Let's Talk About Sex

Sex is inextricably linked to love for me. I could have lost my virginity many times over at uni, but the idea was about as appealing as sticking my head into a vat of acid because I didn't know much about any of the guys. I consider myself quite lucky in that i'm still with the only person i've ever been intimate with, but for me there has to be a relationship and the expectation that it will grow and continue for me to consider taking that next step.

 

Sex, I love sex! I used to think sex was the most intimate and passionate stage of showing love between two human beings, but my views have changed, as it can also be something very casual and innsome cases, fullfilling your needs. My first time was with my current girlfriend, and it was wonderful - I don't wish anything to have been different.

 

its a way of showing someone you love them in the most intimate way.
its a release of tension.
when done right it`s the best feeling ever .

 

i think it is best with somebody you are really in love with who adores everything about you too.

but i am honest...i am fully prepared at uni if a girl gets me really wanting it, I can do her like a man! I came real close to doing with a drama mama. So I know i got 2 conflicting thoughts: 1) better to wait for marriage so she's yours, 2) go do it cuz its going to feel good and i want to fuck so badddd!

So i guess I'm stupid.

 

It's an experience that I would only share with someone I was genuinely in love with.

I'll never understand how someone could have casual sex with a person they hardly know. I used to work part time as a phone salesperson for a herbs and medicines store, and after hearing thousands of people call for STD remedies (without sparing every excruciating detail), I felt less embarrassed by the prospect of asking a potential partner about their sexual past.
People are gross and there is no cure for herpes.

 

It's something you use to wake up the neighbourhood!



I see it as just a rather messy way of couples saying they love and accept each other.

 

I think it's something you do with someone you love. I find casual sex bizarre personally. I'd only ever do it with someone I'm absolutely in love with and who feels the same in return.

 

I guess I view it as a way of connecting with someone you love on a truly vulnerable, intimate level. Whilst I have slipped away from my "only with someone I'm committed to for a lifetime" view point, I still need those emotions, that connection. That feeling that this is someone who loves you, you love them, and you both see a future together. It's something to bring you together and share an aspect of yourself that can be quite raw. It's a way of giving someone pleasure, of giving yourself completely to them. Or something.

I can't have casual sex, without the emotional connection nothing really gets my motor running; I can find them attractive, I can imagine sexual scenarios, but I lack the desire to push it further than something I think about. There's no enjoyment in sex without love for me, I tried it once after being pressured into doing something to "break the dry spell" and I felt quite sick to be honest. It was less pleasurable than going to the gym and spending an hour on the rowing machine. Without the emotional connection it's just a load of physical actions which can manipulate you into being sexually receptive but it's empty. I hate that feeling of emptiness, that it's just a way of unleashing sexual frustration.

 

To me, sex is an umbrella above about half of my whole life and I mean that for it's value not for the time frame.

Sex is a physical need and a physical addiction that has been my curse for as long as I can remember, ever present, ever haunting my relationships.

Sex is a healthy sport to practice safely. It has so many health advantages and slides in easily in most of the domains of my life.

Sex is a self-discovery into sensations and pleasure for people who want to see beyond just their little routine and needs; one way to really feel life at its fullest.

Sex is a get-together activity than can have different levels of intimacy. The production of some of the hormones that results from pleasure also gets people more peaceful and gives a feeling of love/affection, thus is a great way to get closer with someone.

Sex can also mean doing love, and that, too, has different dept levels. From the rightfully married couple to the fusioning soulmates, sex is just another way to get to the highest level of intimacy with your special someone.

What we're hearing much less about nowadays is sex as a ritual. Many spiritualities and old religions had sexual rituals as one of the means to get in contact with the divine; my own spirituality includes one of those.


In conclusion, I'm a very sensual being but more importantly, a very sexual being. Sex to me means all of the above and most often than not, a combination of the above. I have yet to meet somebody who shares my views about sex.

 

I need to have a conection to the person before I could have sex with them, and that takes time. If I need instant sex I guess I just need to take that problem in hand.

 

I think sex is just sex. Sex with intimacy is something different altogether. I have been known to use sex as a way to stifle intimacy. And I can absolutely separate sex from love. For me they are not exclusive bedmates. Everyone is different. I find great satisfaction in sex, not in my personal release but in terms of controlling the pleasure of my partner. It's a fascinating adventure, for sure. Feeling out your partner and finding their "tells". Reading their body language. I don't think it's even about the end result but more about the act of being present and in the moment with your lover.

 

my ex always said "sex is just sex" , she apparently would have sex with other girls without any emotional attachment and with all the girls she slept with , she never dated one of them which is probably why none of her relationships lasted. what a shocker.

but she is half right. physically sex is just sex , it can relieve stress or it can put more strain on you. if you have sex with someone you love , i would think its special. i never had sex with a guy or girl so i don't know but that's just my opinion. sex can be special or it can be awkward....depends on who its with and how it goes i guess haha

its so hard to talk about sex without having any experience so

 

I'm very old fashioned about sex I suppose. I prefer love to be the deciding factor in if we have sex, and I do not have ANY desire to rush into it. I could wait until someone fell in love with me, even if it took quite awhile, and I would hope vice versa. Even then, if we fell in love within months, I would wait awhile before taking that step. I'm all about delayed gratification, and making sure my partner is comfortable with me on EVERY level.

Since I was raped by my ex, I'm very regrettably not a virgin, so I can't offer that, but I will not be like him. I will make sure my partner is 1,000% ready for it.

Since the rules of marriage are a bit different for us, it's a bit more difficult on when to know to take that step, because when I was younger I always wanted to wait until marriage. I guess my partner and I will have to make that choice when we feel it's right for us.

 

In my head, there are 3 different types of sex.

1. There's Sex, which is really just the physical aspect of it. Something fun to do, no real emotional attachment. Sex is very casual.

2. "Making love" I really don't like that term, but it's about the only thing that fits. You are physically expressing your love and trust to your partner, and the emotional connection is a big part of what makes it enjoyable for both parties. Intimacy on a physical, mental, emotional and spiritual level.

3. Then, there's F*cking. I doubt that one really needs any explanation. If you really need one, Wellll, you should probably watch fight club. Brad Pitt and Helena Bohnam Carter do a pretty good job of explaining it.

 

I acknowledge that sex is fun, even without love being involved. I just don't particularly feel like having sex with people I'm not really into. It's sort of like sex really only has an appeal when it's with someone I've been with for a while, though I wouldn't call myself demisexual. I can have sexual feelings for people I'm not in a relationship with, it's just that the actual act has a lot less meaning.

So if I was in a relationship, sex would be something fun to do with my partner. It wouldn't be critical to our relationship (I'm more into the platonic stuff like cuddling ^_^), but it could potentially be really great. I tend to be more innately sexually attracted to women, but I'm almost entirely homoromantic. When it comes to sex with guys, I'm less sure how I feel about anal sex, either giving or receiving. Not quite sure if the idea's appealing to me. Oral sex would be great though, but again, I really don't need sex in a relationship. It's just not a big deal to me.