Recently and oddly, I've run across some situations with my mom where the issue of being transgendered came up. I'm surprised by her open-mindedness (at least that's how I took it) and was wondering how you all would interpret her reactions. I'm not out as gay to her or my dad, and I'm always trying to gauge their opinions on LGBT things. SITUATION 1 We were at Nordstrom shopping for shoes. The woman who helped my mom was obviously MTF. After we walked away from the shoe department, here's the convo: Mom: That woman who helped me was actually a man. Me: I know. Mom: I could tell as soon as she started talking. Me: Yeah...but she transitioned well though...she looks good as a woman. Mom: Yeah, she looks good, but I could tell. SITUATION 2 There was a girl on TV who really seemed like an MTF (masculine features, really deep voice, etc.) but had long hair and wore a dress (but I could also see how she could be biologically female). Either way, my mom kept calling her a "he," so I said: Me: SHE! If she's really transgendered, then she wants to be referred to as a "she" even if she is biologically a he. Mom: Trans what? Me: Transgendered...*proceeds to explain what that means and reemphasizes to refer to the girl as a "she"* Mom: Oh really, I didn't know that. [Moments later] I feel sorry for those kinds of people. Society won't accept them. Her reactions/responses...would you consider them good? bad?
l'm not going to label her reactions in those situations. But even though LGBT is :LGBT: l wouldn't assume that her reaction to trans people is going to determine how she reacts to you. Some people do react the same to all of LGBT but some don't. l get more of a phoney acceptance vibe from some who embrace in its entirety and seem to hold no opinions that might be less than popular for any of the LGBT subgroups.
Eh. Not good. She is ignorant, if she had a coworker or neighbor maybe would help. But putting aside excuses, my mom and me discussed a not fully transitioned mtf and her doctor she assumes is not fully transitioned ftm. Not fully transitioned cuz we can still tell...trust me when a couple years are passed you cant usually tell...may meet many daily and not know it. My mom admitted its harder to accept mtf, but if they say they are woman or man, she tries to accept that and use whatever pronouns go with that gender identity. Maybe to test her reaction on gays you can mention somebody cool and famous see what she says.
It wasn't brilliant. But at least she was ignorant and not hateful. Unfortunately, when a lot of people notice a transperson, the comments involve the words 'disgusting', 'unnatural' and 'hell'.
Well here's what I know as far as her feelings on gay people. She watches and loves Ellen. My family and I watch Modern Family together, and my mom loves Cameron. My parents have both said a long time ago that they don't mind gay people (don't know how the conversation came up), and they believe that gay people should be able to live their own lives however they want. What's caused a big bump in my road to coming out is that my mom turned to religion about 5 years ago and has since become devoutly Christian. Our family went through something really rough, and to add to that, she is prone to severe anxiety and has high blood pressure. I didn't want to cause any more friction in the household. In high school, I did a presentation in class arguing for pro-gay marriage; I told my mom about the project, and she asked if that's how I really felt because according to the bible, marriage should be between a man and a woman...and that's the most "homophobic" thing she's ever said. I don't know her feelings about it now...the topic has not reemerged...but I'm afraid her Christianity is making her less accepting than she would be otherwise. Yeah, I know. My mom is not the most well informed person on modern day culture/society, let alone LGBT culture. She's quite clueless about a lot of things. She's a very intelligent person, yet she doesn't engage much with American culture. And since she doesn't know I'm gay, there's no reason for her to go out of her way to learn about LGBT life...it's just a nonissue to her. Like you said, I was just glad that words like "disgusting," "unnatural," or "hell" didn't come up. She was quite ignorant and a little insensitive, but she's only that way when she really doesn't know better.
Buddy, my mom is Baptist, so am I. I go to church dressed as a man now. Not an issue. It just seems she is ignorant, not hateful. Don't worry abt it, her God gave her you to prevent any hate from forming in her regarding gays. I bet she will react like my mom did. Feel free to read my threads what happened over Christmas break. Not all Christians at like their Christ...who said love all...and I have a feeling from what you write abt your parents it will not be a bad reaction.
