Quotes taken from another thread Hallelujah, Chip you have just taken the words straight out my mouth. At last another person who can see straight through the scene (on a side note dating sites "are not my thing" either) Ok Ok enough with serenading Chip, moving on to my own points to build on the entire case However sometimes I am disillusioned that there is very little for LGBT communities (the womens non scene community is even more fractured and not there so to speak) When I first came out I did the local LGBT youth groups and the scene, as with everyone else those sort of places were my first taste of the non straight/cisgender world. I did it for a year and 9 months in its "allure" was quickly starting to wear on me. I'm 23 and in under 4 months will become 24, I'm allso (ultimately) an intellectual persona who gains no real stimulation from either "youthyness" or the scene. I wen't out on new years eve and to be honest I was really starting to get bored by half 8, no jokes!! I left at half 12 to say I've done it at least once. In my last 3 months of looking for suitable alternatives of looking for groups to meet non straight women or LGBT people where I can actually have a (gasp!) real conversation (a good one that is) have not really given me much hope to be honest. I'm not "youthy" or feel much connection with "youthyness" and I'm also far from a "scenester" and good luck to those who are. The "other" options are either so limited and non existent that short of making my own or turning to religion I don't know the answer.
Yes, more than with straight people the 'gay scene''dating sites seem to be all about 'youthfulness' and toned body. If you think that at 24 hers you have 'no connection' what hope is there for older people?,lol
Exactly, I still want to have fun and all that, but i'm more or less talking about picnics on the beach, trips out to the cinema, hangouts to watch a movie (all the non pub and club stuff). I've even put finding a GF on hold since I would be better off starting out with getting a decent group of (gay girl) friends who still love life but securely know they are done with the scene. Well that is the theory. As for the practice, well say no more Our local free gay magazine 6 months ago had an article about this. Once you turn 30/35 (or just about whatever age they listed, although It can happen at any age in the mid 20's onwards) and you're so done with the scene (male or female) theres just very little out there for gay people to meet their own for true freindship seeking. What can I say, I'm disappointed in the one size fits all culture. Ultimately I believe most of todays scene types will find a day where they say "you know what I've tried and tried to make it work using different venues and that, but no matter which option I try out next I keep finding out the end conclusion is hay you know what the scene is not what works for me (anymore)".
i found i had better luck on dating sites that were not gay-specific (but permitted you to search for a same-sex partner), promoted themselves as relationship- or marriage-oriented, and charged a fee for membership. i suppose it makes sense that if you're willing to invest a little money in your search for a potential partner, you are probably looking for more of a long-term commitment. i met my partner this way and we plan to marry and raise a family together. i was using free sites before that but found that many people had tons of issues i wasn't interested in dealing with and/or were only interested in threesomes or other short-term things. the free sites also rarely had other professionals on them. not that i wouldn't have considered dating someone in a different kind of job - and i did go on dates with people who worked everything from retail on up - but i tend to relate better to and have more in common with people who have a more similar educational and career background.
'but i tend to relate better to and have more in common with people who have a more similar educational and career background.' excatly: If you put interest in the foreground and sexuality second or third your are more likely to find people to get on with regardless of age.. e.g. I joined the 'gay' motorbikes...motorbiking comes first and there are also straight people involved...
