand a few bits here and their but you pay for a lot of your own wedding dont you? when you dont have money to pay for rent of a house.... why get married then?
I see people getting married and having kids in the 19-23 range, and it saddens me. I would not want that for myself. I think that's a recipe for feeling like a resentful parent who lost youth not getting to do fun things... I would absolutely not consider kids before 30. At this point, I firmly believe I won't have kids ever. Marriage on the other hand, sure...
