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Hard Femme?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by vennligst, Dec 30, 2012.

  1. vennligst

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    Hey ladies, (and gents and the folks that fall betwwen I suppose since y'all could have the same situations but anyways) question for you:

    How many of you identify as hard femme?
    By hard femme I mean feminine presenting, but with a more masculine edge. Jackie Wang published a zine on being hard femme (http://www.qzap.org/v5/gallery/main.php?g2_view=core.DownloadItem&g2_itemId=1623) Urban Dictionary defines hard femme as "Not to be mistaken with the typical femme, the "hard femme" describes herself as "queer", is political, looks more feminine than masculine, and if prompted, can kick some serious ass. She doesn't need to "wear the pants" in a relationship- the hard femme rules with a dress. She not only despises the gender binary, she works to dismantle it."

    So I'm wondering who here finds themselves to be hard femme and any struggles them come across when finding a way to identify between the spectrum of femme and butch.
     
  2. myheartincheck

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  3. vennligst

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    Oh I'm a huge fan of thought catalog! Thanks for posting that link :slight_smile:
     
  4. myheartincheck

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    You're totally welcome! I found it to be quite humorous. :wink:

    And I've been a hard femme for as long as I can remember... but just know found out there was a term for it... :confused:
     
  5. Anthemic

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    That's me! I will cut a b*tch. o-o
     
  6. Suffocation

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    Oh yes you will :eusa_danc !
     
  7. Cinci

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    is the whole thought catalog thing somewhat true? Cause if so that is quite depressing. I was hopeful that gay bars (when I'm actually allowed to go into them sigh) would not have just incredibly plastered people in it and would be more of a place to meet and hang out with other lesbians
     
  8. Thieves

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    I love hard femmes -- feminine women with a hard edge. It can be hard to pinpoint what exactly is 'hard' about them, but it's sexy as hell. :icon_redf :icon_redf

    Then again, I think I pretty much may be one myself. I wear light make up and wear fairly girly clothes at times, and at other times I'm more 'casual'. However, I get the feeling that people usually sense something being 'different' about me compared to other straight girls. And now that I just read this thread, I suppose that could be a certain masculine/edgey touch. It could have something to do with how I talk, or my mannerisms, I'm not sure. I've been told I have a 'hard walk' before though, and the man who said it didn't seem to mind, but I still don't know what the hell it actually means...
     
  9. vennligst

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    Cinci, I doubt that this is really how gay bars are populated, I think Mila was just making a joke about the archetypes that one finds there.

    Thieves, hard femme is sexy as hell. I think it's cause you know that they're completely capable/confident and at the same time can be that sweet, feminine girl that your parents like :]
     
  10. Anthemic

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    [​IMG]
     
  11. Thieves

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    M'hmm. I'm sure that if I met one in real life that I clicked with, I'd pretty much turn into a puddle right then and there. :lol:

    Which has me wondering... Are there any 'celebrities' or well-known women who come off as hard femmes to you guys? I'm trying to think of some, but I'm having a hard time coming up with a few right now. Angelina Jolie came to my mind when I first read the description, even if she's not exactly lesbian, but she is supposedly bisexual. :grin: :slight_smile:
     
  12. Klutz

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    I usually wear heels (to the pint people comment on the times that I don't) but can also run in them and do so when I feel like it. I wear makeup and paint my toenails. I spend 3 hours in the bathroom when I decide to take bubble baths. I also shoot guns, am a rabid football fan, and have an engineering degree. I play a full contact co-ed sport and love it when I'm underestimated because I'm a cute girl and get to whollop someone to teach them a lesson. So, I guess this would fit me quite well.

    My first thought of celebs was Angelina Jolie, also. Then Catwoman in The Dark Knight Rises. To me, their orientation is irrelevant, because I think that the presentation of the self on the (stereotypical) masculine<=>feminine spectrum is independent.
     
  13. Ianthe

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    Angelina Jolie is an out, open bisexual. She has spoken openly of her bisexuality on numerous occasions, and has had relationships with women in the past. There is no reason to doubt her affirmation that she is bisexual. Her marriage to a man does not negate her sexuality.

    I think it's fine to identify a bisexual woman as a femme. Many of the women who self-identify with "femme" call themselves queer rather than lesbian anyway--they may date both cis and trans men, and genderqueer people, and so forth.

    In different films, I've seen her all over the map in terms of gender expression. With celebrities, it's hard to know what their gender expression would be if they didn't have to present a certain kind of image for their careers. I had sort of a thing about her in Hackers, and she wasn't very femme in that. I see her as kind of enjoying androgyny and fluidity in gender expression, rather than really feeling solidly masculine or feminine.
     
  14. Thieves

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    I agree, and perhaps it was the way I worded it, but I didn't mean she was 'supposedly' bisexual as in I didn't believe she actually was/is. What I meant by that was that, while I know of her and her bisexuality, I haven't read up on her extensively so I was unsure of her orientation. I do recall seeing her openly talking about her bisexuality before and dating women when she was younger, but that was a long time ago, and I wasn't sure if she still personally identifies as bisexual or not. I don't really keep up to date with many celebrities all that much to be sure of something like that. And of course her marriage to a man doesn't negate her sexuality. That was the last thought on my mind. Apologies if it came off that way, as I've identified before (and still might) as bisexual and don't wish to misrepresent it. :slight_smile:

    And it's funny you mention the word 'queer', because for a long time I've thought that out of all words, that was the one I felt most comfortable with. I'm still struggling to figure it out, though, so I guess we'll see...
     
  15. aeva

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    Absolutely. I love the term hard femme, and that is most definitely how I identify, as well as who I'm looking for!

    I look pretty feminine (long hair, light make-up, hourglass figure, an obsession with boots), but my interests are more masculine (video games, gore, building stuff), and I get along WAY better with guys that girls.

    I often describe my ideal woman as somebody who can change a tire in heels.
     
    #15 aeva, Jan 1, 2013
    Last edited: Jan 1, 2013
  16. vennligst

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    I might have to print this out and tape it above my bed, this is great! Speaking of queer, I never identified as queer initially, it was always just "bisexual" but I'm starting to realize that queer is a much better identity because I'm finding myself between the spectrum of my sexuality and my gender as well and it just makes more sense. I've always identified as female as I'm female assigned at birth but I was always a tomboy..I'm more feminine now then I've ever been, but I still prefer a v-neck or a tanktop and pair of skinny jeans over a dress, but paired with heels. I suppose that the inclusion of genders such as hard femme just gave me a boost of confidence that I never had because I also fell somewhere between masculine and feminine, but never wanted to be identified as butch.