Hi people, this is something that has been bothering me for a while but after last night I thought it might be a good thing to get some other opinions on before I drive myself crazy. Before I got together with my boyfriend some of our friends would occasionally greet him with a kiss on the lips and this continued when we got together. It’s not just the guys – one of my best friends is exclusively lesbian and sometimes greets him that way too. I also get kisses sometimes, but nowhere near as often, mostly it’s cheek kisses. Last night we met up to watch the fireworks and again my boyfriend received a few kisses, I don’t know if it was the glass of champagne I’d had previously but I found myself objecting more strongly than I had before. The response I got was the same as I got when I brought this up previously, that it’s normal in the gay community to kiss on the lips as a sign of platonic affection and I shouldn’t think anything of it. I don’t remember ever seeing this outside of our group of friends, but then maybe I just haven’t been paying attention. My boyfriend is very relaxed about it, as he is about almost everything else, he says that it’s just their way of being friendly and there’s a difference between a friendly kiss and the way he kisses me, even if both are on the lips. So my question is… do you or would you ever kiss someone on the lips with anything other than romantic intentions? Is this a “gay thing” as they say or are my friends just making it up to suit them?
I would talk to your boyfriend about it and tell him how you really feel (i would feel extremely uncomfortable, as i have never seen anything like that)! I honestly have never heard of a "platonic kiss on the lips" kissing on the lips is a ROMANTIC intention, i don't even kiss my mom on the lips!
I dont kiss random people on the lips. Thats a bit odd... I reckon chatting to him about this will help. Thats not a 'gay' thing that I've ever seen before!
We've talked about it many times, he just doesn't think it's a big deal. I guess if I have some evidence that actually it's not a 'gay thing' then maybe I have grounds for seriously asking him to make them stop, but I don't like to be the serious one of the group. It seems a bit silly to get so annoyed over what amounts to a half a second kiss, but that's where I am.
let him know how this makes you feel, it may be a little thing for him, but it hurts your feelings when it happens. Be totally honest with him why you don't want this going on, try to convey to him how you feel. From what i see you seem to really love him, and this isn't just a "fling" to you, honestly that's all i'd tell him, other things may just muddy the water. p.s. please keep us informed because we care
I have a friend who is in her 40s now, she grew up with alot of gay friends (shes straight herself) and anyone she considers to be a close friend, she will kiss on the lips. Male or Female. Its just her way of showing her love to her friends, its possible she picked this up from her gay friends growing up. I also used to have a few friends and we'd always kiss, usually when drunk. All my mates would get lary and shout for me to get in there, but we were just friends and kissed on the lips. But im not out to them, so its not really a gay thing there.
I've seen this as a "gay thing" on TV but not in person. The cheek kiss is usually what's done. I'd talk to him about it and explain how uncomfortable it makes you.
I wouldn't say its a gay thing, but i see some gay groups doing it, but my gay friends don't. I personally think that kissing on the lips is going way too far anyway, especially if you have a boyfriend. Even among straight couples that wouldnt seem right, at most it would be a sort of cheek kiss, but then even this doesnt too often actually involve kissing on the cheek. You have a right to be annoyed. You should speak to your bf, if its making you feel uncomfortable regardless if its part of the gay community or not he should accommodate that.
