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the story of a girl... this is long

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by woundsneverheal, Nov 29, 2012.

  1. i'm just going to talk about a girl that i never talk to anyone about because i feel nobody will understand or listen and it'd be confusing.

    she's online....and I've been talking to her 6 months now, the story of how we met is i started questioning my sexuality and becoming OCD about it...then started posting questions on yahoo answers and what not...almost every other day..so then one day on may 13th , i was in my bed daydreaming...and all the sudden my phone buzzed and i got a message from a yahoo user and she sent me a message...then..i replied...after we replied for about 2 days about sexuality and other things such as school , i totally felt myself relax for the first time , i felt happy. i didn't worry , i didn't question ...i just felt weightless and that's never happened to me anyways....to shorten the story , she and I emailed each other for 3 months, we didn't mean to continue to talk but we just did....3 months...she said her name was violet and i believed her ,my sister knew she wasn't who she said she was ....but i defended her , for some reason...i just defended her but during the summer i asked her out (i know stupid decision) , she said "yes , yes i will" and she tried to leave a week later , she said she wasn't who she said she was , that i loved the girl in the picture and all i could i think at that moment was trying to get her to stay but i decided to stop talking to her and i came back to find answers
    (this happened 3 times at least) but she wouldn't tell me anything , she just said i would hate her and that it'd be best to just leave. what i realized , every time , i stopped talking to her , i felt this heaviness on my heart ...and at night , i'd feel a sharp pain...i was physically hurting ..and mentally unstable. i was depressed when i would stop talking to her , so each time , i came back demanding answers....all that went away , like magic ...it's like the time we first started talking , all that questioning , worries i had for 6 months went away like it was never there but...she said i had to leave each time i came back,...and when the summer ended , i figured out she lied about who was ...her named is really scarlett and when i told her to admit the truth because i had figured it out before hand. she said this exact quote.

    That was the quote she gave me...and that quote was 3 months ago , were still talking today....yes i know , you may think it's a stupid decision to keep talking to her...but on the other hand , she said she was sorry...she admitted to it...she was just trying to help people online with a fake identity but now she has told be who she really is and some may think
    "how do you know she's real after she lied to you for 3 months?"
    because i did research on her to make sure , she went to the school she said she went to...and make sure she's not a pedophile and what not.
    my sister thinks she's not real and what not....which i can understand but ...we Skyped just a week ago...and she looks like the same girl on Facebook and on her school newsletter. trust me , she's real.

    but today i'm not here to make points how i trust she's real. you think what you want to think. your're entitled to it.

    anyways...i'm here to talk about what i feel now. honestly , i'm happy talking to her....we only talk once a day during the week and talk for about an hour on the weekend since she lives in California now. she lived in England but moved to america...anyways...i think of her every single day , every min....i have no idea why. i don't trust her like i did in the summer but she still makes me happy like she did , she doesn't have feelings for me anymore which actually saddens me. she's emotionally stunted (that's what she says)....but i still like her but i'm trying not though , i'm trying to find someone else...these past 3 months since august have been rough....my sister still accused her of not being real and i just went along with it but i still had that urge to defend her but i didn't say anything because i didn't have the evidence to back her up with...now that i do , i feel the power in my hands...i tried to tell my sister at one point the evidence i had but she still doesn't believe it and if i told her i was still talking to her , she would make sure i don't talk to her.

    i usually don't talk to people on the internet. she's the only person i talk to online. i use to talk to people online but never for long...like a week or something and then i would just stop talking to them but for the first time , someone online made me happy and i couldn't figure out why...

    i thought her every single day during the summer and i still think of her every single day. when i'm having a bad day , she makes it better...again like magic...when i'm really angry , it seems when were talking about it ..she takes all the frustration out of me....i don't know how but she does.

    i talk to my friends , family or someone about it but they never take it away , they give the same advice but i'm still mad at the end at the day but when i talk to her about it and she says the same thing they did , i forget about it...and i just feel happy.

    she's the same age as me....16 and i'm turning 17 in April. i am so excited for it!.
    anyways to shorten this up , i can't let her go again , it hurts to let her go as cheesy as it sounds....i just can't...whenever she said "just go" in the summer...my heart dropped and my eyes welled up. i did let her go 3 times and each time i did , i was in so pain...and i couldn't bear it.

    she is amazing. she has her mistakes and problems but i accept it and she accept me.
    i could go on and on about her but at the end of the day...it's going have to end by going to sleep and even there she's in my dreams haha.

    so that's my story of a girl....hope you enjoyed (which i guarantee you didn't)
     
  2. Illusion

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Nov 2, 2012
    Messages:
    114
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    Location:
    England
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    That was indeed long...
    But it was an intresting read,actually.
    Though your relationship certainly has had it's ups and downs and many complications,I find myself wanting something like this...
    I hope everything works out okay. :slight_smile:
     
  3. it's a friendship right now with me and scarlett but ...i want a relationship ...i'm just waiting and hoping that she'll have feelings for me again.