How can the LGBT community improve?

If this forum and various other Internet outlets I've been to are decent cross-sections of the LGBT community, I don't sense effeminaphobia at all. If anything, the idea that masculinity implies chauvinism and thus homophobia seems far more pervasive. In all honesty, if you naturally conform to most of the stereotypes of your birth gender, it's almost as if it's seen as some sort of act.

 

yeah def every gay man and lesbian woman i came out to i know kept calling me sis, and she, and some insist i am really a lesbian, a girl, cuz I'm transgender and not transitioned...even though I know you can be any sexuality and trans...they do not!

but of course my biggest fear and heartache is how so many gays hate me cuz I'm Christian. It comes either in subtle ways like a "joke" or as big as saying I'm "emotional not logical" (which is double jab at gender too) and try super hard to use demeaning words to get me to join them in their hate of God, their religion of anti-Christian beliefs.

To those who don't realize what that does to me and other Queers who grew up faithful Christians and want to continue this, let me explain. If a straight person made just a joke about gays to you because you are gay and they don't like gays, how you feel? do you think you must tolerate it? do you think you should educate them on what they just did being cruel to you and so wrong? in the more extreme case, if you are Buddist or Athiest if you do not want to be called names, told you are stupid, and don't want that mean person to force their "christian faith" onto you oppressively, should you say nothing? would you feel attacked, maybe afraid of them cuz they are so angry at you, would you feel like fleeing to some place they are not and locking the door tight?

Welcome to the world of the few rare Queer Christians. We get Straight Christians who think we will become Haters of God, and desperately in trying to prevent this hurt us deeply by not accepting us as we are, not believing we still love God, or fear and shun some of us...giving us no churches to worship equally in. So we turn to the Queer community for strength and get Hated more! Because straights persecuted Queers, some left so far they now hate all Christians...this is equally wrong, but sadly destroying us!

Queers need each other, it is all we got! We need to support each other as we come out, transition, and in cases of depression to prevent suicide. But did you ever think that the anti-Christian sentiment when, continual and strong, is directed at a fellow Queer it could leave them zero hope...so they won't leave God, but may go right back into safer closet and lock the door forever??

Yup.

And others may hang themselves.

If you love all people, and want to make LGBTQ better...please think carefully both these things. Trans are not all gay, and not all Queers hate God. Love all people who are Queer, accept them and don't try to change them, you don't want the responsibility for the outcome.

 

I don't think I've ever come across effeminaphobia within the LGBT community. Some people like femme guys, some don't.

As far as Trans* issues go, I confess to being pretty ignorant until I found EC. This site has taught me so much about not only self-acceptance, but also tolerance for others.

 

yup i think loving all people in the world is the only way...for all humanity.

 

To be fair is the straight world any different? Some guys pick on 'masculine' girls, some women laugh at short men - so why should all LGBT people love each other equally?

Don't get me wrong - I believe in tolerance for all, but sadly life isn't like that.

 

We should love each other equally for the same reason that straights should too...the world is only bad because of selfishness, and lack of true brotherly love. If each person wants to be truly loved and respected, they should practice it. Love will attract...let those who are stuck up, bitchy, and full of hate and intolerance can do so alone.

 

How about the people are Bisexual trying to discount Pansexuality as a real thing because they love people too?

Seriously it's annoying. I'm not Bisexual. So stop trying to saying we're trying to discount you or that we're just Bisexuals who don't want to use the term Bisexual. Because I'm not and I'm sure others aren't as well.

The same thing you're saying we do to you, you're doing to us.

 

I just would like to get up and not see rainbows lining someone's vehicle, no pride march. Not even really the word "gay" being used much. I want it to become a passive thing. It's sad that one fucking form of sexuality is widely accepted only, where it muscles its way to the front, begging for attention. Then when someone isn't the cool shit like ~herterosexual~ it's a really big fucking deal or something and everyone spits, "oh you like DICK? Here have a hug you poor oppressed thing."

Wow I could have not done that rant

Anyway, I wouldn't mind if we didn't jump on stage and shock our audiences with a guy kissing a guy and then get pissy when these people are annoyed or appauled- hey Adam Lambert how's it goin'

Oh, by all means, be whoever you want. Just calm down and don't shove it in people's faces that you're "gay and proud!" or don't get in a tantrum when people call you by the wrong pronoun I think treating it like it isn't a big deal is the best way for everyone to adjust.

ok

 

DNB that's my point - straights don't love each other equally any more than we do - so it's not purely a LGBT problem. If anything, in my experience, the LGBT community is much more tolerant.

 

To be frank, I don't think you've read enough threads here if you think there's no effeminaphobia. I've seen a fair amount effeminaphobia here at EC, and it's only worse in a lot of other places.

I agree that it would be great if it could be a passive thing, as insignificant as being left-handed. But that's not how it is, and I think being "gay and proud!" is the only way we're going to get there. They only way we're going to make the existence of gay people an everyday part of life is if we actually do make it an everyday part of life, and we're not going to accomplish that by staying silent about it.

Also, pronoun usage is a really significant issue to a lot of members of the transgender community, and being misgendered can bring up a lot of bad memories for them. Please have a bit of compassion and don't dismiss it as "throwing a tantrum".

 

If there is one thing we as a community, the LGBT community, should know by now, it's what it feels like to be oppressed, to have something that makes up a part of who you are denied and called evil or wrong. Knowing those feelings better than anyone, we should make extra sure to take one another's feelings into account and not do it to ourselves. Our community should be a place of healing, of acceptance and understanding.

If there is one thing I could accomplish during my lifetime, it would be reconciling hard line Lesbian Feminists with Transwomen, such as myself.

Many feminists are very accepting of us, but there are those like bug brennan who are not. I just want them to understand that we care about women's issues because we are women too, that standing divided only hurts the greater cause of protecting women as well as getting rid of the stigma people receive for something as ordinary as femininity.

 

i'd like to see more awareness of the Asexual Umbrella both in the LGBT community as well as in the wider population...

it's frustrating how many people seem to think that being Asexual is either:

a) a personal choice
b) a medical condition
c) someone just trying to be special/different.

i've even heard people within the LGBT community question the validity of Asexuality as part of the LGBT movement. i've even seen people go so far as to question that discrimination or abuse could ever even happen to Asexuals. sigh.

 

I'm not dismissing it. If someone is suddenly female or neutral when it seems out of nowhere, you can't expect someone to get it right all the time. Or the first time. You have to have patience and let people adjust. Of course I didn't mention it at first, but this is practically what I meant.

Yeah. I do not mind someone being confident and proud about their gender/sexuality, I just think giving people a chance to embrace it is better than being impatient during this gradual peaking age of acceptance.

Maybe I'm just an angry person.

 

I think the LGBTQ community would do well to accept all of the varied sexualities. I know Lesbians who do not accept BI's I know some who do not accept transgender. It is sad that our rainbow umbrella can be blind or tainted in some places. I believe we are all in the fight and struggle together. It is when we divide and backbite each other that we fail.
When we want to be selective we lose strength and we lose the hear tand will to continue. Frankly I love you all as brothers and sisters and whatever lies in between or on the fringe. The LBGTQ community would do well to adopt this attitude.

 

I couldnt agree more. I have noticed plenty and have recieved some personally in my own life.

I have noticed some too, but I believe its getting better. I know many people often think 'Well that is still no excuse', and its not. But what we have to remember is that there has been quite an influx of new terms for orientation and gender in these past few years. Not to long ago at all, bisexuality was seen as the "attraction to all" orientation.

It is great that we are becoming more specific about orientation and gender, but what this can do make those who decided what they were before to either feel misplaced, or the need to adapt to these new 'terms'. We should always be accepting of whatever terms a person chooses for themselves, I'm just giving and opinion of what I have heard on why they have felt that way.

 

And I do understand their point of view. It just be nice to get more recognition.

 

Hex, if you ever meet a group of people who are perfect, please let me know, so I can sign up. Every single one us can learn something and be more tolerant. I've said before I certainly have. Seeing 13 and 14 year olds accept themselves as Trans* has taught me that if they can accept themselves, then so can I.
I don't claim to be a perfect guy, but I'm trying, like most of us.