Anyone feel that you were treated differently after you came out to someone? Or maybe that you think they see you differently? I only recently told one of my closest friends for the first time, (wasn't exactly the way I planned... I'll leave that for another time) but yeh for the most part she seems to be taking it ok, I've just noticed she brings up a lot of stereotypes in conversation. It's probably just cause she's still coming to terms with it, its strange to me cause personally I feel the same but sometimes she looks at me like I'm a different person. I knew things were going to change when I told her but I don't want it to cause distance between us. Anyone experienced this/have any tips?
Nope. Never. Maybe it's because a lot of people thought I was strange, and that was just an explanation as to why. And some barely knew me before I was out. And the rest ignore it to the best of their ability. Which impresses little butch me to no end.
Sometimes- most recently while stay in hostel this guy asked what club I went to an I said he'd probably not like it but he insisted so I told him a gay clu. And after that I think he thought I was going rape him in his sleep, and was telling me not to go near his bed during the night....Kinda annoyed me
Shit yes! OMG I told one of my close friends a (shallow hoe) and she was like I'm totally chills with that I always wanted a gay friend..... Anyways I hung out with her and she's like "u totally just checked him out" and was like humiliating me and was asking people of they were gay...... Made me uncomfortable anyways she's like after all that.... "I think gay is like fucked up like how did this happen? Do you have diseases" and I'm like are u kidding me? "I don't think we can like talk or anything any more like your gay and its just too weird right now I'm sorry but I'm religious" and I haven't talked to her in 2 months nice right? I can't believe I called her my friend!
I'm not sure, honestly. I think that people generally don't change, but my expectations of them change. When they don't deliver, I get disappointed. So I guess it's me.
I'd hope you aren't still close friends after something like that. Personally, my experience has been pretty good. It's been a non-issue except for one person who ceased all communication with me. Which is funny because, prior to that, he was one guy that just couldn't stop talking to me. Then again, he was a friend on an MMORPG. So I can't say it was a terrible loss. But I recently confided in a straight friend that I wanted to ask someone out and wanted his advice. It was in a crowded restaurant and I was trying to be discreet about gender. My friend actually told me that he doubts anybody would care and just proceeded to give me advice. Felt good knowing he doesn't look at me as some sort of other.
dude, you need a better crowd. ---------- Post added 15th Jan 2013 at 09:59 AM ---------- i have not told many who knew me prior, mostly gays. i have sorta told mom who seems to be handling it/ignoring it, and gay friends who don't care, my best friend who does not talk as often but is more careful her words and asking if at school i found a church yet, and one deafie here who is straight who seems to worry about me now and thats about it. Nothing big.
Whenever you come out to someone, you need to give them some time to adjust--friends too, not just parents. Sometimes, they just need some time to process it. David, your mom is unlikely to approach the subject directly when you are approaching it obliquely with her like you are. She called you by your preferred name without you even asking her to, and I don't know if you can ask for any more than that.
My mum now wont speak to me much, she only calls me abigail and not abi or aj as she used too, she wont hug me at all and tries to avoid me at all times, so yes it has changed for me she looks at me different as well. But two other people i have told treat me fine which is lucky
This is what I worry about most when I think of coming out, I'd just want people to treat me like they do now and not see me differently
