1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Blonde Joke

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Grantious, Feb 15, 2008.

  1. Grantious

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 23, 2007
    Messages:
    0
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Australia, Melbourne
    Hey Hey,

    I'm increadably bored tonight and i thought i'd lighten up the mood
    Here's a blonde joke i thought was really really funny

    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
    Well more of a Lawyer joke but it involves a blonde...I gather she's sexy... I dont know how i know that...

    Game Of Intelligence
    There was a blonde who found herself sitting next to a Lawyer on an airplane. The lawyer just kept bugging the blonde wanting her to play a game of intelligence. Finally, the lawyer offered her 10 to 1 odds, and said every time the blonde could not answer one of his questions, she owed him $5, but every time he could not answer hers, he'd give her $50.00. The lawyer figured he could not lose, and the blonde reluctantly accepted.

    The lawyer first asked, "What is the distance between the Earth and the nearest star?"

    Without saying a word the blonde handed him $5. then the blonde asked, "What goes up a hill with 3 legs and comes back down the hill with 4 legs?"

    Well, the lawyer looked puzzled. He took several hours, looking up everything he could on his laptop and even placing numerous air-to-ground phone calls trying to find the answer. Finally, angry and frustrated, he gave up and paid the blonde $50.00

    The blonde put the $50 into her purse without comment, but the lawyer insisted, "What is the answer to your question?"

    Without saying a word, the blonde handed him $5

    Catch..

    P.S Feel Free To post any other jokes not nessaseraly Blonde 1's considering i'll be blonde 2moz YAY
     
    #1 Grantious, Feb 15, 2008
    Last edited: Feb 15, 2008
  2. Alexander

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 4, 2007
    Messages:
    176
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Red Hook NY
  3. ethene

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 22, 2007
    Messages:
    10
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Poland
  4. Jeimuzu

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 22, 2007
    Messages:
    1,375
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Middlesbrough
    I approve. :slight_smile: That's fantastic.
     
  5. Stevie J

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 15, 2008
    Messages:
    28
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Michigan, whoot whoot!
    that it so AWESOME!
     
  6. EthanS

    EthanS Guest

    LOL that was funny :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:
     
  7. dhutchid

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Apr 16, 2007
    Messages:
    26
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Scotland
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    What do you call a blonde with two brain cells???

    pregnant.

    (or gifted)
     
  8. Leigh

    Leigh Guest

    lmao



    a (sleezy) guy gets on a plane and finds himslef sitting next to a beautiful blonde...
    he decides to try his look so he sez to her
    "ive heard your journey will go much quicker if you talk to someone"
    so she puts down the book she was reading and sez
    "what would you like to discuss?"
    the guy sez "nuclear energy"
    and she sez "ok but first tell me this: a deer a cow and a horse all eat grass, so why does a cow shit out a flat patty, a deer little pellets, and a horse muffins of poop??"
    the guy is shocked and sez "i havent got a clue!!"
    so the woman sez "oh, so what makes you think your qualified to discuss nuclear energy when you dont know shit!!!!!!!"


    :slight_smile:
     
  9. Grantious

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 23, 2007
    Messages:
    0
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Australia, Melbourne
    ^^^ that made me laugh
     
  10. Andrew1403

    Andrew1403 Guest

    blonde joke..

    An old blind fisherman walks into a port bar after along days fishing. (this bar happens to be a all girls bar) He blindly makes his way up to the bar. He sits down and orders a pint of Ale.

    As hes drinking he asks the female bartender" iv got a great blonde joke, wanna hear it?

    BARTENDER, "naw thats ok"

    BLIND FISHERMAN, " come on its really funny"

    BARTENDER, "it would probably be better if you didnt say anything"

    BLIND FISHERMAN, "come on its a real hoot!"

    BARTENDER (leans closer to teh fisherman) "i would be careful if were you old man, theirs a well built blonde women sitting 3 chairs down from you who looks like she could bare handedly take down a charging bull rhino, and shes been listening to everything youv said, and not to mention theirs 4 other blondes sitting at tables all over the bar, i wouldnt want anything to get ugly"

    BLIND FISHERMAN, " awe in that case id better not, I WOULNDT WANT TO HAVE TO TELL THE JOKE 5 TIMES ANYWAYS!":icon_bigg


    this jokes alot better telling it in person....incase you didnt understand why its funny...the fisherman would have to tell teh joke 5 times (assuming blondes are dumb, but genetically nothing has been proven)because each blonde woulndt understand teh joke..:icon_bigg

    nothing against blondes! i love blonde guys an girls...the truth is everyone regardless of hair color is ditzy, but the blonde ditzy girls seem to ruin it for all blonde girls...sry hons..:icon_sad:
     
    #12 Andrew1403, Feb 16, 2008
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 16, 2008
  11. GlindaRose

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 20, 2008
    Messages:
    1,230
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    London
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    A blonde was driving in her car and was speeding so she got stopped by a blonde policewoman. The policewoman told her to get out her driver's licence, but the blonde driver didn't know what it was. The police woman said "It's square and has your picture in it" so the blonde driver searched her handbag and pulled out a compact mirror. She saw her reflection in it and said "This must be it" and gave it to the policewoman. The blonde policewoman looked at it and said "Oh I'm so sorry, I didn't know you were a policewoman too" and let her go.
     
  12. sapphicvariety

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Feb 14, 2008
    Messages:
    62
    Likes Received:
    0
    hahahahaha
     
  13. lostinthought9

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2008
    Messages:
    780
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Louisiana
    ok i got one:

    these two blondes were driving in a rural area and they were passing a cornfield, when one of them notices a blonde woman in the middle of the field in a row boat trying to row, and says "its blonde girls like her that give us a bad reputation" and her friend replies, "yea, if i knew how to swim, i'd go out there and bitch slap her!" LOL
     
  14. Perrygay

    Perrygay Guest

    I'm stupid I guess, because all y'all got it and I didn't! I don't understand....
     
  15. Rizpaz

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jan 7, 2008
    Messages:
    196
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Maryland
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    The punchline is that she didn't know the answer to her own question, so the guy payed her $50.00 for no reason.
     
  16. jocr92

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2008
    Messages:
    0
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Hawaii
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    k. so there was this ventriliquist and with his dummy, he was making all kinds of blonde jokes. there just so happened to be a blonde woman activist and she stood up and shouted

    "Hey! I don't like those jokes. They disgrace and demean all blondes!"
    the ventriliquist apologized "Im sorry ma'am, i didnt mean to offend, its just-"
    "I'm not talking to you!" she blonde interupted. "I'm talking to that shit on your knee!"

    ----

    This isnt a blonde joke, but i think you'll like it just the same.

    So there was this couple, a man and a woman and the man always flew out on business trips. Sexually bored, the woman always called over three guys to play hide the snake
    so one day the husband left and the wife called over three guys to come and play.

    halfway to the airport, the husband said "oh shit. i dont have my passport or my jacket" and headed home.

    so he called and told his wife he was coming home. the wife was like oh shit and told the three guys to hide. one hid under the bed, one in the closet, and the last on the balcony. all naked.

    the husband barged through the door and saw his wife naked still.
    "Why are you naked honey?"
    "oh, all my clothes are being washed dear"

    So the husband dismissed the fact his wife was naked and went into the bedroom..

    "I think I left my passport under my bed"
    he checked under the bed and found the first guy.
    "What the fuck are you doing?"
    "Im the carpenter, checking the frame under the bed"
    "Why are you naked"
    the guy stood in dismay
    "Whatever, here's twenty bucks just get out."

    the first guy ran out.
    "I need to get my jacket"
    the husband looked in the closet for his jacket and found the second guy naked
    "What the hell are you doing here?"
    "im the electricitian and im changing the circuts."
    "whatever, heres twenty bucks just get the fuck out."
    the second guy was paid and ran out.

    the third guy on the balcony saw the other two guys getting paid and jumped out from behind the wall and screamed "I slept with your wife too! Why dont I get paid?!"

    sry that was long, but dont you think that was fucken hilarious?
     
  17. CelebrityHead

    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 5, 2007
    Messages:
    59
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Melbourne, AU
    OMG Grant... I actually laughed out loud at that joke! And my brother's just like... wtf?

    Permission to use it? :grin:
     
  18. Grantious

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 23, 2007
    Messages:
    0
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Australia, Melbourne
    he he nt like i made it up lol
    go ahead..