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how do you identify?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by hmph, Dec 30, 2012.

  1. hmph

    hmph Guest

    i guess i am aiming this question towards anyone who doesn't fall under the categories male, female, intersex, MtF, or FtM.

    i'm just curious to see how others (genderqueer, gender neutral, both, a third gender?) identify/express their gender.
    what pronouns do you prefer? are there days where you are more masculine, and others more feminine, or is every day neutral for you? and i guess anything else you can come up with. just tell me about yourself, i'm curious

    also, MtF and FtM members of course answer if you want, i just assume transgender individuals to identify strictly with one gender, not in between. i know that's not always accurate.


    myself: i guess i'd just call myself genderqueer. somewhere in between. i don't really care what pronouns are used, but i love being called sir. i hate when people call me "miss", "lady", "ma'am". no no nooooo. usually i am pretty neutral but there are days i feel more masculine, and others more feminine, and i like to express that in how i dress. yadda yadda yadda
    also i tend to like calling myself a boy, either for kicks or because i'm more comfortable with that than girl. i am unsure.
     
    #1 hmph, Dec 30, 2012
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 30, 2012
  2. samizer0313

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    I'm genderfluid but I'm only out to like a few people on that part so I can't really tell anyone that there is a reason that I would rather be called Sam but it really doesn't matter what pronoun for me, even though I'm more neutral usually.
     
  3. Owen

    In Loving Memory Full Member

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    I identify as agender. I'm not a fan of the term "gender neutral", because to me, it sounds like a term you use to describe things, not people. Things like toys, perfumes, and other things that are often gendered. I dunno, it's just personal preference.

    I don't particularly care about pronouns. I've been referred to by male pronouns, female pronouns, and gender-neutral pronouns, and none of them felt and more or less appropriate than the others. I will say, though, when someone goes the extra mile to refer to me with gender-neutral pronouns, that sticks out in my mind as them going the extra mile for me, and I appreciate it.

    Most of my days are generally neutral. I don't really have masculine and feminine days, just good and bad days, with bad days being the days when I'm reminded just how big I am and how hard it is for me to present in a truly neutral way. I'd feel way more comfortable in a female body that was a head shorter and way skinnier, with my hair cut short in some gender-neutral style. I actually have a female-assigned agender friend who has exactly the body I wish I could have. I'm kinda jealous of her, not gonna lie. :dry:

    But hey, you gotta work with what you have. To that end, I grow my hair out long and take care of it so it's more like womens' long hair than mens' long hair (nothing against men, but most of the guys I know with long hair don't take particularly good care of it, and it shows). I also wear a kilt, partly because they're more comfortable than shorts/pants, but mostly because I think it suits me more than shorts/pants. The only reason I don't wear a dress is because the kilt I wear has a lot of pockets, enough to make cargo pants jealous. I used to wear cargo pants and shorts back before I switched to kilts, so I'm dependent on having that pocket space.

    It's helped, certainly. I feel way more confident and comfortable with myself since I started presenting more ambiguously. But it still doesn't feel quite right. My height and my build give me away as a male-bodied person, so I'm still subjected to the same gender norms I wish I could escape. Suffice to say I'm a gentle giant, and I wish people could see me that way. What really bugs me is when people I don't know call me "Big Guy". Ugh, way to point out the two things I most wish I could change about myself.

    But I have more good days than bad, and if nothing else, the fact that I am so big means that people generally don't give me grief for how I present (they only ever have the guts to do it from a moving car), probably because I have a stature that makes it look like I could mess them up if they say it to my face. So I'm grateful for that.
     
  4. BoiGeorge

    BoiGeorge Guest

    Hmph-youve taken the words right out of my mouth! I feel inbetween genderqueer and ftm. I dont want to become a 'full' boy like with a penis or anything. All i want is top surgery and maybe T or something. But i like society to see me as a boy because thats how I see myself. I still have quite feminine qualities like being maternal and stuff, but I see these 'soft' qualities as something to be treasured not something that I want to dispose of. So i dunno. Im not a full ftm but im more in touch with my masculine side. So im gonna say im somewhere.inbetween genderqueer and ftm. But i still use the word transgender to describe myself because trans covers a range of gender identities.
     
  5. returning

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    I'm pangendered, and as for pronouns, im not out as pangender, so im called "he". I think I prefer "Ze'' though
     
  6. MidnightOwl

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    I'm Pangender as well. I often times feel male or female, but am genderfluid depending on my relationship. Often times my online persona is that of the default gender, which would be male so I don't mind. Though I myself do not use any gender based pronouns. And wouldn't ask someone to do the same. Though even still I'm not particular fan of "sir" "mr" "mrs" "ma'am", etc. I actually liked the pronoun Mx, which I thought was cool. Mx. Midnight Owl. ahahaha. Though I definetely like the pronoun Ze.
     
  7. BradThePug

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    OMG.. 3 pangender people in a row.. I never thought that I would see this day..

    Anyway.. I identify as pangender. I sometimes feel like I am male or female. I also at times feel that I am agender or just not in the binary at all. I don't really care what pronouns people call me. Some people use masculine pronouns, some use feminine pronouns and some use gender netural pronouns with me.
     
  8. hmph

    hmph Guest

    hm thats interesting because i have always thought it is easier for female born people to present as a man/more masculine. for the same reasons you gave, body shape, size, structure.

    i know once at some point on probably tumblr someone was ranting about the fact that neither transition (FtM or MtF) is easier. but i really do disagree with that. and it's unfortunate. i feel like people would be more comfortable around MtFs as long as they couldnt tell that they are male born. but its hard to hide this because the body structure is so much different between these two genders.

    me for example, i guess i'll just always have the body of a twelve year old boy. but i can still present as male easier than my taller, more muscular male friends.

    i dunno, i wish people werent so stuck up with this idea that boys are boys and girls are girls but i guess everyone has that same wish.
     
  9. SplitMyWishbone

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    I am curious. I suppose you would consider me a grandfather figure because of my age. When I came out in 1983, I moved to San Francisco and lived there until 1992. I was there when GRID (HIV/AIDS) started and lost lots of friends. Back then we were only LGBT community. I admit since then I'm familiar with LGBTQ but am not familiar with much of what you are identifying as, particularly intersexual. Is the genders you refer to yourselves as considered the 'intersex'? thanks for helping me appreciate these terms.
    Rick (an old fart)
     
  10. Eatthechildren

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    I'm unsure of how to label myself totally... So I'm sticking with Genderqueer for now. The last few days the label that's fitted me best has been Transmasculine Genderqueer, with Agender moments. I'd like to wait more time before picking a specific label though.
     
  11. mickjagger

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    I am a questioning male. I don't know if I am straight or gay. I think emotionally straight but physically gay. As if things couldn't get more confusing...