Gyadar on fire. Please help!

He Is making my gaydar go crazy.

Guys I really need your help. I have no idea how to deal with a situation like this. So there is this guy at school, a coleague of mine (Interior design class) and we have been becoming close friends latley, but he is making my gaydar go crazy! He does not know that I am gay, for the record. So here are my clues.
- All of his friends are girls – He said being around guys makes him uncomfortable, he cant trust them, and choses to befriend girls instead. According to him I am the only guy friend he ever had and trusts.
- He is an artist (not meaning to be stereotypial or anything)
- He has been with a girl for the last year and a half that would not give him any sex, and despite that fact, when they broke up he turned down another girl’s offer for sex. He said she considers herself as a sex toy and would like to be more of a change in her life (being the first guy that hasn’t banged her yet).
- He gets very uncomfortable when someone jokes around and calls him gay.
- At first he used to say that he hated gays, but he told me earlier today that he wouldn’t mind a gay friend as long as he would not hit on him. He wouldn’t and quote, want them to consider him as one of them.
- we usually go for a walk and sit somewhere private on campus and talk about stuff, and usually end up brining the gay topic up. Today he said he thinks everyone is so superficial because they probably think that just because we sit alone together for long times we are probably gay. You know what they say? When someone protests way too much about something because it is probably the truth they wouldn’t want to accept? That’s how it is with him and homosexuality – he protests it way too much. He kept telling me there is no way I am gay, no way on earth, and stuff like that, when no one even accused him or hinted that he was! And we braught the kinsey scale gay test up, I said you should try it just for fun and be honest while taking it, and he replied yea, and if I don’t like the results, ill just keep them to myself.
He is really polite and a bit mysterious and not that social, though he is gorgeous.
Not to mention, he tries way too hard to prove that he is manly. He wants to take boxing classes over singing classes because it is more manly according to him.

One day we were joking around and he said something about the both of us sleeping together, and I was like no way buddy im straight (in a joking tone) and he said well im not. I looked at him and said I know and he just didn’t say a word, did not even deny it. He just shut up.

I think he is way into the closet and I really need to help him find out who he is and not live a lie, but how? He keeps telling me that he loves his girlfriend and wants to marry her and im just worried he is really trying to prove something to himself. and how can I deal with his fair amount of homophobia which could be caused by his hate to and non acceptance to his own identity?

This reminds me of teddy and Ian so much btw. (90210)

 

I think that might be a good idea but it scares me, given the fact that he might lash out on me so bad I would lose him as a friend. when I first cranked the "I think your gay joke" he was like stop doing that someone might take it seriously I am not gay, I hate gays. (his words) but then after I started making him know that I am open minded and do not mind hgt think homosexuality is wrong, he started to feel safer defending gays by saying that just because someone is gay does not mean they are feminem a sooshy. he said some really manly gay guys exist too, the he proceeded to say he does not have a problem with having a gay friend but he would feel uncomfortable if that person touched him (in a very casual way) so I think I am making progress, but is he ready to accept me being gay yet? is he ready to accept himself too? I already made it clear for him that I have nothing against gay people, and I have some best mates that are gay themselves. when we talk about marriage I made it clear for him that I will probably never get married but I never refer to the potential person that I will spend my life with with a "she". I keep it more abstract. but is he ready?

 

I know and I feel so guilty about that but I was so scared. He also once asked me what would I want in a wife. I feel so stupid that I actually answered that question as if I was a straight man. I feel like I want to gradually tell him the truth and bring him out of the closet at least to me. we can start by admitting that no one is 100% straight, and maybe ill just work on that.

---------- Post added 22nd Jan 2013 at 08:38 PM ----------

I dont think he is ready for that just yet. And plus, so far I have only told 8 people that I am gay and none have rejected me, they were all super accepting and cool with it. my best friend is straight, and he gives me advice on my gay relationships. I am really not ready for anyone to reject me for being gay - I might not take it well. plus I think I am crushing on hi so I am really not ready to push him away.

 

How can I break it down to him that all I have said earlier I just said it because I didnt know what else to say, that in fact i am interested in boys and not girls? wouldnt it be a bit too confusing for him? should I come off as a scared guy thats looking for his trust or the confident proud gay guy?

what if his gaydar goes off and he asks me the question? then what? does the tone that he uses to ask me indicate the answer he wants to hear? and how should I tell him?

 

So here is what happened today. As I suggested to him earlier yesterday, he took the Kinsey Sclaing test and according to him scored as a 1 – meaning exclusivley straight. He said he had answered with a “false” to all of the questions about ever watching or even be willing to watch gay porn. Answered false to ever be willing to participate in an orgy where the general gender of it might be male. And some other stuff. He said he would never watch gay porn and it repulses him (acording to him, that is what he said) and would immediately change the chanel if ever came across it. And then he proceeded to ask me what my score was, and he said I think you might have scored a 3, meaning bisexual, so I took your guys advice and pinged his gaydar and said you never know, I could have scored more than 3 (I am 4) and then he said well that would make you gay and your not gay are you, So I told him he needed to chill and not even stress that much over it, it wouldn’t matter. I then asked him what makes him think I am bi, and he was like “come on confess it I know you are, I mean im sure you would go out with a guy if he asked you to” and I did not denie it nor confirm it and asked him not to use labels, but I did tell him that no I would not mind goinf out with a guy, and even if he was not my type, I would reject him but be very flatered.

And now he has his pic with his gf on watsapp and her name along with a heart in the status. Someone please tell me what is going on? He seemed to take me being not straight quite well, which I consider as progress.