I had a huge crush on a straight guy. It was through him where I found out I was bisexual. We used to argue and he called me all sorts of nasty names but "faggot" was the most common one. We got a long later. I haven't come into contact with him. So far, all these memories of what he said and did to me keep coming back and just get angry and start hating him in my head again. He scarred me with that awful word too. It's hard to accept an apology you've never gotten But I want to just forgive him and forget that awful things he did. Help someone :help:
Whenever someone who I am close to hurts me(really hurts me) , if he apologizes and means it then I will give him a second chance but 2 is it. One guy that I gave a second chance to did the same shirt he did the first time so I walked to him and said fuck you. That did the trick... Haven't thought about talking to him since. Not sure if any of this applies to you or not but that's my way.
What helped me in similar situations was that forgiveness is something you give for your own sake, for your own healing. We cannot heal from past wounds if we carry the hurt with us like luggage. Sometimes we simply have to accept that other people`s faults and mistake has hurt us. Either because of ignorance, temper issues, stupidity, or for other reasons, people has hurt us, and people will hurt us in the future. However, their flaws and faults, are their own. It is something that will hurt them as much as it hurts us. Your friend`s bad behavior has cost him a good friend. Unless he learns from it, his faults will continue to cost him friendship and compassion in the future. Pity him for that, but remember that you need to think about what is good for YOU. What is healthy, and right, for you! It might be letting this friend go. It might be not keeping him in a position to hurt you. He might not be able to help himself. He might not be able to change yet. But try to forgive what he has done, and remember, it is his fault, not yours. Everything he said was because of his negative sides, not yours. And forgive him for your own sake, so that you can move on and heal, not because you want him back into your life, or because you think you have to in order to be a good person. Forgive him so that you can heal. *Big hug!*
