Old Crushes

Well I wonder what mental state I was in when I was completely in love with a girl. I cried over her, text her 32423423 times a day and just wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. The thought of dating a girl now is just laughable. I think I was maybe just desperate to be loved at the time...and she was my first kiss.

 

There is one bloke that I did have a very, very very mild crush on.

I don't know if you would even call it a crush. It's not like I thought about him much, but when ever I did see him I would sometimes think 'oh, I wouldn't say no if he offered'. Later discovered his personality and found out he was the most annoying and arrogant person on the face of the Earth. Despite that, I still usually thought 'meh, still wouldn't say no, hate sex sounds fun'.

Looking at him now though is almost vomit inducing shame haha. What was I thinking.

 

I went out with a guy and I regret it more than anything I've ever done. I really liked him at the time, but I don't see how now. He's a douchebag.

 

Lets see...I had a crush on one of my friends that ended up dating another one of my friends for 2 years in high school until he figured out he was gay. During the time she was dating him, I liked him, but then when we figured out he was gay I lost my chance with him because I'm a girl so I gave up on it. I had a crush on a girl that's been my friend since middle school, but the fact that I had a crush on her was blocked out of my mind because at the time I was still figuring out about myself and my dad was (and is still) homophobic. Then something happened between me and her where we had a big fight and she said some things that made me not trust her. We made up and are still friends, but I don't trust her. Then I had a crush on another guy that was really sweet but creepy (but I liked his creepyness). He moved away before I got to know him better though. We did almost get to go to prom together, but his dad was an abusive jerk and came up with every reason so that we couldn't go.

 

The last real crush I had was on a girl back in school, she turned me down That was was before I had any idea that I'm more than likely gay though.

We still get on well now though which is great

 

IIIII remember my first couple boycrushes vividly. I have no idea what I saw in the first one 6 or something years ago. He's an unappealing person all around nowadays and I never talked to him much back then either. My second's still pretty cute, If he were to offer anything today I certianly wouldn't turn him down, though I'm much less into him then I was before. Same goes for #3.

Otherwise there was this guy I met over the internet one time who thought he was head over heels in love with me and I appreciated all his kind sentiments so much that I believed myself to feel the same. Though we knew virtually nothing about each other the whole time aside from a select few common interests. And looking back many things he said and did were really recklessly bold and stupid flatly put. Technically we were dating at the time, or at least claimed to be. But since we never shared any qualities I feel like a real relationship should have, I don't consider him as my first boyfriend. It's more like the whole time we were only really in love with the idea of being in love and persued each other just for the sake of convenience. So in the end it goes down as a mutual misunderstanding of a crush ~ which at this point is hard for me to understand how I could have once had. Oh well, live and learn I guess.

 

I have had many crushes. And quite a few on EC. Some of them I made obvious, others not.

Though my heart still goes a pitter pat for the Walrus. And Ben. And Ty.

 

I used to have a small crush on a girl in middle school who I thought was really cute. Now I have no idea what I was thinking. She's really hyper and girly, which is something I don't find attractive. Being hyper every now and then is fine, but her level of hyper was obnoxious. Being a bit femme doesn't bother me either, but this girl was hoochie. Turns out she's also a whore, which is the biggest turn-off I could ever imagine. I think I liked her because, at the time, she wore skater clothes and was kinda quiet at first. But then we became friends and I realized she wasn't my type at all, lol.

 

My first major crush was on a guy who lived on my floor in my dorm during my first two years of college, after which he graduated. We became really good friends, and being that he had mild Asperger's Syndrome like myself, I felt like we were on the same wavelength in a way I'd never experienced with anyone else (and haven't since). I didn't think he was particularly cute when I first saw him, although I did think he was the cutest out of everyone on the floor. When when I first heard his voice, which was somewhat stereotypically gay, my feelings grew stronger, to the point where I did ask him out. He didn't feel the same way about me, but I still felt really close to him. Honestly, I think I fell for the guy so hard I was actually in love.

After he graduated, we kept in contact briefly via email, but that fizzled out fairly quickly, and since he doesn't have a Facebook account, we couldn't keep in touch that way, so we haven't talked for a year and a half now. Now that he's graduated and I've moved on, everyone who knew him tells me that I can do much better. And to their credit, they're probably right. Though he and I connected on a level I'd never experienced before, he was also something of a shut-in, as well as that socially maladjusted kind of nerd, and I really don't need someone in my life who will encourage the kind of behavior in myself. Still, if he came back into my life and said, "You still want to be more than friends?", I probably would say yes.

Then there was the guy that I met at a friend's graduation party that I DID actually end up dating (YAY!). My crush on him was more during the pre-dating phase of our friendship, because when we did start dating, he said he really wasn't at a point in his life where he could commit to a relationship (he had just gotten out of a really bad one), so I was able to temper my feelings and not feel too much more for him than was warranted by the circumstances. But things fizzled out between us, mostly because of the distance after I went back to school. And though I didn't really feel too strong of an emotional connection to him while we dated, after it ended, I started to really miss him, mostly because we did actually have something.

Do I regret it? Absolutely not. He had a lot of qualities that I found really admirable and wanted to emulate, and by emulating them, I became a much more spontaneous person and much less stiff, and way more open to new experiences. He also introduced me to a lot of new music and taught me how to find new music on my own, and that latter lesson has brought so much new music into my life that I don't know if I can ever repay him for it. (Music, in case you couldn't tell, is a big deal to me.) Plus he was really tender and self-less under the sheets, which gave me a good idea of what sex should be like. I couldn't have asked for a better person to punch my V-card.

And then there was the third one. He's a regular at my college's tutoring center, and we got along pretty well. I asked early on if he liked guys, which he didn't, so that put that possibility out of my mind (or so I thought) and we eventually became friends due to how often he came to see me for math help. But through our friendship, my feelings for him eventually grew stronger, to the point where I really fell for him, even though I knew he was "off limits". Plus, certain things he did made me doubt whether he really didn't date guys. So eventually I came clean that I wasn't as over him as I thought I was, and he was cool with that, saying he knew what it was like and would do whatever it took to help me deal with it. That did it, thankfully, and now he's back to being just a friend in my book.

And like my second crush, I don't look back on it and ask, "What was I thinking?" He was really nice, really charming, and cute to boot. Plus he's turned into a great friend now that we're past all that.

Man, talking about all this has brought back a lot of feelings... not all of them pleasant... I think it's time for some Lady Antebellum.

 

I mostly had crushes on celebs growing up! Its actually a funny transition. Notice how the boys get more feminine and I finally realize, hey - I like girls! Haha check it out...

Corbin Bleu from High School Musical (the guy with an afro)
Michael Jackson (the Thriller era)
Adam Lambert
(Now it transitions to girls)
Rihanna
Samantha Ronson
Audrey Hepburn
Ellen DeGeneres (I know shes 50!! Geez)
Ruby Rose
My girlfriend at the time, Angel
My current requited crush, Tobi (shes amazing!)

Haha funny how that transition took place!

 

I had an enormous crush on a guy at school from being probably as young as 11, he was insanely good looking and just happened to develop the body of a God by the time he was 15. He caught me full on staring at him one day in the changing room after P.E. I didn't really know what to expect him to say but I think he suspected I was gay and he was actually a really nice guy so he kind of just gave me a sly smile as he walked away.

 

Can I ask what u mean by "mental state"

 

Ooohhhh probly not lol

 

I just look back on the guy and I'm like I was in love with you, I did some pretty fucked up things because of you, I went into depressive spells on several occasions because of you;

what the fuck was wrong with me?

He's arrogant, not particularly attractive, manipulative, attention seeking, and treated me like shit for years.

I would have given anything to be with him back then, and now I'm so glad I didn't (even if he's the only thing remotely close to somebody being interested in me that I've ever had)

 

I keep crushing on the baseball players at the community college I was going to while working on the basics of my Bacholers. we had some really sexy, make-your-pants-fit-tighter, broad shouldered, amazing smile, jizzed-in-mah-pants baseball players.

 

Yep, I remember my first real crush. I was incredibly shy during high school, so one of my friends ended up telling him that I was interested. He told me he just wanted to be friends, and I respected that. He's moved across the country now so I haven't talked to him in a good two and a half years, but if he were to come back and ask me out (not that I think he would, mind) I would definitely say yes. There's always that person of the opposite gender who will do it for you, and he was that person for me.