Hmm... the title might be a little off... I've seen many people on EC that have come out as gay, but not trans... I was wondering if anyone came out as trans first... Sorry about all of the "...s," but... ^ | Joke
I'm not sure what you mean by this. Orientation is based off of a person's gender identity, not their biological sex. So if somebody is a bio female, but identifies as male, and they like women, they would be straight. I came out as Bi, then gay, then bigender, then pangender. So, I didn't come out as trans first. I'm sure that some people have though.
Sorry for the confusion. The way I'm interpreting gay here is how I think most people interpret it. I agree that in a perfect world, gay or straight would reference your sexuality regarding your desired physical gender, but most people think of transgender as gay.
Ok, I see what you are saying now. I wouldn't say that most people see trans=gay, but there are some people out there that do see trans=gay.
But most peeps think in my town gays are all atheists and democrats and sexaholics and like teens to recruit. Don't mean I should equate it here. Some Transmen i know on here are GAY men....they are not transitioned and have dated straight men and had been assumed straight women. That hardly woulds fit that "everybody" description. Some assume all transmen are attracted to women and are being lesbians before becoming fully male. But that aint true. ---------- Post added 3rd Jan 2013 at 01:25 AM ---------- RyRy... I have come out a lot as Transgender male, I have not told them I like a couple gay men and think I could be Bi. So I maybe fit your description a tad.
I have to disagree. Pretty much every person I've come out to that was not a member of the LGBTQ community, or at least somewhat acquainted with it through friends, has been confused when I tell them I don't really identify as a gay male but as transgender instead. Usually the response I get is, "What's the difference?" Or at the very least they don't understand that you can be trans and not gay. Usually they just equate being trans with being super mega ultra gay.
I didn't come out about it, but over my life I've shifted from liking guys, to liking both, to confirming to myself I was in fact trans, and finally settling on that I was a borderline hetero-romantic homosexual. Meaning that I am a woman and I like other women primarily, but the personality of some guys make them likeable. I wouldn't say lovers attractive but a definite more than friends likeable.
I came out as gay first because i thought i was a girl who liked girls. It was only a while later that i realized i was a guy who liked girls!
It might just be that we are in different areas. In my hometown, they could care less if somebody is transgender. We have a higher population of trans people here. So, many more people understand. At my college, most people understand as well. So, it could just be that I am in an area that is more aware of what transgender means. I had more problems coming out as gay than pangender...
Or if they don't assume I'm just a butch lesbian, which is odd enough since lesbians keep assuming this until they start thinking I'm a misogynist...then they think I'm a cute and confused tom boy who just needs more make up and get me a man to marry! It seems them women who keep insisting this are comparing me to themselves. if they are lesbians then i must be lesbian. if they are straight, then of course I'm straight...but female, always i am very very female! the one thing i come out abt is I'm a man! the one thing women of all sexualities insist upon is i am like them a woman and just confused. I can't hit a woman. DANG IT! because I'm so angry at them as not allowing me out of their realm i could take em all out with one superman punch! Men who want to bag me and are shit faces will of source say same as them ladies. But other guys don't keep harping on it...they may or may not comprehend or believe it idk, but most men are chill and women just nag on me abt it. Driving me to a monastery is what they doing.
Are you out to them? It's unreasonable to expect them to think you are a man when you haven't told them. ---------- Post added 3rd Jan 2013 at 09:01 PM ---------- Oh, and incidentally, butch women get frustrated about being taken for men or trans men, too. Except the ones who like it, because of kind of feeling like men.
Yep I did. I came out as trans at the end of June 2011 & then told my mom I was gay later that year in October...
Yes, I am out to them lesbians and straight women...that is why it infuriates me. Am I unreasonable now?? They don't care what I say, they know better...I am female cuz they are.