What about a man do you find attractive? Personality wise (funny, silly, sexual)

Smarts.

But being funny is a huge plus, too.

 

Immature definitely isn't a positive attribute. Silly like a kid is good--immature means that they're not fully developed. They aren't capable of handling a healthy relationship.
What the heck do you mean by "Proper etiquette? Just that they have good manners?

Intelligent needs to be on that list.

 

what's a caviar and what's a fish and chips?

 

Caviar is fish roe (eggs). Is fish and chips a cultural thing? Battered and deep-fried cod or halibut and chips (French Fries).

 

Your idea of proper etiquette requires people to be well-educated, wealthy (I'm presuming that's what "fancy" means) and have a preference for the expensive and gourmet? Seriously?

Etiquette is essentially a system of rules designed to ensure smooth social functioning. There are times when etiquette become quite elaborate, at certain kinds of events there are strict rules about exactly how to eat and talk. But these are rules about behavior. Your idea of etiquette seems to be less about behaving properly and more about belonging to a certain social class and conforming to that class's social expectations.

 

I said immature, but to clarify, in a good way, being kind of goofy and funny. I wouldn't want someone who is immature in the sense that they can't be serious, they can't be mature when the need comes, but I like that good natured immaturity that shows that this person hasn't let the world hurt them.

 

I value intelligence, compassion, perceptiveness, self-awareness, a sense of irony, a sense of humor, openness, kindness, understanding, humility, patience.

I couldn't care less whether they prefer fish and chips or caviar, but the last thing I would want them to be is stuck-up and pretentious.

 

You're entitled to your own opinions, but not your own facts. Words mean things. I have no problem with you having a preference for partners of your own social class who enjoy the things you do. I do have a problem with your characterization of belonging to your social class as a prerequisite for proper etiquette. You can be dirt-poor and stand up when women enter a room, take your hat off indoors, and not swear. None of these things are dependent on social class, nor are they matters of preference. They are matters of behavior.

Some of the etiquette rules you observe are rather antiquated behaviors that would take most people aback*, but there's nothing wrong with describing them as proper etiquette. However, when you describe being "fancy" or "prefer[ing] caviar over fish and chips" you are leaving the realm of etiquette and entering the realms of class (for the former) and opinion (for the latter). There are certainly settings where being fancy is called for, or where eating fish and chips would be inappropriate. But these settings are few and far between, and describing them as matters of etiquette is either very sloppy language or indicative of a belief that good manners are restricted by nature to the upper class.

*men standing when a woman enters a room is largely a dead practice, and while semi-formal settings do require men to take off their hats, hat-wearing is largely dead in any case; announcing someone whenever they enter or leave a room would be seen as unbelievably arrogant outside of a very formal setting.

ETA: It hardly bears mentioning, but being well-educated is also irrelevant to behaving politely.

 

Opinions can be wrong. This is the 21st century. Black people aren't slaves. Women can vote. Now even poor people have rights, though not very many.

But your constant habit of insulting and degrading those with less money than you were handed just doesn't fly like it did in the days of Marie Antoinette.

Being born into a privileged class doesn't mean you actually have any class.

---------- Post added 21st Nov 2012 at 03:10 AM ----------

Hey now, hat-wearing is not dead. I often have my head covered by a fedora or a derby or a pork pie- both indoors and out.

 

hmmm...for me it would be an intelligent funny guy...although someone who is willing to let their immature side out every now and then is fun too.

also just to put my two cents in on the whole immature/mature debate that spread out in this thread I'm going to quote something i saw on facebook that actually has some meaning.

being mature doesn't mean you stop being immature. It means you've learned when and where to act immature.

 

Well, Alexander, I'm sorry you felt hurt. I know you've been trying to change your ways to be more respectful towards the poor and working classes.

However I just noticed you keep making these sorts of comments even after apologizing every time, so I guess the message just isn't getting through.

I think the problem is that you still haven't realized what exactly is so fundamentally wrong about your view of class. Maybe you might just need to mature a bit and develop a bit more of an ability for self-reflection on your own views- and an appreciation for the human condition as experienced by those born into far less desirable conditions than you.

It's as if you've spent your whole life cloistered in some 18th century palace, entirely cut off from the realities of the modern world, sheltered from the experiences of like 99.9% of the human beings on planet earth.

As for "acting proper"...being gay was a criminal offense that would get you sent to prison or worse back in the good old days when all the men stood for a lady to enter. With all the problems facing the world today, fretting over the death of some antique social conventions seems rather petty. Let them be wiped away with the march of human progress.

 

I find it pretty weird that immaturity is a list. Is it a turn on for some people?

 

^This, the same things I look for in women, plus being positive/full of life if you catch my drift.
And I agree, being pretentious or focused on etiquette would rather be a turn of than a turn on.

---------- Post added 21st Nov 2012 at 09:58 AM ----------

I second this. Immature can be positive: as in child-like curiosity for example, as well as negative: child-like whining.
I like people who still have some inner child left, when it's in a positive manner that is.

 

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I second this. Immature can be positive: as in child-like curiosity for example, as well as negative: child-like whining.
I like people who still have some inner child left, when it's in a positive manner that is.[/QUOTE]

I still see immature and childish as the same thing. I would rather refer to myself as "silly" or a "kid".

 

I dream of a truly romantic man. Like black tux, red roses, and limousine, but a different type of hot ride might still do the trick. He is into fine dining, and has proper etiquette, that means no burping or flossing in front of me. He would smile back at me with those perfect teeth, and he will never have bad breathe. It would also get me really hot if he would talk to me in French, even though I can't understand it.