Str8 Guys.... Erm "..."

One Friday night, when all the other people in the flat were out, I wanted to go out too. So I did and approached a group of the girls at the end of the queue to a club, said hello and asked what they thought the club was like. I was playing fairly lost and cute and it turned out they were about 9 years older than me. Then, one of them tried to get me past the queue and introduced me to her other friends "This is [Will], he's really sweet!".

Try pulling that off with a group of men. Or don't. With them, the only way I can think of communicating is saying "Good day, my name is [Will], could I interest you having regular conversations with me, meeting up outside this setting for pleasure and being my friend?". But I think one has to be more subtle than that or else one ends up looking like a male version of Amy Farah Fowler from The Big Bang Theory, even without the aesthetic compliments.

 

I've had similar experiences. I find it's a lot easier for me to converse with girls for some reason. They somehow seem more willing to talk or have more interesting things to say than guys do, and whenever I'm in a situation where I'm surrounded by new people, I can start talking with a girl and get so much further in a conversation than with a guy. I'm not sure why this is either, but it seems to me that you need to share more significant things with a guy than with a girl to have the same quality of social interaction.

 

I'm in the middle lol. I'm shy and know nothing about sports - so to most guys, I can't talk. To artistic and creative dudes like me no matter the sexuality, I can talk easily. With girls - it becomes a lot harder because I'm trying to impress them more (I'm bi, kinsey 2). So, it might be more you like the certain guy (with possible additions to having nothing in common with the ordinary sports kind of guy) than it being unable to talk to guys period?

 

I know exactly what you mean!! I really have no explanation except for the gender stereotypes that we've all been accustomed to. I talk to the women more, but sometimes a guy will be really talkative and sometimes even flirty, which I don't mind at all.

 

So just to throw this one out there.. I'm female and also have trouble with straight men. So the fact that they want to talk about women, not a problem, sports, also not a problem, likewise with beer etc. I just find the conversation often gets stilted. I dunno, I think they often talk in this 'banterish' manner which I struggle with. I do have some straight male friends who are great but the majority.. not so much. I work mainly with men, so I've been trying to right this for a while, I thought I maybe had an issue talking to groups but I have big groups of gay male friends who I get on great with (despite seemingly having nothing in common!!) Likewise straight women. I don't know many groups of gay women so I don't know if that would be different, but one on one, obviously not a problem! Maybe it is just a different style of communication, rather than lack of common interests?

 

I like that everyone thinks every straight guy's conversation is limited to sports and beer. That's just about as ignorant as every gay guy likes every stereotypical gay thing.

Conversation is about common ground. You have to find it in every one you have good conversation with. If it isn't there, then it can't be found. Move on and talk with the girls.

I feel like I do well with everyone. However, there are some you just won't be able to talk with. There's very few people at work I can actually sit and chat with because most of them are not of a suburban culture like I am. They're mostly older and more country. But I do speak with them on life issues and carry their words and experiences with me throughout life. You just have to find a purpose for everyone you're with.

What kind of work do you do?

 

I don't think that's what everyone was saying at all.. I for one have a lot In
Common with those stereotypical 'straight guy' interests, but still feel awkward around groups of straight men.. I know some straight men who feel the same.. there can just be a different dynamic which is hard to fit with if it doesn't come naturally. As I said, on a one to one basis, I get on with many straight men fine. It is all obviously dependant on the individual. But in work based situations, you're often not one on one and that's why it becomes difficult.

 

I can talk to straight guys much more easily than gay guys. I sometimes feel like just telling gays to bore off, I don't wanna hear your crap. I find that gay guys are really pedantic and bitchy, just go away! Straight men are a lot more interesting and I can relate to them a lot more.

I guess in our cases; I'm not meeting the right kinda gay guys and you're not meeting the right kind of straight guys.