So my family has proclaimed me the best liar of the group. (still not sure if that is something I should be proud of) Anyway, I realized that I am such a good liar because I always leave a little bit of the truth when I am lying. That way I can convince myself by focusing on the small truth that is there and in turn, convince others. The funny thing is that I notice myself doing that when it comes to hiding my sexuality from my family. I try and use pronouns that aren't gender specific when referring to possible future relationships. Like my mom will talk about me getting married one day and I'll say "They would have to be a patient person to put up with me." By doing this, I allow myself to be honest without actually coming out. Kind of helps me keep my sanity that way. It's almost like I am admitting it but allowing my family to continue ignoring it if they want. I'm pretty sure at least some of my siblings have caught on but my parents stay in total denial. I'm curious about everyone else in the closet. What are your "tactics"?
Haha, yeah use of personal pronouns and being very general are tactics of mine. I basically try not to give anything away. I don't really think there's any other tactic to use when someone asks something that can directly implicate your sexuality. I think I just sound blatantly fake if i talk about girls... I don't really know why i do it, i guess i try and minimize the lying as much as possible. I am truthful when it comes to filling out diversity forms though
I choose not telling the truth over lying, if that even makes sense. That, and being veeery general, as hello1992 mentioned in the above post. If asked an awkward question, I will turn it all the way around, so that I don't have to answer it. Can't think of any examples right now. All I can say is that it has been working so far.
I am very general with everything I say. If my mum says things about guys, instead of answering with he i answer with they. Altough i have had times where i have directly denied it and felt really bad afterward but the people who asked just meant it jokingly.
I'm like you in that regard. Lying is something that comes naturally to me. I've had 30 minute long conversations about past girlfriends, their fetishes, and the times we've had sex even though I've never dated a female, nor seen one naked in person.
If I do lie I make sure to use some truth to it but I think it isn't honest to lie by omission of who you are.
I would try to find something that i hear straight guys say about a girl they thought were hot thats how i pretty much did it. When people would talk about me getting with girls i would just go brain dead and didnt lie or tell the truth i would just change the subject
It's weird; I can actually discuss girls with my guy friends even though I'm basically a 6 on the Kinsey Scale. I can admire beauty in any form. I feel weird doing it around friends I'm not out to, though, since I don't want them to get the wrong impression. If I'm not out to a person, I'll use gender neutral pronouns. The more astute people will catch on, and it's actually a very pleasant way to come out.
This is exactly what i have done in the past and it made me feel horrible. Although i have actually been with a woman before and it was so bad. But at least i have that little bit of truth to base my lies on lol.
When I'm around strangers and people I'm not out to, I replace pronouns so that it seems I'm straight talking about my loving, adorable boyfriend. So I lie completely. I don't LIKE to, and I always feel awful about it. But my babysitting gigs could be compromised if I don't lie. It's the only way I can make any money. And even if I didn't have that to worry about, there's the whole "I may insult someone" aspect. So yeah, I lie about being gay to everyone outside my family and even some of them in order to keep their feelings intact at the sacrifice of my self respect and respect to my girlfriend. And that's WHEN people ask. I don't EVER bring it up on my own...
I've actually enjoyed telling some of those lies. It was funny for me. One time at party, an uninvited redneck showed up with some other, semi-cool (invited) people. I followed him around for the entirety of his stay, which was thankfully short, and had conversations about drugs we've done, females we've sexed, races we don't like, and most of all *homosexual slur here*'s. When it was time for him to leave, he walked out the door and was about to get into his ride's car, but I poked my head out of the door and yelled "Yo, dude! Go fuck yourself, I'm gay!" the look on his face was hilarious. It exuded confusion, anger, and hurt. And whiskey. He was already inside the car at that point, and apparently wanted to find me and beat me the fuck up, but the semi-cool driver threatened to use a tazer on him. And then I saw him at store a month later and I guess he was so drunk at the party he had amnesia as he didn't even recognize me.
Generally I just try to avoid the question if people ask me about girls. I try to use language which doesn't specify gender but if I'm in a corner sometimes I have to lie. Just earlier today my sister asked me when I'm going to bring a girl home, I just sort of shrugged and said I don't know, then changed the subject. Not sure if this is relevant but the other day I nearly came out to one of my best friends but pussied out. He was talking about his girlfriend and then he asked me how I was getting on only he said "how are you getting on with girls, or boys?" It took me back completely because I didn't think he suspected at all. For a split second I thought I could tell him but I chickened out and I've been kicking myself since. I just faced him for a moment and said something like "not great to be honest", then changed the conversation to something else. It made me happy that it seems like he wouldn't have a problem with it though.
