Well in a discussion today,my mum told me but if my brothers dad found out my bro or his stepson was gay or even had a slight suspicion he was, there is no chance he wouldnt disown him. But if his daughter was lesbian,that would be fine. Then she told me her partner thinks there is too much stigma, and his son having anal sex would be to degrading to him, for him to want to know his son. I dont live with my dad but hes the same, he already disregaurded my brother because he a little to femmine. My mum reckons any man over 40 here would do the same. Got me thinking, do you guys agree older men would treat their sons this way.
I would not know, as I don`t really have one. My biological father and I never got along for very different reasons. However, he would be violent towards my brother just for not eating meat manly enough (apparently you are not accepted as a man if you don`t eat near raw meat, my brother was 5 years old at the time). So, considering that part, I don`t think he would have accepted my brother if he was gay. But then again my father was a nut-case and a good riddance. My step-father is a bit of a moron, and can be an a**, but generally he has never cared much about my orientation, and if his son turned out gay I am pretty sure he`d be fine with it. So, I think you got some father`s in both boxes. It also would depend on culture and nationality, not to mention religion. But I don`t think one should assume all men would react the same, even if they share religion/culture. :S
My father immediatly supported me when I came out. In fact it seemed like had told him something ordinary, like some interesting thing that happened at Uni. He's pretty progressive. In fact I'd say he's accepted it completely and better than my mom. She's ok with it in principle, but still needs to process it, if you catch my drift. In any case, seeing as how my dad's 57, not all man over 40 are 'that way' to their sons.
its good to see not everyones dad would do that to their child. My dad made me turn a tv show off because it had gay men as contestants. I tried to reason and say so what if there gay thats irrelevent im still gonna watch the show. But he just got agressive and said its a sick thing, and by showing things like that on tv their just showing kids that its okay to be gay. At least instead of him disowning my bro and me(dont know how mad he would go if i said im trans) we disowned him.
When you say you disowned him, do you mean physically, that you moved out, or mentally, that you don`t care what he mean or fell anymore? Because I would recommend both. Distance is good, when a father has these kinds of attitudes. He might change once he ends up losing two sons, maybe he`ll realize what he lost, and if he does, I would consider forgiving him. However, as long as he retains the unhealthy (to you) attitude he has, I`d seriously go for the distance. *hugs*
Umm...nope. I've never met a father like that. Even my grandpa, who was an old-fashioned hunter/logger type man, managed to accept the fact that his oldest and only surviving son was gay.
Thats terrible. I don't know about everyone, but my family would never. Apart from the obvious homophobia, it also seems sexist, in a way. Receiving anal sex is seen as 'feminine' for some reason, and thats seen as a bad thing, for some reason.
^ I think it may be the idea that a guy is getting it woman style, so feels submissive, as in not a leader, not male, weak, needing a man to help them survive? Maybe the straight cultural way of thinking leads to other assumptions, that he does not respect himself, feels lowly, so it is a bad thing?
I remember, a few years ago, my Dad and older bro saw something about a gay person in the newspaper, and they both agreed that all gays should be lined up and shot. I was standing right next to them and just wanted to say something, but as he's extremely religious, I kept my mouth shut.
My Father, or other older male family members (uncles, grandfathers), don't hold this view in the slightest. My Dad's in his 50s and is an outspoken supporter of LGBT people. Some people will and some won't. I think even in the UK (as I saw the OP is in the UK) there are some regions that are more accepting that others. Having a religious belief will also affect this to some extent. Although I can see where the thought comes from; our parents generation were less accepting that our generation.
you know what is funny?? My father and I have fist fought many times, and we've been pretty roughed up, but I have a fairly good feeling that he would accept me for being gay and would still love me. Talk about a paradox....
*Hug* I know a very different group that I would be violent against, if I did not put myself above petty violence...
