Changing Times

I am very fortunate to live in a more progressive part of the country. My partner and I can be completely open about our relationship in public, with no fear of retaliation. I am out at work, as are others in high-ranking positions. My friends and family are all supportive. But the one thing that gets me is that even when we get married, as things stand now, we will not have the same rights as heterosexual married couples. That will only be accentuated when we have children. We can cobble together some of the more important protections with medical powers of attorney, but we shouldn't have to. We shouldn't have to worry that if we drive over into a neighboring state and get into an accident, that one of us may be denied the right to make medical decisions for the other. We shouldn't have to worry that a hospital in a neighboring state may refuse to recognize one of us as the parent of our children. People saying derogatory things about gay people rarely bother me because I find it rather easy to dismiss them as small-minded, bigoted, and simply pathetic. But the lack of equal rights is what I find most upsetting and harmful.

 

When I hear someone say how being gay is a choice. Oh yes, I just woke up one morning and went, "I think I'll be a lesbian from now on!!" I totally chose to live a lifestyle that everyone thinks is inferior. Everyone thinks is disgusting and centered around sex. Everyone thinks its okay to make jokes and construct insults about gay people. It can be really hard to go on hearing it all but here I am, here and queer.

 

i can't speak much from experience re: being a pansexual/part of the LGBT community because i have only recently acknowledged what i am, but as a long-time supporter of the LGBT community and equal rights i can say that the general bigotry of people (especially of religious people who think themselves righteous in their bigotry) pisses me off to no end.

i'm a lover of documentaries and i've seen many historical documentaries about X group fighting for equality in America and now you look at America today and X group has the equality that they fought for. however, that same X group who experienced discrimination, inequality etc does THE EXACT SAME THING that was done to them to Y group and uugghhh.... i really don't understand such bigotry. will history EVER stop repeating itself, i wonder...

 

I'm sorry you had to deal with all this.

Personally, I am less concerned about gay marriage (in churches) than most people here.

I pride myself on being a very understanding person, i believe people should be allowed to do what they want providing it doesnt harm anyone else. It therefore maddens me when people are overtly anti-gay. People are well within their right to have their opinion on gays, but i don't like it when these opinions turns into words and actions. London is a very inclusive place to live so i haven't experienced much abuse myself (unless you include when people will randomly say homophobic comments to me even when i havent told anyone i am gay).

I'm mainly just concerned about how i will be treated if/when i come out. People can think what they won't, but as long as they don't express such thoughts to me i will be content.

 

Welcome to EC, Kay! (*hug*) Age is not relevant here. Unless you're under 13. :lol:

To respond to your question... The thing that maddens me most is the hostility towards homosexuality by many "Christians". Being a Christian myself, I see absolutely nothing wrong with loving someone of the same gender. There are so many horrific things to focus on on our planet, and many people choose to focus on being gay. Totally opposite from what true Christians are called to do.

What things hurt the most?
The fact that many LGBT people are still abandoned by the parents who are supposed to love them... even though things have gotten much better, this is still a problem that needs to be fixed.

What discourages the most?
Probably seeing young kids being indoctrinated into the anti-gay agenda. Children are the future of LGBT rights.

What are your answers to the questions? Now and when you were young?

 

:'( .....reading your post, Kay, makes me even sadder in regards to my original post about history repeating itself. it hasn't even been a lifetime since black people were marching the streets of America demanding equality. it hasn't even been a lifetime since women did the same thing. hell, it wasn't even that long ago (compared to the history of the world) that the religious groups that are dishing out the discrimination today were the ones being discriminated against!

America is full of people from every walk of life and background who have fought for their rights and it's not just "history" because those people, those memories, those experiences are still very much alive today. and yet.... here we are today, still fighting over equality. it made me immensely sad to hear about how much you have been through, how much effort you and others have put into fighting for LGBT rights over the years and how you may not even get to experience the full fruit of your labor in your lifetime... :tears:

let me assure you, however, that regardless of how soon it happens, it WILL happen! there are and will continue to be new generations of fighters and we WILL get the rights that we deserve...!!!

....and then American/the world will find a new group to heatedly debate about and screw over. :bang:

 

Well I feel that i have some proof of more accepting people in my generation. i'm 13 and out to my entire class. I'm in Idaho in a catholic school. which should be very conservative in general but everyone is perfectly fine with it. This one girls mom is a extreme religious fanatic but she just didn't see what was so big. Basically my friends in a school which is probably homophobic in the most conservative state in the country accept my gayness.

 

*hugs* ....often i get sad/angry and think "what a crappy world this is", but when i look back on history... when i read your post, i can't help but feel like i'm extremely lucky having been born into a world that has already been made so much better through others' efforts. :tears: thanks to activists and so many others like you. (&&&)

you know... i already use this argument when arguing gay rights, but thinking about it now, if i ever do come out to my extremely religious mom i might try to do so through history..... being an African American woman you'd think she'd at least understand a little more if viewed in that light. thanks for the idea.

 

agreed 100%.

staying away from religion will be the hardest part with my mom, i'm afraid. for her, as with so many African Americans, religion and The Church (yep, it has to be capitalized) is such an integral part of EVERYTHING for them.... which is why i said "if i ever" because like you i very well may try to steer clear of ever having to come out to her/my family in general. :dry:


....but anyway, i feel like i've inadvertently hijacked your topic! SORRY! carry on, everyone! :smilewave

 

I'm dreading having to go through that, even though I am a lawyer myself and can handle the paperwork for us. I hope the U.S. Supreme Court rules correctly on the DOMA case now before it, but I won't hold my breath.

 

And I and I thought I had a bad I guess it's true you have to take a walk in somebody else's shoes to fully understand the big picture. But I didn't have the internet as my mom thought as kids we would look at porn on it so I'm with you on that part but we have gay marriage in my state so not as bad. I'm so glad things have changed for us!!

 

i can only imagine how much that must have sucked and how much that must still suck... your parents never knowing your partner, having had to lie to them about her.... yeah, i would love for it to never have to come to that for me, but yeah... i have not just my relationship with my mom to think about, but also her herself and her honor/pride/etc. she's a well-known minister in her community and any news of me being pansexual would spread like rapid fire. people's reactions would most certainly completely destroy her before she even had a chance to come to terms with who i am.

currently i'm with Mr. Right and have been with him for almost 4yrs, so my family doesn't suspect a thing. however, unlike some people might think given my situation, i have absolutely no intention of conveniently staying in the closet just because i'm with a guy. i very well may have to (will probably have to) with regards to my family, however. a tell tale sign that my mom won't be able to accept my sexuality is that despite telling her that i'm not religious, 10 years later she still pokes and prods me about marrying my partner because she thinks it's a sin that we're unmarried and living together. :eusa_doh: if something ever happens between me and my partner and i end up finding Ms. Right, i'll definitely have a situation on my hands. :icon_sad: it's times like this that i'm thankful i live literally on the other side of the world from my family. they'll never know unless i tell them.

thanks for listening to me ramble about personal stuff and sharing your thoughts on the matter. very, very much appreciated.