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Mom makes me see a pastor at my local church to FIX me?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by BillCozby, Jan 14, 2013.

  1. BillCozby

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    Hi im a 19 tear old male and i currently live with my parents and STILL trying to figure out what to do with my life.So in the meanwhile im trying to apply and get a job or two so i can atleast get soem type of money flow.Anyway my mom MAKES me go to this pastor at the local worship center and I cannot stand it.She has count me several times having porn up on my browser and she blaims my cousin touching me (he was 13) as an excuse for the devil to lead me down a path of destruction.I just gotta say that the bitch is cray cray and i dont believe a word she says.My question is why are parents so against their childs decisions of how the spend their lives?I mean once the child turns into an adult parents should let their child make their own "mistakes". I use that term loosely.Why do people believe this therapy works and whoever said it works are just lying to themselves :help: I want to move out and start my life but im stuck in a rut for the past 5 months and I hate not doing anything meaningful
     
  2. plasticcrows

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    Because likely the only (or majority) input she's received on homosexuality is that it's dangerous and evil. It's understandable really. If you've lived for your entire life learning that something is one way (regardless of actuality) you're going to believe that what you've learned is true.

    ---------- Post added 14th Jan 2013 at 10:20 AM ----------

    Not the church part, I mean. My parents tried to send me to a lutheran boarding school (not for being gay, I was a troubled child) and arranged a meeting with the principal. I greeted him with "Hello, sir. Would you join me in praying to the one true lord, Lucifer?"
     
  3. Deaf Not Blind

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    i agree with PCrow. She loves you, and she is an overprotective...as is common...mommy. If your mom didn't care, she would be gone all the time and let you do whatever you wanted, and never question what you do with whom or when you come home, she would ignore you and your well being. So, how can you expect if she has been told all her life that gayness is caused by rape or molestation to think you are perfectly normal and fine and the devil is not trying to harm you, especially if you react with hostility calling her crazy bitch?

    Get a job, move out, do what you please. But you only got one mom, and if you call her a bitch and crazy and other stuff like that...you won't have her to go to later on in life, you will have no mom to hug you and tell you she loves you. could be 60 years without her...long time. And you likely don't really want to break her heart, huh? If not, if you do love her but are just upset, you need to calm down and remmy the more "demonic" you talk, the more she will think she is right, your soul is going to perish. See?
     
  4. aconite

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    I agree with the other posters. She loved you, so she do what she think is right for you. Don't go down calling her bitch before you chill out.

    Of course you don't have to do everything she say and let her fully control you. But you need to calm down and think what is right and what is not for you.
     
  5. FallenAngel

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    My parents are really religious and they just about had heart attacks the one time I even MENTIONED the smallest thing about liking girls. Your mom just probably doesn't know how to deal with it and is trying to find any solution possible. She may have just been raised that it's a horrible thing and it is evil to like the same sex. Who knows. Just believe in yourself and as long as you know who you are, that's all that matters. I know it's difficult to move on without a parent's support, but if she is bringing you down this much, it may not be worth it :/ sorry you're going through this. Wish you the best!
     
  6. BillCozby

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    It seems as if the people above me do not understand because i dont think they were in the same situation as we are both in.Just because i have a mother i dont have to repair or try to have a relationship with her.All of the horrible things she has said about homosexuality and about how we all get AIDS and die why would i ever try to have a relationship with her?I can call my mother a bitch just because Ive lived with her all my life and had to deal with her all my life and some of these people have no idea who she is or how she acts. She will never understand my sexuality and I dont think she never will.
     
  7. plasticcrows

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    No, you don't have to. She's just some woman.
     
  8. inthedark4eva

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    You can't fix something that's not broken.

    I won't get into the whole religion aspect because religious debate is usually pointless and just ends with anger and hurt feelings on all sides.

    As far as your mother is concerned....

    You will always be HER child...it doesn't matter how old you are. She's trying to protect you from what she believes is a dangerous decision. I have a friend whose parents are totally against his decision to be openly gay. She told him that he was too young to make that decision and when he gets older and decides that he is gay, he should do it in private. Of course everything she said is total bullshit but she grew up in a different time with different beliefs.

    Parents don't want to see their kids make decisions that will make their life difficult. Being LGBTQ is a difficult life but they don't understand that it's NOT a choice....and that's the problem right there. I always bring up the Matthew Sheppard case....he was killed just because he was gay. Parents remember stuff like that and they don't want to see that happen to their kids.
     
  9. Deaf Not Blind

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    if that woman had aborted him he would not be here...she raised him, changed his poopy diapers, put wet cloths on him when sick with fever, and he has shoved it all aside. one day he will regret it. nuff said.
     
  10. plasticcrows

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    No, not 'nuff said.' She's still just some woman. Nothing decrees that a person has to love or appreciate their parents, granted you're (OP) probably financially dependent upon your mother, so at the very least it'd be best to feign resolution with your mother. Or hell, lie about your sexuality for now and come out when you don't have to rely on her at all.
     
  11. Deaf Not Blind

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    no nothing DECREES love...
    but any man who hates his own mom, not attractive.
     
  12. plasticcrows

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    Why does he have to have pressing emotions toward her at all? He doesn't have to hate her, he doesn't have to love her. Also, I don't think it's wise to advise people based on what you find attractive.
     
  13. thegaymer

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    i kinda agree with PCrows on not liking your mom but unfortunately, you're stuck with her until you can become independent. And i also dont like the idea of her making you go to a pastor or getting any type of therapy is pointless because its like trying to change a persons personality.
     
  14. Eric

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    I agree that nobody is obligated to like their parents, especially if they do awful things like try to change your sexuality. I'm in that boat of people who don't like at least one of their parents. My dad is absolute scum, but unfortunately at this point in both our lives, we still depend on their money so we have to tolerate them. That's still not to say you have to obey them, and unless you're especially headstrong, I would advise against meeting the pastor.
     
  15. photoguy93

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    She is trying her best, in her mind.

    In reality, she's nuts. But here's the thing - she's not anusing you, right? Like, you are safe?

    I'd say just play the game. Don't let her see your porn. (We all probably watch it, but you have to be careful.)

    If she makes you go to the pastor, maybe try and come up with an alternative. Or if you have to go, look at it like the biggest and best push in your side to get you out of there!
     
  16. hello1992

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    She cares for your thats why. Sounds like she follows religion. No religious mum wants to be plagued byt eh thought of their son going to hell. She is trying to do what she thinks is best for you (in the very very very long run). And it must also be odd for a parent to find their son being not what they expected.

    These therapies are popular because people will go to lengths to change themselves. Homosexuality can be very stressful and put many in a very difficult position (i.e. death sentence in some countries) and so you would try anything to correct yourself. Admittedly, if any were proven to work, i would try it out myself. Now i know some of you may jump down my throat for saying this and say i should be proud to be gay and i shouldn't hate it blah blah blah, but try being from a muslim family and then tell me! It just has created too many problems....
     
  17. Last Gentleman

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    How does the pastor react? Can you talk to him and say that it's not a choice, you are happy with who you are. Maybe he can easy off, or help you communicate with your mum in such a way that she begins to understand?

    I will say that no, you don't have to love your mother. My sister uses her children as a means to get revenge on our mother. I don't talk to my sister and never will. Mums always said she loves her, but doesn't like what she's doing. I would fully support my sisters kids if they said they hated their mum and never wanted to she her again.

    However, it sounds like she loves you and wants to "help" you. She just doesn't understand that you don't need fixing, you need unconditional love and support.

    I've spoken with my mums pastor (anonomously) and will possible do say again about the topic. My mums Christian while I identify as Buddhists. I wanted to make sure her church will support her when the time comes and not preach to her how she has to fix me.
     
  18. BillCozby

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    It seems as if your opinion is based off of something else. Im guessing your parents are fully accepting of you being whatever you are but life isnt that black and white.Maybe i went to far with the idea of hating my mother or maybe i didnt why does it matter to you honestly?I mean its not like im hating on your mother or calling your mom whatever i want to call her. :dry:
     
  19. SkyColours38

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    I'm sorry that you have to put up with that stuff, it really sucks. I can't imagine how frustrating it would be, since my parents are nowhere near that bad (they don't hate gay people, but are strongly opposed to gay marriage, do not believe in bisexuality, and think its all a choice. At least they're not religious!). My sympathies, I hope you can get through the next few years before university (I can't wait!), and yeah try to delete your internet history or hide your porn files or whatever, because when she sees that stuff it can only make her more convinced that you're possessed or something. Good luck!
     
  20. Niqk

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    Quite a perverted image came to mind... :icon_wink

    Just go to the pastor and tell him that he has 'perfect blowjob lips'. I'm being entirely serious. There will be two outcomes:

    1.) He will want nothing to do to you and it won't be a problem.
    2.) [Insert Steamy Sex Story]