well its what i call it. im not trying to offend anyone at all, but maybe others have noticed this also.... i cant really explain it without being long winded haha. im not really sure how to explain it either lol. maybe its just the people i have known im not sure. i know girls who are not straight and show no interest in a girl (i.e say she isnt her type/not attracted to her e.t.c), but yet when they find out her sexuality they are all over her and change their tune.... girls have done this to me and i was really put off by it. its seems really different than when someone is genuinely interested in me... its fine what other people do with their lives e.t.c but personally i dont want to be with someone who wants to be with me through lack of other options it would seem but rather someone who wants to be with me because they genuinely like me.... and the worst is girls who show 'opportunity interest' in me and when i say sorry i dont like you like they, they use the excuse 'but youre a lesbian'..... awkward. does opportunity attraction exist? or am i just meany butt and reading signs wrong :eusa_doh:
Definitely exists. Truthfully, you see it (or I do at least) once in a while on here when people post about their situations. The thing is, one of the things attraction is formed off of is similarity. I think as LGBT people we've conditioned ourselves to, while enjoying crushes, try to not get too close to most people in a romantic sense because odds are it'll be unrequited love. So as soon as you find out someone plays for the same team you do, well, they're suddenly a lot more similar than you thought they were. And of course, since I'm sure most of us want someone to love and be loved by, finding someone we actually stand a shot with is enough motivation to take a chance.
Agree with BudderMC. Well put. It definitely exists, seeing as how I've been on both ends of it, and I've seen others experience it as well.
Isn't it also somewhat similar with good looking/fun/attractive people with/without a wedding ring? You may at a distance see someone that looks interesting but once you find out they're "off the market" you tune them out? Now one day the wedding ring is off, which signals the person may be available, and they become interesting again? Of course the other part of that comparison is drunk annoying guy pursuing a single girl and not "getting" that she's not interested because after all in his mind she meets all the criteria
I think there is opportunity attraction because i have accepted going on a date with someone because of my friends telling me he was also gay but then later said no because of how they looked.
Like BudderMC very well said, some people just want to be with someone for the sake of being with someone. Either they just can't be alone, or they just want to be in a relationship, no matter what it's based on. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you for wanting to be with someone who likes you and wants to be with you for who you are. Isn't that what we all want? I know I would only want to be with someone I like, who has the same feelings about me. And if I can't find someone like that, I'd rather be alone than with someone who wants to be with me just to not be alone.
Hey i have to agree with the majority here...it's the whole you always want what you can't have...the grass is always greener type of a thing...human nature
I don't believe that one excludes the other. Like awesomeyodais said, it's about looking for people who's 'on the market'. There's no point in being genuinely interested in a straight person. Better to know beforehand.
