Hey guys! This thread was kind of inspired by the LGBT awkwardness thread. It coud fit in there as a post but i felt it deserves it own. Have you heard of the drinking game 'never have i ever'? You basically have to come up with things that you havent done but others have. If they have they drink. Most of the time its stuff like 'never have i ever pulled more than ... women in a night). This game is really awkward for me because it either brings up the awkwardness of being asked about girls, or the fact that i am very sexually inexperienced (i'm gay so clearly havent done anything with females and am in the closet so havent done anything with males). Whenever people ask me related questions i just blush and shy away. Luckily this has made me seem really innocent so most of my friends have stopped asking about girl crushes etc. I'm a little embarrassed about my lack of sexual experience, I think some of my straight male friends find it odd that i am sexually inexperienced (thinking i am straight), they seem to think of it as a source of respect among other males. One even asked if i was asexual because i am so quiet about my sexual feelings... I guess this question is most applicable to those in the closet, but do you also feel embarrassed with your straight friends about how inexperienced you seem? I try hard not to slip up and let people know i am gay, i would like to seem straight, but i was strangely disappointed when one of my bi friends said i dont seem gay. Have you had similar experiences?? I'm not really in need of social support with this thread, but i am just curious about how other people perceive your sexual identity while being in the closet. I reckon if i came out they would think it suddenly makes a lot of sense....
Yeah I've played this game a few times, I hate it. I can never think of good things to say. Never feel embarrassed for not rushing into having sexual experiences, that's your decision. This is so true. When I came out to my best friend he text me the next day saying 'how did I not realise before? It all falls into place now'. Just be true to yourself. I made the mistake of lying about things like that and it just makes coming out a lot harder.
Absolutely, some really awkward situations due to being in the closet. Though on the other hand it can make for some really funny situations too. Being asked about girls in general I get all sweaty and nervous. The more comfortable I've been the last few months with my sexuality I'm able to weasle around those questions and situations For example, playing 'never have i ever' and I was asked 'If I had ever kissed a guy before?' I replied with a very overly happy Yes! ...How they didn't question my very happy response I don't know hahaha. Little do they know I've done more than just kiss guys
I always hated it when people played that game at uni (although it was always called 'I have never...', rather than 'never have I ever...' which sounds too complicated for when you're drunk), as I could never think of anything cool to ask when it was my turn and I had absolutely zero experience with anybody so always felt really lame, boring and embarrased compared to everyone else. I still thought of myself as straight then. I think everyone back then just thought I wasn't bothered about being with anybody, which I wasn't really. I don't particularly remember getting asked if I was gay by my friends, although I was asked by gay guys a couple of times in clubs but never got approached by a girl so maybe they picked up on something even I wasn't aware of. Now I look back and regret not being more self aware and going for it. A couple of years later I had a friend who was convinced I was gay but I told her I thought I was asexual, as I thought that will mean she'd stop asking me about being gay but won't think it odd that I don't show interest in girls either. I was amazed how happy it made her when I came out to her. My family had apparently discussed whether I could be gay but come to the conclusion that I probably wasn't interested in anyone as there seemed to be no hints of interest in guys or girls. And then photos of me crossdressed at Halloween went up on Facebook and they quickly revised their opinions.
"I'm not really in need of social support with this thread" An enthusiastic high five to hello1992 for saying so it's refreshing to see it come from someone so young. I've always been comfortable with my sexuality from the time I was old enough to realize what it was and it didn't matter to me which side of the batter's box I was in at the time. All this is no big deal, get over it, be yourselves and enjoy it. We're not all victims of some percieved social malfunction.
Pretty much this! I hate the moment when people suggest drinking games, as sexual stuff always comes up, and I have to find an excuse.
For awhile I would date thinking I could somehow become sexually attracted to a girl. I felt some emotional pull, but nothing physical. I played the straight charade mostly through dates or going with friends to strip clubs, talking about hot girls, etc. People have a hard time pin pointing me. Some think I actually get some, some think I am a virgin lol. No one really suspects me of being gay. I sometimes would make up drunk hookups about sex. By college, I was insanely curious about what sex would be like with a girl. So I did it a few times and it was usually always under the influence of alcohol and I was very relaxed and comfortable. No anxiety. That is the only way I got through the act. A few times I fantasized about guys. Watching a girl undress was not exciting, nor was looking at her body. I think they are beautiful and attractive, but I don't get "urges" for them. The act felt good but everything leading up to it felt like a chore. A job or a test.
I'm so socially (*#@! you spellcheck, Get it right!) that people just chock any "gay" behavior up to that. I don't think anyone suspects me of being gay, except my one girl friend who knows because I told her.
