I have had like 4 different guys ask me out who I never knew were even gay. I'm not even publicly out yet it's just the group of people that I do know tell other gay guys and each time they are interested in me. I feel bad because I flirt with them but then I refuse to acknowledge them at all. I won't date them or anything because in my mind they're "not good enough". Hell, I can't even decide what I like in a guy but I know what I don't like. Anyone else this picky?
(ok, this situation never happened to me...) You're not really picky if you don't even know what you like in a guy... that just makes you... uncertain and maybe clueless of your type... (but what is "good enough" for you?) <- my interpretation may be off ish
I've seen "picky people" in other "gay sites" I'm not saying which ones, some are looking for specific fetishes others are looking for just tops or just bottoms, or "Bears" or certain age groups. There are so many different aspects to this world It would fill several books. You have the cross dresser, the trans gender, (pre op to post op with or without hormone treatments) The bodybuilders, twinks, str8 acters, wrestlers, and the list just goes on. It is worse than entering a baskin robins ice cream shop. I think "picky" is not the word. Try "selective".
It's bad and you should feel bad for it. That's called leading someone on. If you're not interested, say so flat out, in a kind way. Or keep your interactions with them at a distance altogether if you can't do that. It'll hurt less than stringing them along for a while and then just cutting them out completely when you get bored with it. It's already hard enough to approach someone and introduce yourself, the last thing they want is to have all of their fears and insecurities confirmed in the most assholish way possible. EDIT: Plus, if you're not into them, you're not into them. That's totally fine. It happens. But that doesn't mean they aren't "good enough." It means they're just not your taste. Don't let attention get to your head or anything.
No, that's fine. If you want your partner to have certain things and you aren't willing to settle, then that's your prerogative. I certainly will be the absolute last one to judge you for it. But I think you also have to acknowledge that people are inherently fallible. No one will ever meet everything you'll ever want in a guy. There is no such thing as a white knight and a happily ever after in real life.
Well it depends what you mean when you say, "picky". Picky, in itself, is not a very complimentary description of oneself. We all have preferences, but its more about what they mean to us, than simply having them. If you are finding guys who are not what you desire and seeking as a whole, than that is fine. But if you are unable to see someone past your own checklist, than that is an issue. No one is compatible with everyone. However, if your reason for no wanting to be with a certain person is because of this or that, and not compatibility, that is an issue.
I am that way and I hate it. I try to change it but when I do nothing ever happens and I just get depressed because I am not happy with it.
Well, dont let it get you do because you are having a hard time trying to be more open. Once you get into that mindset, it is a little difficult to dig your way out. The thing is though, you really dont know what could be right, or work for you, in your life. Your future love will most likely be someone you wouldnt have picked out of a crowd. We all have our own labeled preferences, but none of us know the capacity of our feelings. So its not about "settling", if something doesnt feel right, it probably isnt. Its about getting to know people on a deeper level than just what you can assume on the outside. Who knows who you are really going to be compatible with? Dont expect sparks to fly on instinct. If these guys are showing interest in you, and they may not be amazing yet just alright or normal, give them atleast a fair chance. You never know.
This is where I feel worse because I rejected one for being apart of the theatre club and the others for being ugly...
Ugly is understandable, because everyone has physical preferences and those make up most of our first impressions. But theatre club? For what reason would you reject someone who's in the theatre club?
I guess because I don't think its good enough..this is why I'm too picky because I want people to accept me but I struggle accepting them.
When I was 16 I was a huge flirt. I would flirt with guys... girls... whoever. Now that I've been on the recieving end of someone flirting who I liked but who didn't really like me I've stopped that immediately. I don't think it's right to lead others on, but I won't lecture you because I did the same thing when I was in high school. I'm also very picky when it comes to potential partners because it takes me a really long time to really trust or open up to anyone. I've never had any girls ask me out though.... only guys... :bang:
OMG that's what's what I do I'm such a tease :O I'm a flirt naturally and it sucks...... Ugh I'm such a dick
Well it doesnt help to continue to beat yourself up over it. If you are mournful than use that to make a change in the way you treat people in the future. If someone doesnt feel right, its not your fault. However, instead of dropping them, maybe you could atleast try to be friends or get to know each other. The strongest feelings we are going to feel for someone are going to be gradual. Whether they are friend, relationship, or sadly neither material, you will unconsciously sort for yourself. When people tell me about their feelings, I dont shut them down. If I dont feel the same, I will softly put them down, but still make efforts to let them know that I am not disgusted with them/dont feel the same right now/we can still be friends. Confessing ones feelings about another person is hard enough. Its not about lowering standards, its about keeping a mind open enough for people to actually reach them. The only people you will think are perfect at first sight, are just the ones you find 'hot' at the moment.
no way.... some of the most "masculine"* icons on movies and TV started out as college or even high school theater kids... sometimes I don't get the discomfort people have with theater people lol. *read: use the sheeple society definition but hey, the question might be, do you and so and so even click the first few times you have chatted. because sometimes, clicking then getting used to differences might be easier.** ** said by the guy who like, rarely hangs out
