How we deal with suicide

I have to agree wholeheartedly with everything you're saying. I spend a decent chunk of my time working with suicidal people and the mentally ill. One of the first things that we were taught during suicide prevention training was to avoid the suicide is selfish approach. It is only used in incredibly rare situations. I wish the rest of the world would see that approach the same way.

I think that as a society we need to change the way we view people that suffer from suicidal ideation. They need help not judgment

 

Personally I do think suicide is selfish. However, somebody contemplating it is likely beyond caring what other people think. It will only sink them deeper into self-loathing to hear that they are being insensitive.

I would put more effort into telling them they would be missed. The world is enriched by everyone who chooses to live for others.

 

I do agree with what you're saying to a point. Different people react to different things tho. I know a few people who have told me the thing that kept them alive during their suicidal periods was another person and knowing how selfish it would be for them to leave that other person (for instance a friend of mine has kept going because she doesn't want to leave her 5 year old brother alone in her unstable home. She had said it would be selfish for her to do that to him). So I guess it really depends on the person and what they react to and value. That's the best way I can explain my thoughts. Sorry not so good at wording the things in my head sometimes.

 

I think there's a distinction that needs to be made between the person in question and the actual act of suicide being selfish. I don't think it's fair or constructive to say that the person is being selfish, for many of the reasons you've listed. On the other hand, I personally believe the act of suicide could easily be seen as selfish. You're doing something that somewhat benefits yourself at best, and more likely than not hurts a lot of other people.

However, it's not something people need to hear. But there is a difference between addressing the person and addressing the action, and I think that needs to be remembered.

Over the last couple of days I've actually run through my mind the idea that I was suicidal. I felt like there wasn't anything really worth living for and that if I could, I'd hole myself up somewhere away from everyone else, even my friends. That said, I can't fathom the idea of actually committing suicide, probably for the reasons we've both listed. Hopefully that goes to show that while it's obvious calling someone selfish is not beneficial, calling the action selfish in a more considerate manner is not necessarily harmful either.

 

Since about a year and a half ago I've been depressed and have considered the final act many times but I was never able to even think of how I would do it. My best friend helped me though whenever needed it and vise versa. On Monday at school I'm going to go to the shrink and talk to her about how to keep the thoughts from returning. I feel as if after a year and a half of waiting for the shitstorm to pass I've gotten worse and I think it is time for me to get help. I don't know whether or not to tell the shrink lady about my friend who has also talked about going but "never has time for it." Any suggestions.

 

If you're suicidal you should definately tell somebody... anybody! Cry for help if you must! I have talked a friend down from suicide, and I was worried sick over her. I took her under my wing for awhile, though I'm not sure how she is these days and I sure wish we had stayed in touch.

Suicide is SELFISH!?! :***: that!!! PEOPLE are selfish because instead of trying to help others who are clearly suffering, we call them "selfish" for wanting to leave us.... WTF! "Oh they killed themselves without thinking about how it would affect ME..." That's bull:***:!!!!

I personally believe these people are guilt tripped into staying alive because of the people around them and that's the true tragedy. I honestly believe every life is sacred and should be treasured, but comtemplating suicide is not selfish on any level... it is BEGGING for a reason to exist! I'm sorry I cursed so much, but that infuriated me. I had never heard that before in my life!

 

I have thought of suicide many times before in my life but I think anyone who hasn't had suicidal obsessions and even depression is a perfect human and being perfect is boring. I believe people who are suicidal need help in any way possible and need love and support more than anything.

For anyone who doesn't get that is narrow-minded and selfish.

 

It annoys me too when people call suicide selfish. If someone really is that low that they're considering killing themselves then they need a bit of compassion, not to be scorned.

Personally I cannot even comprehend how miserable someone must be in order to even contemplate it, I've never been there and I feel incredibly lucky that I've never been there, or even close.

If someone is in that place, it's not exactly the best advice to tell them they're being selfish. They probably feel so worthless that they would struggle to understand how much other people care about them anyway. Reminding them that there's people in this life who love them dearly would be a much better approach.

 

I have to agree with myheartincheck. Having suicidial feelings is something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. The level of emotional pain is indescribable. I use to have days when I'd spend hours just thinking of various ways to end it all. When you use what little energy you have hating yourself; when you go to bed each night just wishing you don't wake up, then feeling horrible when you do wake up knowing to have to face another day. The world is dark, cruel and miserable. You just feel so lonely.

So when someone comes along and tells you your a horrible selfish person for having those feelings I just think it's out of order. It's just so arrogant and it doesn't help anyone. If anyone dared tell me that I'd tell them to go f:***: themselves.

 

I know I've been called selfish many times by my sister for thinking about suicide.She is a lot stronger person than I am so it always pissed me off that she would say that to me.

 

I've been told by many people that it's one of the most selfish things a person can do. I have to agree with them. While it may not their fault that something about their lives is driving themselves to suicide, it still doesn't make the act any less selfish.

It IS a guilt trip, but it's something you SHOULD be guilty about. Creating more misery from your misery is the wrong path no matter how you split it. You have the decision to choose a different path. There's nothing stopping you but yourself.

Confide in others how you are feeling. Suicide is wrong on every level.

 

Most who commit suicide have a mental illness, and thus it's not really a choice made while in a healthy state of mind, if you will. Its not as black and white as some people would like to make it out to be. Its a very circumstantial issue really.

I've thought about it and I've attempted before, but it wasn't successful. Clearly. Anyway, I think humans are just another animal on the earth that will eventually die out. I think life has the meaning that you give it. When I die, I will eventually be forgotten and I don't believe in any kind of afterlife, so all that I have to experience and enjoy is the now.

I may not think my life has any particular special meaning, but I'm also the one here living it and I want to enjoy that experience as much as I can before I'm gone. That means accepting all that life brings, whether I perceive it as positive or negative, and choosing to apply meaning to the things that are important to me.

 

Confiding in others doesn't always help. When you're suicidal, you feel alone even if you're around everyone closest to you. I'm not attacking what you're saying, I just don't understand how it's selfish! We say it's selfish because of how it affects US and that makes us the selfish ones in my opinion.
If someone I knew committed suicide I would NOT consider it selfish. I would feel sadness that they felt so low that they got to that point. If someone gave up fighting, they must first have been fighting.
This is very disturbing to me. I cannot comprehend how such an act is selfish. They're probably suicidal because they don't want to burden others with their problems, and yet we call them selfish!!!

 

Thank you.

I also didn't want to elaborate this far, but I will say this:

People think it's a selfish thing. People think "They must live life no matter how much pain they're in, because if they die then I'll be sad and I don't want to be sad." They're not brave enough to take themselves out of this shitty world so they think that they have a right for you to suffer along with them.

I didn't choose to be born into this world, I should at least be allowed to choose to leave it.

 

You're welcome.
Everyone hits rock bottom at some point.

A person is not "stronger" if they don't have these feelings. They may just experience pain differently. Suicidal people are not weak or selfish... and even if they were... why the hell would you talk down to them like that? None of us are beyond such feelings...

I can't believe how strongly I feel about this. I've seriously never known anyone to call this selfish before...

 

Suicide isn't selfish by any means, I don't wish for anyone to feel like taking their life is the only way to escape pain.

 

I really understand where you're coming from. I just think that the circumstance is different depending on the person in question. Much like you, if a man who was my friend killed himself, I would be sad, and selfishness would be the last thing that would come to my mind. If anything, I would feel guilty that I didn't reach out to him or notice the signs.

However, if a mother of three children killed herself, I would feel far more sad for the children. I can't see that scenario as anything but an act of selfishness. No matter how hard your life gets, to throw those who are completely dependent on you under the bus is wrong.

 

I appreciate your understanding and see where you're coming from. Situations like that are truly unfortunate, but far beit from me to know what those circumstances are from my outsider's eye. I respect your opinion though.