I glanced over this and saw it's pretty much all about Christmas. Anybody else Jewish and dealing with Chanukah stuff? I know there's also others who would not celebrate Christmas here, like Muslims, maybe also Hindus or Buddhists, pagans, and certainly atheists. Feel free to post here also if you don't feel like starting your own thread. Nothing more isolating at this time of year than being both not of the majority religion in your area or support group, PLUS LGBTQ! I'm going to a Chanukah party tonight at my synagogue, but I'm dealing with problems because I don't know what to wear - I feel like being openly out like wearing a rainbow accessory, but am too afraid. But I really don't want to wear a skirt, and also don't want to be offensive to anyone by wearing pants because that might not seem dressed up enough (it is also Shabbat, which I have struggled with appropriate clothes for anyway, but can so far get away with dark pants - the added party ups the dressy factor though). It sucks, the pull to be super-traditional at this time of year just so you can participate in things with a religious/ethnic community or not freak out the elderly and more conservative of the bunch, or disappoint relatives who were hoping to hock you off to the next Jewish single they see - "why didn't you wear a dress?! How will you meet a nice boy if you don't take more care with your appearance?" I really want to go to this party and be out so I can see if I can meet some single Jewish lesbians! But I think I have to dress straight because I'm too scared to be out at synagogue yet. I want to meet the "nice Jewish GIRL"! Would love some gay Jewish support for this season! Happy 7th Night! (!)(!)(!)(!)(!)(!)(!)
Happy Hannukah! & Shabbat Shalom! I'm Jewish as well but I don't belong to any synagogue, i wish I did. Which type of synagogue is it? conservative, reform, orthodox? I refuse to wear a skirt and have to be forced to wear a dress so I know what you mean Jewish people are usually very liberal in thinking so I think you would be able to talk to some open minded people. Have you tried talking to a rabbi? I spoke with one when I was questioning if god existed. He told me that I wouldn't be a good jew unless I question these things lol. and that I can also be an atheist and be jewish. He was a very cool rabbi. As far as other jewish LGBTQ people, I know of at least 3 that I can think of right off the top of my head that I know. Hey, wouldn't you be still respecting the tradition of only dating ect. jewish people? you'd still be dating a jewish woman...Have you heard anything about how rabbi or other jewish people think about the LGBTQ community?
Shoot, I just tried to edit the thread title because I accidentally wrote "Why," but it only changed it on this page and not the forum! ARGH!
Re: Why My Jews At? Hi! My synagogue is seriously awesome. It is technically Conservative, but is focused on social justice/tikkun olam-type stuff so they supported gay marriage before it was officially allowed by the branch. But they are not a gay synagogue, and are very large so there are a wide range of people. People at a Chanukah party are likely to be more religious, because these are people who choose to go to the synagogue for such an event rather than only hang with family or friends. But not as religious as people going to a more obscure holy day, lol, so there is strategy to this! I just moved back from a very conservative part of the country that I had to go to for work for a few years, so that synagogue was definitely not gay-friendly, and so it is hard for me to adjust to the fact that it is probably ok to be out here. I am taking my time meeting new people, so I don't want to go too far and then be really upset by a negative experience until I feel more sure-footed socially. LOL, yeah, that is a saying - if you haven't questioned if G-d exists, then you are not really Jewish. I haven't talk to any of the rabbis since I moved back, but if I ever get married to a woman I would like to do it in this synagogue. When I used to live here before, I attended with my husband, but was very open about my support of LGBTQ rights. I was not specifically out as bisexual in the synagogue though, because again I felt kind of uncertain about doing that even though I was out as bi elsewhere. There are people in the synagogue who are not in agreement with its official stance, and I don't think there have been many gay marriages performed yet there, if any. Yeah, I've done a decent amount of reading on it, and actually would like to create a thread in the general support for LGBTQ Jews. There are complicated views on this. As you know, "be fruitful and multiply" is a pretty big commandment for Jews, so among Orthodox it's not really cool to be in a same-sex marriage. Men have way more commandments specifically prohibiting their sexual interaction, but for lesbians, there are only a few specific things you're not supposed to do, and otherwise a partnership and love between women is not actually prohibited. There are a handful of things you would have to specifically decide to violate, and that is harder for those who are at least somewhat observant because for most Jews, the things you violate, even though potentially numerous, are not usually by intent. You are not consciously thinking, I will violate this mitzvah, I am going to look at art, or I am going to weave two kinds of cloth together. But like for some who choose to intentionally eat shellfish, you have to know you are doing it - and when that choice is to be in a marriage or serious relationship, it's hard because there is some guilt about the entire life together, not just an evening in a Red Lobster. Anyway, I don't want to go off on a tangent because we can save that for the Jewish thread, but there are some specific problems with it according to Torah and other writings, and it is definitely not ok with the Orthodox community to choose to be in a same sex relationship, even though they believe people are born this way and so the only "choice" is to actually act on it versus thinking. Additionally, there are writings about wearing the clothes of the opposite sex or assuming their appearance, so there are problems for many LGBTQ folk there too. There don't appear to be a lot of out single lesbians at my synagogue, although I think one of the rabbis who works there may be a lesbian. Not sure about that, but I will need to look into it. Anyway, they have a lot of pull between the conservative and the modern, and so I'm afraid to be out there just yet, since it is not obvious by just looking at me so I would have to purposely make an issue of it somehow to be known and accepted, not just walk around. In the end it doesn't matter what anybody thinks, I'm planning to date women who are from other religions too - but I think likely I won't be able to get too serious with someone if they don't share the same holidays and stuff as me, because that would make me feel too isolated and wouldn't feel like a family - I want to share with someone, not explain everything all the time. ---------- Post added 14th Dec 2012 at 02:39 PM ---------- YAY!, thanks cat!
How weird - last night I randomly ended up sitting next to two gay people at the dinner! A man and a woman, both significantly older than me. Took most of the dinner before I found out they were gay because of some of the conversation they were having. I then joined it, and they said the synagogue is very supportive of LGBTQ folk. I don't think I had much in common with either of them, but that was a nice very random surprise to sit next to them. I think in future I will wear a rainbow ring to services, so I can be out but also just dress however I feel works best for the occasion. If I look too femme, oh well, whatever.
im not a Jew, I am a gentile. I know a transman on campus, who is living with a gf, and he looks so awesomely fully male now...and he goes to all his Jewish religious stuff and his dad finally calls him son too. i bet it would be weird to become male in a Jewish faith cuz i read how at least orthodox beliefs really separate the genders. but seeing how he is doing it so well really inspires me.
