This must have happened to most of us, when you meet up with other gay people, for the first time, and they start asking you questions that you wouldn't be asked if you were straight and talking to your straight friends :dry: Questions like: How long have you known? :dry: Have you told anyone else your gay? :rolle: When did you have your first gay sexual experience? :eek: :icon_redf And you can see how you're being scrutinised by them as if you're lying or something :eusa_liar ...as if you'd lie about being something some people hate! :dry: When people thought I was straight I was never asked when I had my first sexual experience etc, so why do some of us feel the need to ask other gay people such questions? :lol:
When I meet another fan of metal music for the first time, they often ask me things I wouldn't be asked if I were a non-metal fan talking to another non-metal fan. Who was your first metal band? What's your favorite sub-genre? What was your first show? Conversation is born out of our commonalities, and out of talking about those commonalities. So maybe the people you're talking about were just trying to make conversation and gravitated towards an obvious commonality between you two.
^ On top of that, for a lot of people you might be one of the other handful of people that they know is queer. Or maybe you are THE only person they know so many people crave to make a connection just for that reason alone. They want to know they aren't the only one, they want to connect on that level, and they want to know how other gay people go about things. Sort of like EC, but in real life and for people who don't have access or are too afraid to look for online places like these.
I don't generally ask about sexual experiences but I'll sometimes ask about how long they've known or if anyone else knows. I figure if they want to tell they will, if not they'll say so.
I agree with what the other posters have said, but I wanted to add: If you feel uncomfortable with questions like "When did you have your first gay sexual experience?", you're not obligated to answer. Just tell them you're not comfortable discussing your sex life. I personally see it as inappropriate unless you're already friends with a person, and know they don't mind talking about the subject.
I agree as well people do ask those question to find common ground i have found myself asking questions like that to just start up conversation then i usually go to talking about music or something random. ---------- Post added 1st Dec 2012 at 07:42 PM ---------- Who was your first metal band? What's your favorite sub-genre? What was your first show? Whoo metal fan!!
"Straightitude" is a given, so when you have two gay people they'll both be excited to meet another gay person; after all, in normal social situations, only about .04% of meetings are gay person to gay person.
I definitely talk about sex a lot with my friends, but I don't think I'd ever ask somebody about their sexual experience upon first meeting them. In fact, the only thing I may ask a new gay friend is "do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend" and "are you out to your parents?" I do get super excited when I meet another gay person though.
Like other people have said, if you don't meet lots of gay people day to day it's only natural that you'd talk about this sort of thing. Personally I wouldn't mind being asked and if I met a gay guy or girl I'd be interested to know.
