So I am in a long time relationship now and the guy that I'm with was someone that I met through one of the dating apps for your phone. So far so good, but I still have this creeping thought in my head that if any thing goes wrong in the relationship; he might just go on the app and find another guy instead of manning up to break up. I don't know if this is a trust issue or is it common sense. Has anyone else met their significant other on one of these places. If so, have you also had the same thoughts. Once again no cheating has gone on, but how do you come to a comfortable spot with this?
I'm in the same boat with my relationship. I think it's because I don't feel like I'm good enough for him. He got the app back to 'talk to some friends' and I found out about it. He deleted it because I asked him to. We use the "******" up which is full of people looking to just hook up and I didn't feel comfortable with it. He says he loves me & I believe him. But I don't know, I guess we're just insecure. If you have doubts you could get the app & check up to see if he's on there?
I thought about the checking up thing. But would if I'm wrong and a mutual friend comes and sees me on and tells me. Btw be careful because thats a bunch of bologna to say "I was just talking to friends"
Well he did delete it. 11 or 12 days ago, because on my app it shows you how many days ago he was online up until 10 days ago then it just stays as "offline" . I trust him, he said he could just text/Facebook them. That it was no issue at all. But um, you should just do the check up thing anyway from time to time?
Having been cheated on in almost every relationship, I now struggle to trust anyone. I'm forever checking up on what they're doing, when last they were online, and if I happen to see they were online at odd hours of the morning, my thoughts just go bezerk. "Who are they talking to?" "What are they talking about?" "Do they have someone else, and only stringing me along?" "Can I truly believe everything they say?" I'm paranoid by nature, so that doesn't exactly help with the trust issues... I also feel that most people are usually on these apps just for casual hook-ups. And those of us who take it seriously get hurt in the process. I'm on a mobile app as well as a dating site, and I feel that the mobile app is the most dodgy of the two, and this exact app was what caused my last breakup, and the one before that. Stupidly I returned and am now chatting to a (what seems like) wonderful guy, he's a pilot. Pictures to prove it. We would've met up yesterday but there was a crisis at work. We're chatting through IM now, and it also shows when last they were online. I saw that he was online just after midnight last night, and now my paranoia is killing me. I hate when I become so obsessed and almost possessive. He's not mine. Yet.
I think doing the check up thing is a terrible idea. If you feel uncomfortable about it maybe you could just talk to him about how you feel. See what he says. But running around behind his back definitely shows you don't trust him and if you found out that he was checking up on you how would that make you feel?
But then again, if the partner found out that you were checking up on them it may or may not stop them from going on the app/ (if the are chatting innapropriatley) may cause them to stop. I openly show my boyfriend that i have jokingly flirtatious conversations with gay men that i had met on the train. (The people I talk to don't iknwo i'm joking but i'M a mind f**k so yeah) . I think it's starting to get to him so I should probably stop doing that. Even though I'm completely faithful to my boyfriend and he says he knows that, I should probably stop.
See now this is exactly how I feel. @burritoqueer I'm sorry but if i feel that your a bit off on that. Its like why go on, you are now doing what you didn't want him to do. Then when he finds out we're all screwed. Anyone else have a thought or suggestion?
