How Prevalent is your identity to your life?

I feel the same way as u do, I want to be seen as a man once I finish transition as well. I don't think it sounds bad or hypocritical. We're all entitled to our own views. I agree with the whole marriage thing too, Australia doesn't have marriage equality either, so I'd rather get married and live somewhere that does.

 

My identity doesn't define me... my job does, haha. That said I plan on being an "out" bi screenwriter just for more exposure that we're out here. Lgbt celebs inspired me by coming out, just want to join the masses there.

 

While I don't let my identity define and overrule who I am as a person, it definitely played a big part in shaping my character, so I would definitely not have been the person I am today without my homosexuality. I've struggled a lot because of it and have consequently learned many important lessons about myself, other people, and life. I'm proud to be gay and just as many girls point out hot guys, I'll willingly point out gorgeous girls. So yeah, in that sense, it's pretty prevalent to my life.

 

i think that others see it as TRANSGENDER and then girl to boy. They do not see me as a guy. when i first went to my new school nobody knew what gender i was. sadly my name was given to all by my school, on everything. now i must come out again and again and again. I see now that i must try to undo damage they did. before, some saw me as male, they now see me as intersex or gay or something weird and assume i like girls. i didn't look like a freak, but i don't think that straights with good intentions realize what they do. one girl goes around saying to others i am transgender, she does not tell them i am male. i may need to do some talking to peeps i have talked with about that too. i don't want to be seen as that transperson...different...i want to be seen as me.

 

I want to be recognized as a girl, and to be treated as one, but I'm no fool: doesn't matter how much money I spend, how many quality surgeries I'll have, I'll never be 100% woman, because I was stupid enough to let myself be born on the wrong body.

So, coming the time of the transition, I'll be transexual, not a full woman, and saying otherwise would be lying to myself. And I'm tired of lying to myself, I did that for almost 20 years and I don't want to keep doing it.

 

Probably more important for those that are transgender, but imo it doesn't change who I am, or what I do every day one jot.

 

For my gender, I still look extremely feminine and haven't gone through with any changes to my appearance yet (the main reason is because I'm not out yet), but later in life, I do want to be able to pass as looking fairly androgynous and hope that I'll be able to manage that, though I'm sure this will probably start lots of questions and possible trouble, but I'll cross that bridge when the time comes.

For my sexuality, it doesn't quite matter to me as much. It's just a part of who I am and everyone that I'm out to is thankfully acceptant of it. As long as I have the right to get married by the time I want to get married, then it won't be so much of a bother.

 

l totally get you. And l know exactly what you mean. As a person who considers themselves female and probably doesn't want to focus on life as a male it makes sense.

My identity s a gay person isn't that important to me. l don't feel a responsibility to make people aware of it, l don't think that when some people do make their identity a huge part of their life their doing it fr that reason alone.

in life, l don't like labels and don't even like to think of myself as having any because it clouds my perception. l especially don't like to form bonds with people over them or feel special for having my identity validated by any group.

Unfortunately there are at least a few labels most people fit and at some point it's an inevitable part of your life.

Like for you, depending on what sex you date you're going to have that be a part of your identity if it's "gay" after you transition. Meaning if you date women and don't want to be closeted about that then you have a new identity as a gay person.

So. With this l don't care so much, it's not like l'm labeling myself. l'm doing what's natural for me and that's "gay" according to society.

Because of that l think it doesn't feel like a huge part of my identity because it just feels natural and l'm pretty neutral about it.

 

I can kind of relate. One of my biggest issues with being gay is the fact that people used to say tha ti was gay during secondary school even though they had no proof. A part of me is scared that if i come out i would have proved all those people right. I know it sounds very stubborn, but i guess its only natural after spending the past 8 years of my life puttting on a heterosexual mask.

I therefore felt shocked when someone said on a number of occasions that i dont seem gay or even camp at all. I didnt know what to make of this, surprisingly i was a little sad!

If i come out, i dont want to be characterized as the 'gay' which is something that people now tend to do. its like you are being introduced to someone, then someone else thinks its appropriate to say 'by the way, did you know he's gay?'. I also therefore feel i dont have to tell my parents. Its just who i am and its not like a disease or anything so why should i make a huge announcement about it as if it is important for them to know (like a disease or a new job....)

 

It used to be something I thought about all the time. At some point, it just seemed like a waste of time and energy to be going on stressing about your identity. It will be relevant when it becomes relevant, like when it comes time to find someone to settle down with.

I know some people that are even older than me that actually still write angry poetry about their sexuality, or get completely wrapped up in anything and everything that is "gay". Like Britney Spears, referring to oneself as a "gurl" (not in a transgender sort of way), and Bette Davis movies. I know everyone is entitled to what they're into- and who am I to question their sincerity- but sometimes it just strains credibility.

 

+100000000000000000000000000000

To be fair, some people,who come out later in life go through the same kind of thing a teenager goes through while finding their identity. And many folks actually are teenagers so they can't be blamed.

But l do encounter the occasional person under 20 who is not obsessed lol.

lf anything l like that it isn't the most important thing about me. l know it's a source of pride some people and l do get why, but it's annoying that no straight person would ever be expected to define themselves purely based on their attractions and that it just doesn't make up a large part of their identity.

That said, hetero people who DO choose to define themselves this way and especially boy crazy adult women are just as annoying >.>

 

I'm incredibly attached to my identity. I do not want to give up either. I will not date anyone not using female pronouns, because I am a lesbian woman, and I date other women. That is a boundary that is a dealbreaker if broken. Period. But besides that, I'm becoming slowly less and less insistent that everyone realizes that everything I do is gay.

I will get gay married. I do gay homework. Because being gay is a part of me, but not as in one hunk. It's a little part of everything I do. Like a little watermark on every action. Like, it's still a "One action" dollar bill, but it has a little "gay" stamp on it, making it a gay action. The gay stamp is becoming more and more subtle, and I don't care if people notice it more and more as I age. But I don't think the little "gay" stamp will ever go away.

See what I mean? Being gay is part of me, through and through, inseparably from my self. But it's less and less of a big deal the more I grow. So, my gayness is everywhere, gayly infecting my whole life, but it's not a huge focus.