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Pansexual, asexual etc...

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Layla, Nov 21, 2012.

  1. Layla

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    Is there anyone here who isn't as clear cut as gay, straight or bi? It took me YEARS to figure out who and what I am but now I've found a label I'm comfortable with (Pansexual) I'm wondering if there's many others out there like me, that don't completely fit into the LGB part of it all...
     
  2. Linthras

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    Well, we don't litteraly fall on the letters LGB, but LGBT does stand for all queer (that is to say, non-straight and/or non-cisgendered) people.
    I don't really like labels, because 99% of the time they're to limited and black and white.
    But to avoid detailed explanations:
    I consider bisexuality and pan-sexuality to be virtually the same.
    I identify as pan-sexual, but also as demi-sexual (which means I don't get really sexually attracted to someone until I've fallen in love with them). For me love and sexual attraction are directly linked.
    I also identify as gender-queer/neutral.
     
  3. Layla

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    See now that interests me, I've never seen love and sex as directly related, it's nice to meet someone that does :slight_smile:

    I used to date a guy who was going through the change to become a woman, this is why I identify with pansexual more than bisexual.
     
  4. Linthras

    Linthras Guest

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    I can get sexually aroused, by thinking about sex in general, but to get sexually attracted to a person, I need to be in love with said person.

    About your point concerning transsexuals and bisexuals. Bisexuals usually do get attracted to transitioned people, because they are the gender they transitioned to.
    A MtF is a female, not something in between or something else, so being bisexual doesn't prevent you to being attracted to transsexual people.
     
  5. Neutrality

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    I'm much the same as Linthras, I can be aroused by thinking about men or women or gender queer people, but I can't be attracted to an individual unless I form some kind of emotional connection to them, it doesn't have to be as strong as love, but I have to care about them.
     
  6. Linthras

    Linthras Guest

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    Out of curiosity and to better explain my personal sexuality:
    Can you be sexually attracted to friends? I can't.
     
  7. Neutrality

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    Umm not easily, I kind of file people into different folders in my mind if that makes sense...so if I file someone in the friend folder, I don't look at them romantically, but I could develop a crush on them, it usually doesn't happen but it did once...at which point I found them sexually appealing...Usually there is some kind of trigger event....like for that friend we spent a whole night cuddling and watching movies, talking about everything and they just kissed me....and it was like a switch was fliped.
     
  8. Linthras

    Linthras Guest

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    So you do need a romantic connection, though not outright love?
     
  9. Neutrality

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    Yea pretty much, there has to be some kind of romantic connection and potential for a future there, but it doesn't have to be like head over heels can never live without you love, cause for me love builds over time, I've never experinced like love at first sight.
     
  10. Layla

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    This is fascinating for me, I can easily sleep with someone I have no emotional connection to and I find all sorts of things attractive about people, not always sexually but if put in that position it can change. I've never been able to associate sex with love, for me the two are completely mutually exclusive.

    But then, I've not had many sexual partners, so maybe I'm just a little naive.
     
  11. Linthras

    Linthras Guest

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    Well the very fact that you can sleep with someone that you have no emotional connection to would suggest they are mutually exclusive.
    And I think you're far from alone on this.
     
  12. Hexagon

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    I am ace. I consider myself a part of the LGBT spectrum. A bit.
     
  13. myheartincheck

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    I identify as demisexual, so to me emotional bonds also hold a link to sexual appeal. My mother always thought I was just a late bloomer with puberty because I was never overtly sexual. She told me most people confuse love with sexual attraction but I've never had that experience. If I don't feel some kind of connection to someone I feel no attraction for them. I've had two major crushes and one girl I've loved.

    I have only ever crushed on my friends. In 8th grade I had a crush on a guy who I was best friends with at the time. He never liked me back though. (he's had alot of girlfriends since then and is a Marine so I never talk with him anymore and I'm no longer attracted to him.)
    Then I had a major crush on my high school best friend but she wanted to screw me carelessly (I need an emotional connection when I think of sex and intimacy) and for us to be in a threesome cuz her boyfriend wanted one with us. I couldn't do that because I was in NO WAY WHATSOEVER attracted to her boyfriend and I really just wanted HER because I was really close to her.

    Then I fell in love with my current best friend (female who has no attraction to women; but who I'm closer to than anyone in this world.) So I've only ever fallen for my best friends and I always end up getting friendzoned... :icon_sad:

    I identify as homoromantic because I develop my closest bonds with women, but I suppose in theory I could crush on a man again... I just have a really hard time connecting with men especially after my abuse and I honestly love how much fairer and kinder women generally are. Plus men are often selfish in bed (NOT ALL! Please no one be offended!) whereas women are more giving and think of it more as a connection like I do. :icon_bigg
     
  14. Linthras

    Linthras Guest

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    I also sort of have a crush on my oldest and best friend, but other than him, I've never crushed or fallen in love with a friend.

    ---------- Post added 21st Nov 2012 at 06:35 PM ----------

    I think this demi sexual men are by definition more caring in and out of bed.
     
  15. Xeno

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    I'm homoromantic, which means that I still find men attractive and I would like to start a relationship with someone. But I have zero interest in sex.
     
  16. myheartincheck

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    I think they probably are but they're a rare breed of man! ^_^
     
  17. Linthras

    Linthras Guest

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    Sadly this is true.
     
  18. Neutrality

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    Honestly I thought I was the only guy that experinced emotional and sexual attraction as a single thing untill I heard the term Demisexual =P...I think it's what causes me to be Pansexual...or bi or whatever word makes sense for it. It's so hard to explain to other people that I care so little about what a person looks like that their gender does not even register to me.
     
  19. Linthras

    Linthras Guest

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    Makes perfect, sense. I feel the same, being demi sexual makes me bisexual/pan. Don't know if that's true for every demi out there though.
     
  20. Neutrality

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    I'm sure it's different for everyone, there must be different degrees to Demisexuality like there are for everything else...honestly I thought I was gay for a long time untill I worked through my emotional fear of women (I won't get into how that formed) Once I was able to get over that and form an emotional connection with women both genders just seemed the same to me...they are all just people =P