Are Women Self-Conscious Over Femininity/Masculinity Too?

yes.
often times i will wear make-up solely to express a sense of femininity, despite hating wearing it.
if i am in a room with all nicely done up girls, always, always i feel self-conscious, embarrassed, uncomfortable. etc. though take into consideration i am very irrational, paranoid, and think the worst possible. i don't feel right being so feminine, but it is a struggle to feel comfortable when everyone thinks i should be a girl, especially since i'm kinda dainty (i'm not athletic or what you could consider a tom boy, so i don't get to look like a 'tom boy').

like if i were not to be feminine, then i feel as though i'd just be dirt. worthless, like no one would ever want me, look at me, desire me, be sexually attracted to me, because i'm not sexy or girly.

 

I really don't feel self conscious until my mother brings up the lack of femininity i show..im comfortable about how i dress until she brings a dark shadow on it. I don't dress totally like a guy but jeans and a t shirt with a few accessories are fine with me. I dont like wearing dresses unless its sunday service and i wore skirts for years going to a private school..i dnt like them...

However i do think society tells us to be a certain way with our selves because apparently everyone else is looking at us. I do think the pressures from the Media as well as others makes it harder for someone to just enjoy how they are how they dress..etc.

 

As I see myself as both masculine and femine I like to embody both genders. But this has caused some discourse. My father believes in order for society to accept me that I should bend to their will and conform by dressing in woman clothes and being a woman. To present myself as a woman. But that always makes me feel well, it makes me feel ugly and unattractive. And I don't want that. It's a struggle between the balance of feeling both comfortable being both masculine and femine, while still maintaining a piece of who I am.

 

society always pressures both genders into conforming to 'masculine' or 'feminine' traits

 

I'm generally ok with it unless I'm totally surrounded by girls who are talking about makeup and clothes and how important they are and then I feel really awkward. But most girls don't have a problem with me being "manly" because I'll do the things they don't want to do like carry stuff.

 

wow! so girls really feel a pressure to be made up? i hate make up even on women. think abt it: lipstick has cochineal extract which is a bug blood, then this chemical buggy gut stuff is thickly applied to lips, then the woman eats a mcD burger, lipstick is all over the bun, and she eats it! GROSSSSS!! Here, let me get a big stck of that lipstick and you can chow it down.

Girls, if you want me to kiss you, don't have on greece paint. Have soft skin and clean face...that is all I want.

When'd women and teens do that, why do girls find boys disgusting?

 

I agree. I also find make up a very unecessary and disposable thing. However, I'm only speaking as a gay man, which means I won't be attracted to women with make up over the non-wearing others. If I was straight, maybe this would change. However, I feel that wjen you are young, you are always beautiful, and if you don't appear to be so, it's because of facial features that won't change when make up is on.

Which is better, to hide wrinkles and acne with make up or to actually try to make the acne stop or accept the fact that you are getting older and that its a part of life? I admire women who keep their hair gray when they age, instead of dying it like the vast majority.

 

When I lived elsewhere and the entire lesbian community seemed to be made up of very masculine individuals I felt too feminine. Some of the comments from some of those ladies made me feel like the only reason I dressed/acted the way I did was to avoid being identified as a lesbian. It's left me feeling like I'm too girly, in both my dress and mannerisms. So I do try, at times, to be a little less of the flower loving dress wearing glitter loving girl that I am to try and feel like I'm ... I don't know actually. I want to avoid people questioning my sexuality I guess, and due to past events have gotten it into my head that if I stop being quite so girly and adopt a few more masculine traits then they won't be able to tell me what they think I really am. Silliness.

 

Being soft butch, I feel pressure to be more feminine, and more masculine, all at the same time, in very confusing ways,

 

I feel this way now. I am a girly girl. I like things that sparkle, and pretty shoes and clothes and I like feeling pretty and feminine. I like it when people tell me I'm pretty. I like shopping and cooking and trading recipes. I don't like lipstick, but I do like lip gloss and I like to have my toes done and my nails, at the nail salon. I LOVE having my hair done. So many times I've thought...does this make me not gay? But the thing is, I still like women. I like their softness and their beauty and that they are women all over. And I kind of like them being pretty and feminine too, but not always. I am also fairly thin for an old girl and sometimes I like dressing in a sports bra and a too large flannel shirt and jeans and just feeling a little more masculine, but even then, I'm still very feminine on the inside. Arrrrgh. So confusing. Why is this all so confusing?

 

I have a suitemate at uni who dyes hers black. and she somehow dyed the flooring, i see her foot print in the dark as well...and I'm not gonna pay up if they try and charge me...she did it! And its way too dark, not pretty.

 

Totally agree with you on that one!!

I've finally started to become more comfortable in who I am, and I try not to look at things as masculine and feminine. I just look at it as a way I am comfortable being. There are times though, when I'm at work and I'll feel a little out of place because the women dress more feminine. But I would prefer to be myself than to be someone I'm not, just to fit in with others. Did that for too long!

 

Nah them women will always try to make you look like them.
Lesbians want me to "stop being so complicated just be a lesbian"...and "if you are not a feminist you are a misogynist!"
Straight women want me to "stop being confused, you are just a tom boy like I used to be, wear more make up!"...They want me to be a woman not a man. Imagine them saying to Clark Kent, "Stop being Superman, your tights would be better if nylons and wear a dress...you need to admit you are a woman!"
Women seem to force upon others what they idealize...if they want you to be a woman they will try to remake you identical to themselves.
Even my best friend of 15 yrs did it. She tried to make me want babies! Nutter. She refuses to accept that in the time i knew her i was secretly male inside...and have though this was continuously since i was 10. She can't allow me to be me.
So since they likely will not let you be you, be you anyways and find better friends.

 

I think theres always pressure to be more sexually appealing to someone but i think we all show our sexiness in different ways. I dont feel sexy in a dress. I feel like im in drag and i feel awkward, despite people telling me that i look nice. I feel way sexier in jeans, a nice shirt and cons. And of course im not going to attract the typical people the media says i need to attract but thats something i like. People have to get to know me not my appearance. Its actually very liberating!

 

I don't wear any - or feel any pressure to - and I still come across as super feminine. I hate makeup, I don't like how it feels on my skin, and I think too many women disguise their natural beauty by wearing it.

 

This. Shouldn't the way we dress and the way we "Dress ourselves up" be to feel attractive and sexy?

Why is it considered not sexy if a woman wears some more masculine clothes?

 

I completely agree with george there, I personally am very self-conscious but at the same time think "screw it"

I wear mens clothes, I like the style and fit... I often find myself browsing in the mens section and feel awkward as hell...

I don't wear make up... some "friends" from school always try and convince me too and want to do a complete make-over because they don't like the "masculine" appearance/personality I give off, but hey, that's who I am and who I like to be >.<

So yeah, I feel pressured by friends, family, media, etc...
In the end I just remember I am who I am and if people can't look past an appearance then their not someone worth my time...

 

I think I feel the pressure to adhere to female gender stereotypes less than most other women, regardless of their orientation, because I was raised by a single dad who not only 'played the parts' of mother and father, but also encouraged stereotypically female and male interests. I was never really pressured to be more or less girly, I was allowed to enjoy whatever came naturally. I was also brought up around the LGBT and theater communities, both of whose members seem to blur the gender lines more than the average person.

Throw in the fact that the vast majority of my friends over the years have been male (and even the females had some more masculine interests), and I'm perfectly happy with my balance of masculinity and femininity. I look and dress pretty feminine most of the time, but tend to prefer masculine past times and male friends. I'm not really bothered by who something is meant for. If I like the way an article of clothing looks on me, I don't really care what section it came from (I have an obsession with guys sweatshirts and cargo shorts, as well as women's shoes). If an activity looks fun, I'll try it (gorey video games entice me just as much as ballet). If a product works for me, I'll use it (mens deodorant is way better than women's, but women's razors are nicer). Basically, if it feels good then I'll go for it.

I'm not over-the-top girly, or super butch. I'm an evenly split combination, but it doesn't detract from my feeling of being a powerful woman.

 

Yeah, I get that too sometimes. People think that just because I'm a female in order for me to get dressed up I have to wear a dress and makeup with high heels. I can't even remember the last time I wore a dress. It can be really frustrating sometimes!