How important are appearances with relationships?

I agree with you. I know that both people in the relationship have to be attracted to each other if it is to start and also if it is to keep going.

 

i think you just answered your question right there and i agree.

 

Nothing wrong with admitting to wanting an attractive partner, cause let's just face it, we all want a hot girlfriend/boyfriend.

The problem is some people will reject an amazing person because they're not attractive enough by their standards. That's shallow. There's chemistry needed, but compatibilty means so much.

If you manage to get someone who's beautiful inside and out, then damn you're lucky!

 

I think that there's a difference between being good-looking and being attractive, if that makes sense. I'm not going to lie and say that it's completely what's on the inside that counts, because physical attraction is important to me in a relationship. But there are a lot of things that attract me to someone which are more important than the state of their face. Looks kind of come in second.

 

I have

Well, I think someone's not only attractive because of their looks but also because of their personality. A person who's smiling and laughing will seem to be more attractive and approachable to people than a conventionally pretty/handsome person who looks pissed. So I would keep that in mind when trying to start a connection with people you don't know. I think people underestimate the value of a well-groomed appearance and a happy vibe.
And different people like different things appearance wise.

Besides - when you start getting to know someone they will often become more beautiful because of whatever great qualities this person has. And when you're in love with someone that person becomes the most beautiful being on this planet anyway - conventionally pretty/handsome or not

 

looks are not that important to me that much. but grooming is I like clean shaven and need to smell good. I know am going to get slated for this post .

 

As I always say, looks will get you in the door; emotional connection will keep you from getting kicked out. Chemistry matters, but I think we're more likely to try to make that chemistry happen with someone we think is attractive.

 

Looks are 95 percent of the attraction for people my age. You honestly don't go to gay clubs and hear "wow, man, I love your charity work. Lets go out!"

As Owen said best, it gets you noticed and emotions keep you there.

I wish we could sugarcoat things, but it just isn't. I'm attractive/adorable/lovable. But I know I am not what a lot of guys want. I'm very mature and much more fit for someone in their 30's.

It's tough. But I think the good part about looks is that we can help it. I mean that we can dress nice, shower..clean up. At least that's possible! And the people who worry are usually just self conscious and fine!

 

I'll take a fat girl if she's kinky enough. True story.

My point being that different people rank different things on different levels. Looks may be high for most people. But I value vibrant and adventurous sexuality a lot more than looks. You don't have to look like a model to be sexually adventurous, so I consider lots of average nerdy guys and girls to be very, very desirable.

 

I find things and people deeply, deeply beautiful that most would not consider so, just because I know who they really are and how their life shines from within is what makes me so drawn to them.

 

At the beginning I would say it helps, but after getting to know the person the personality is more vital in holding the relationship.

 

I don't really care most of the time but my girlfriend makes a big deal about it. I do like to look good when we go out & I love that she always looks hot on our dates, it kinda sets the tone for the night.

 

In a hook up or when someone is just fooling around, looks are important. But when it comes to a relationship, I know that personally looks are fairly unimportant when I decide I want to dedicate myself to someone. And clearly I wouldn't want to consider that person ugly, but at the same time I think I just do not place much importance on looks.

There's a difference between "ugly" and "beautiful" obviously, but it's the place in between when there's a lot of leeway. There are always going to be unfortunate looking people in the world, but within reason I think a relatively boring appearance can have little effect on a lasting relationship, depending on the personality.

 

I think it depends on how you approach relationships. I certainly do not go up to someone I find physically attractive with the intention of getting into a relationship with them. I cannot speak for the people who reciprocated my feelings but I was motivated to get to know them because of their actions, how they portrayed themselves, what they did, whether I wanted to get to know them.

In a bar or something like that then yes, looks can be the initial worm that draws you in. As I do not really go to bars most of my relationships were based off of people I slowly got to know through hobbies, friends of friends, university, etc. I have never had that moment of looking at someone and being motivated to talk to them due to their looks, the only time I have ever had that is after we've gotten together and I realise that we're in a relationship.

The cynical person inside of me says the only reason I do not focus on looks is because I have such a low opinion of my own that I see no point in lending much weight to physical attraction. If I placed my own physical attractiveness on a higher scale I'm sure the looks of others would be much more of an issue as looks would be much more of a motivator to start talking to someone rather than resulting in "meh, they have a pretty face, so what?" response.

 

I think the key is to understand the difference between separating people into pretty/ugly and knowing that your preferences are just your preferences. And also that you can develop physical attraction to someone because of their personality even if they initially don't cover any of your fetishes.

I'd be rather offended if someone told me that looks don't matter to them and that's why they're dating me. They're basically telling me I should think of myself as ugly. Fuck you. I can think whatever I want about myself and other people.

 

I'll be honest and say that for me look doesn't really matter... well, at least not that much. For me it's important if I find him attractive, even if he's not the hottest person around.
Nobody wants to date unattractive people, but when it comes to look it's all so individual. For me it's more important if he's kind and nice and have sense of humour. I don't like boring people even if they're the hottest people in the world. Yes, everyone wants to sleep with hot guys/girls but, come on, you get to get up in the morning and have to have what to talk about, right? You have to have something in common, something to talk about. It's not all finding someone attractive. For me it'd be fine if 35% look and 65% personality.

 

I agree but disagree with the first post by the OP because I liked this nerdy guy before and I was popular I thought he was adorable sure he wasn't tough but he was cute geeky..... But sadly straight but ya most of the guys I went on dates with were also popular but ended up being f**king douche bags.... If he looks like a douche bag usually he is one..... Take it from me..... Sadly I'm usually attracted to dough bags the guys in jersey shore are guys I'm heavily attracted to I loveeeeee TAHT LOok I can't help it

 

Very well said ^^^