I'm writing a book with a character that has OCD in it, and I want to do it as correctly as possible. Basically, I'm wondering what goes through your head when something triggers your OCD. IE an all-consuming thought or something. It would also be nice to know what sort of things trigger it, too, for sake of realism... I hope this doesn't come off as ignorant or offensive, I just don't want to tell false infromation as the only times I've seen OCD is monk and glee Anyways, thanks for telling me! Bye!
In order for me to answer this question, I'm going to have to be very personal. I don't usually share this kind of thing with strangers, but I feel like this forum is an appropriate place. Usually the sufferer has experienced a traumatic event in their life, but that belief has said to be weakened due to the fact that many OCD sufferers respond well to SSRIs. The lack of serotonin in the brain causes depression and anxiety, which are the two main illnesses within OCD. I do have a lack of serotonin in my brain, but my OCD did not show up until I was in elementary school. So not only do I have a chemical imbalance, but I also did experience traumatic events in my life. I had my first panic attack when I was 8, so I know that's when my OCD surfaced. I was diagnosed with OCD and PTSD when I was 15. Usually what triggers my OCD is something that makes me very upset. For years I had to deal with custody battles between my mom and dad. My dad was a controlling alcoholic and could never keep a job, so my mom divorced him when I was 4. My dad was also a hypochondriac. He constantly monitored me and my sister and would never let us do anything without limitations. He never would let me use house cleaner because he said it was toxic and that it could kill me. He told me that if I were to touch a mushroom outside, I would be contaminated. That and many other instances triggered my fear of contamination. I constantly washed my hands ever since. For years I blamed myself for the divorce and the fights between my mom and dad (and what kid doesn't?). I felt that since the fights were about me, then I must be at fault. I would watch my dad manipulate and steal from people without any shame. Every time I got angry or pitched a fit about something, my mom would say, "You look just like him" out of frustration. When she said that to me I figured that if I look like him, then I'm probably going to grow up and be like him. I think that was what triggered the doubtful thoughts and guilty feelings. I would constantly ask my mom if I was a good person. Even though she continued to reassure me that I am, I still felt extremely guilty for no reason. A lot of people with OCD feel constant guilt for no reason. The doubtful thoughts, however, are the main part of OCD. I mean, it is called "The Doubting Disease", lol. A lot of other things happened in my life, but I won't get into that unless you need me to. People with OCD usually have panic attacks caused by anxiety. The feeling of doom and loss of all hope goes through the minds of someone who is having an OCD related panic attack. They feel the need to act on random compulsions to avoid the irrational thoughts, and even keep the thoughts from happening, no matter how unrealistic the thoughts are. The person with OCD knows deep down that their thoughts tend to be unrealistic, but the OCD always has it's way of making them think, "What if?". For example... When I was younger, I was terrified of losing my mom. I constantly worried about her dying, even though she was perfectly healthy. So to avoid the negative thoughts from becoming a reality, I would act on compulsions. My compulsions were something like touching the table a certain number of times or touching the door with my left and right foot each time I walked through the doorway. Monk is a great example. I've never really watched the show but once or twice. If I'm correct, his OCD is based on order and cleanliness. He probably feels that if something is out of order, then something bad will happen that day. I'm not quite sure, just guessing. I hope I was somewhat helpful.
What goes through my mind is.. "You have to do this. Do it now. You're not doing it! Why aren't you doing it! Don't you know what will happen if you don't do it?! Come on... just do it. Get it over with. You won't have to do it again. There, you did it. See? That wasn't too hard." And it just repeats itself! And what triggers it is usually nervousness, excitement, anxiety... anything that causes a big change in my usual mood.
"You have to do this. Do it now. You're not doing it! Why aren't you doing it! Don't you know what will happen if you don't do it?! Come on... just do it. Get it over with. You won't have to do it again. There, you did it. See? That wasn't too hard." This pretty much hits the nail on the head for me - thanks Skydiver. Like seriously though, for example I have this thing about closing cupboard doors (whether they are fully open or just by a bit) i can't just walk away or leave it open without panicking.
Following the idea of intrusive thoughts, I experience such thoughts and often find myself doing small repetitive patterns to prevent myself from acting on such thoughts. This leads to the anxiety where in I would not be able to perform such a ritual and instead of the ritual act on the thought. So, in anxiety at the horrible thought I just had as I would never commit it, I try to solve the smaller issue at hand. I compulsively rub my hands on my pants, very hardly, five times. Most people with OCD do patterns of three but I like fives. Mostly, my OCD stems from preventive patterns. A couple of bad relationships, apparently an eating disorder and a slew of allergies have triggered anxieties that require a lot of work. My therapist is optimistic though, as am I that I will be better eventually; until then I just hope that I will never have another panic attack again, during a test.
Mine also tended to change based on what I cared about. It always attached itself to something most valuable to me and attacks the mind. Of course, it might just be my mindset and not actual OCD, which is what I think of it as now. Maybe both. And it would go in circles and when I got rid of one OCD pattern, another would emerge shortly after the calm. Like Sin in Final Fantasy X. I have an extremely unique mind, so I'm probably different from the rest, but now I feel if I don't think a certain thing/way, then everything will have no more meaning. I can't explain those details, it's too complicated. But it makes sense in my head. Here is a fantastic video: [YOUTUBE]nRChZGLcGCk[/YOUTUBE] It is a living nightmare. It is very painful. I'm glad you want to add it to your book, I'd love to see more representations of it in art. I thought Glee's portrayal of it was good. Especially the scene with her parents where it triggers her. And this is after she took pills. (Cognitive-bahavioral therapy seems to be the best solution.) When Will sings "Fix You" to her.
I can't explain it. It's just like this weird mental itch, and until whatever causing it is fixed it won't go away.
