do you believe in phases?

Yes, I do think you can go through phases.

However, if you've thought about it for a long time, come to a conclusion, and then actually come out.. I think you must be pretty sure, and it's probably not a phase.

 

Perhaps for some people, but I don't think so.

 

I don't know to what degree sexuality can change, but I'm sure the way it is experienced can be changed. So the phenomenon of "phases", defined as someone identifying differently from how they once did, can happen. I've seen it happen in people before, in fact.

That said, I think the word "phase" is usually used in a dismissive way, and I don't think that's a good thing. I'm of the opinion that we should respect people's chosen labels without question, unless their own descriptions of their experiences don't match their label (in which case its a matter inconsistency, not of "I know what's going on in your head better than you do."). But if someone says, "This is my experience and that's why I identify this way," even if they have a new experience later that makes them identify in a new way, I don't think that invalidates their identity now. People change, and labels change with them; we shouldn't dismiss that phenomenon with a word like "phase".

 

I said no, but that's not to say that bisexuals don't sometimes feel more attracted to men and sometimes more attracted to women.

 

I really hope not. I am not out to many people yet but I am convinced I am gay. That would be devastating for me to maybe wake up one day and realize I'm straight. I love loving guys

 

My opinion is that a person's sexuality doesn't change, but that it can take some people a long time to figure out what their sexuality is and come to terms with it. They might identify as one thing and then later on label themselves as something different once they get things figured out. I labeled myself as straight at first just by default, then switched that label to lesbian when I realized I was attracted to girls, then to bisexual when I fell in love with a guy. My sexuality did not change, but my labels for my sexuality changed as I discovered what it was.

 

i went through a phase where i was strictly lesbian, and refused to date guys.
and then i dated a guy.
i went through a phase where i was straight.
and then i saw gwyneth paltrow and my whole idea of sexuality was thrown off.
i went through a phase where i thought i wanted to be a boy.
then i wanted to wear a dress and i had to reconsider what sexuality and gender actually meant.
some may not consider them phases because i stuck within the lgbtq spectrum to some degree. but you go all over the place trying to figure yourself out.
if you are gay for a phase and realize that's not quite accurate, and hey, you are straight, well, at least you know one more thing about yourself.

couldn't have said it any more accurately

 

I agree with this 100%. I think we need to stop treating "phases" as a bad thing. Sure, things might change later, or they might not. Either way should be perfectly acceptable. Figuring out your sexuality is hard enough without society telling you that uncertainty is bad and must be avoided at all costs because otherwise you're just going through a phase.

 

This is the same thing I think. I'd HATE to wake up straight being gay is wonderful XD

 

Yes, phases are possible. However, I don't think they are really so frequent as parents hope, and I really don't think parents should dismiss things so readily.

 

I think we grow, as people.

I don't believe in the "oh, this is just a phase" sexuality. I think the only way to describe those times is afterwards.

Some people might experiment - some might just have some fun. But I don't like the negative connotations of "oh, you are just in a phase."

---------- Post added 28th Dec 2012 at 12:55 AM ----------

Totally Agree! There is so much more to this. Because phases aren't seen, in our culture, as passages or a growing experience. It is more of a "oh, crappy crap, my kid might be gay. Hope it is just a phase."

Phases aren't necessarily bad for people. We all grow. I am different, in ways, than I was in middle school, and then high school. We all are. And that is good. But the negativity and the bad vibes that phrase sends out need to go away.

 

I voted yes.

I went from predominantly heterosexual. I will admit that I always had same-sex feelings, but (unless I suppressed them, which I don't think I did) I always seemed to prefer girls.

I then identified as asexual for a year and a half. Again, this was not suppression I don't think, I simply lost all interest in everyone. I mean everyone. I didn't watch porn, everything to do with sexual contact felt foreign and alien to me and I didn't *like* anyone. I've had people tell me 'oh you probably suppressed it because you didn't want to deal with being bisexual', but honestly that infuriates me so much. I already have a pretty low sex drive, and for a year and a half it went from being already low to non-existent. I don't see what's suppressive about that conclusion? >.>

And then during this year, my sex drive came back but for guys only. At this point I concluded I was gay and told a few people.

But lately (October or so), I've started liking girls again. At first it was still a deeper attraction to men and a mild attraction to women, but it's evening out now and I would say I like them both equally now.

So I don't know if I would say it's a phase, but I definitely believe that sexuality can be more fluid for some individuals and cannot simply be set into confined boxes of 'you are either hetro, homo or bi. Choose now'. xD

 

voted maybe for some people maybe they do go through phases and eventually find themselves. For me personally though Ive known I was gas understood i was different .

 

I don't believe that homosexuality/bisexuality are developmental phases, though I do believe they are to a certain degree fluid. That is to say, I don't think being gay is ever "just a phase" in a kids development, since there is no psychological or biological reason why someone would become gay then truly grow out of it, repress it maybe, but it doesn't make sense to just be some "phase". The other uses of that term are also usually wrong, since the body rarely undergoes major temporary changes, then undoes them after a short period of time. Additionally, the term "phase" implies that being homosexual/bisexual is purely a biological drive, but my belief is that it's a combination of genetic mutations causing one to undergo the same biological processes of mate-attachment for the same sex as one does for the opposite. However, I think there also has to be a psychological component; that you are able to accept those urges and embrace them, opening yourself to an intimate relationship with the same-sex. I think that a lot of people might be bisexual biologically, but since you can be attracted to both genders, they can easily repress their homosexual urges in favor of heterosexual relationships. Homosexuals on the other hand are much morel likely to confront their sexuality, since they get no satisfaction from heterosexual relationships.

Now, as for psychological-gender, I do believe that is sometimes "just a phase". I don't mean to downplay the legitimacy of transgender people, since I believe that if you're a teenager/adult, chances are whatever gender you feel will stick with you for a long time. However, in the case of young children, it's fairly normal for them to experiment with their gender, some more than others. I recall that I used to like to play dress-up and wear a dress. I never seriously thought of myself as a girl, but I always had this thing for pretending to be one. As I grew older, it integrated itself more deeply into my personality, and as such, I see myself as masculine, but with a twist of femininity. Children will usually to some degree experiment with gender-expectations, some will go as far as frequently acting like the opposite gender, to the degree you'd be convinced the kid is going to grow up to be trans. Then they just suddenly change back to their biological gender and never question again.

I think it's a healthy part of development, that allows kids to explore different parts of their psyche, making for healthier mind when they've grown older.

 

I identified as straight until my early teens, I was bi at 15, lesbian at 16, trans and pansexual at 17. I think you grow and your feelings do change a bit. But my orientation has been quite stable for years now so I'm pretty sure that I will always like girls. But since I identify as a guy I'm not a lesbian anymore. Things change and so do your emotions. Just relax and see where it goes. I wasted way too much time trying to label myself!

 

I never went through a phase.

I remember having some girl crushes, purely emotional.

And having VERY strong emotional attachments to guys.
Until one time, I can still remember feeling like my world just shattered. I think I was 13 maybe, I was having "trouble thinking" about girls while having my "special time" and I went "hey I'll try thinking about a guy" and It fit. From then on my sexual attractions became clearer. Followed by years of hiding it.