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conversation with a friend about being bi....

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by madi, Jan 8, 2013.

  1. madi

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    I had a friend who I was going on to about how I still love my ex boyfriend.

    Him:"I don't get it. You're normally gay and really want to go for someone of the same sex unless (insert ex's name here) is involved."

    Me: I like guys and girls, but I think i like girls a little more, but that doesn't mean I can't be happy with a guy."


    Him: "Unless (insert ex's name) is involved. Then you're as straight as a titanium rod"

    Me: "I'm not straight when I like a guy and I'm not gay when I like a girl. I'm bi, and whether I like a guy or a girl I'm still bi."


    Him:"*likes guys less than girls, but has only been with one guy and can't stay away from him..., but sure likes girls more.*"

    Me:"I feel like a relationship with a girl may be more fulfilling for me in the long run. But I'm sexually and romantically attracted to both genders."

    Him: "Then why do you keep going after a guy if you like girls more?"

    ughhhh........I hate this
     
  2. jdeb1992

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    I came out to my brother... While he accepts it, he doesn't understand it at all. He seems to think I will end up deciding if I am straight or gay... I like both!
     
  3. madi

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    Exactly! I don't know how to get that through people's heads!
     
  4. Argentwing

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    Just because you eat chocolate ice cream doesn't mean you don't occasionally want vanilla.

    ^^Tell him that. It appears he can't yet fathom the possibility of liking both genders.
     
  5. madi

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    I like that way of explaining it...although then it may make it seem that I can't be monogamous because I'll get bored with chocolate and have to go get me some vanilla! Which is not how I feel personally.
     
  6. Miz Purple

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    I always find it funny that you can tell someone to name there favorite food,color,flower,music, and movies they will rattle off enough stuff to fill up 3 pages worth but when it comes to sexuality they clam up and say " no it's one or the other not both" makes no sense to me , just because I like both does not mean I secretly crave one over the other and that ill cheat on you, In my book there is no excuse for cheating no matter if I with a guy or girl I will never cheat if I wanna be with someone else, I'll break up with that person cuz more then Likley it will be about our relationship not working then about me wanting to be with another gender, and if I want to go be with another person same gender or opposite it will have nothing to do with the gender of the person it will be about who they are as a person and their personality , because that is what makes me fall in love with someone. * sigh* most people will never understand us.
     
  7. madi

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    so nice to hear people say things that describe how I feel too. I would never cheat on someone, and just because i feel slightly more attracted to women emotionally right now doesn't mean I can't fall in love with a man. I want to fall in love with a person. What's between their legs doesn't matter much to me.
     
  8. Hatsupi Kona

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    This reminds me of my bisexual friends talking to a rather homophobic friend. Lets call them Bi A, Bi B, and Joe

    Bi A - I like boys and girls
    Joe - You can only like 1 of them. You can't be both straight and gay
    Bi B - Have you even heard of the Kinsey scale?
    Joe - Yeah, you are either Kinsey 0 or 6. So which one is it?

    Having only come out to the bisexual friends, "Joe" was really pulling my nerves on this one. I don't completely understand why they can't handle the fact that anyone can like any gender, not necessarily one exclusively. In fact, I bet you could ask "Joe" what a bisexual is and he would answer "Undecided".
     
    #8 Hatsupi Kona, Jan 13, 2013
    Last edited: Jan 13, 2013
  9. FruitFly

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    I must admit I have gotten a little tired of explaining that I'm a monogamous bisexual who is far more concerned with whether I connect with my partners emotionally than whether or not they possess particular genitalia. To me it's simple, you love who you love and their gender does not dictate my sexuality.

    If I love a man, I love a man. I'll still find women attractive but the only one I will want to be with is the man I'm in love with. The same principle would hold if I fell in love with a woman. I'd find men attractive but I'd be wholly satisfied being with the woman I loved. It gets a little old to have people claiming that by falling in love with a man I'm trying to deny my homosexuality. It makes me want to ask them what part of bisexual do they not understand and why are they so insistent on forcing my love to be kept to the boxes they're comfortable with.

    Mind you, I guess it's as annoying as people saying that the good thing about bisexuals is our willingness to get involved in a threesome :rolle:. Whilst I am aware that there are many bisexuals involved in swinging/polyamory/all of that I'm not one of them. Stereotypes are silly.
     
  10. madi

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    yes yes a thousand times yes