:smilewaveHeres a somewhat interesting question. I am gay and have recently accepted it. I am very ready to date. I am 28 so I have have had multiple straight relationships, none tha t were succsesfull obviously! ha ha. Anwyway when I was in relationship with guys I was nervous and self concious and unhappy. I know part of that has to do with being gay but I am wondering what differences when you went from dating straight people to gay. (if you did date straight people)?
Hi, I found there were some profound differences between dating a man and a woman. With a man, no one ever stared, glared, or yelled at us for holding hands. With a man, there were seemingly more established protocols in place for how to act/relate. With a man, there was always this implied feeling that I would want more of a committed relationship than he would and I would have to "catch" him. With a woman, it was totally different. There was no expectation of how we would act, we were equal. There were no pre-existing "roles" to play. This made it very confusing at first. There was a greater sense of being relaxed in our conversations, because she was being a friend as well as a date. There were the shared experiences of living in a female body--very cool to be able to ask your date to loan you a tampon if needed! There was this bizarre fear of overstepping some boundaries--I KNEW this woman was gay, and yet I was still half-convinced that if I did anything like try to kiss her, she'd haul off and slap me. The things you would never dream of doing to a straight woman feel really risky at first, even with a gay date. I feel like I haven't worded this very clearly, but I do know where you're coming from. I had straight relationships only for 30 years, then started a relationship with a woman at the age of 45. Please let me know if there's anything specific I can help you with, okay? You can always drop a note onto my wall, if you want to.
Oh your awesome! Very helpful thank you, definitaly some things I hadn't thought about that you brought up. It's funny I have always had such a hard time dating and as much as I tried to make my relationships perfect they were always doomed from the begining. One thing that is really sad is that it's only recently that I realized that the person you eventually end up with is supposed to your best friend. While I was dating I was always just trying to keep up appearences and make things work! Such a nice thought. I imagine I will be asking you many questions. =)
I'd have to say that dating a female, for me, was a lot more fun, because I felt more at ease, I felt prettier (I have no idea why) and I felt more interested in the person i was with. It made it all so much easier. And I am guessing that the difference was not who I was with, but my response to and feelings about who I was with. I also dated/married/raised children with men until I was older (52 actually).
