"Femme guys."

I am confused about the fashion ones though. I mean, if you look at magazine ads, masculine guys can still pull of fashionista.. just different kind of clothes, if you know waht I mean @_@

 

There is a tension between femme guys and masculine guys who don't like us. We can't do anything about that. Sometimes, it's just for taste reasons, like they don't like our gender presentation. Sometimes, it's because internalized homophobia is going on, and it's caused by the thought that there's something emasculating about men being attracted to each other. People who feel that way have a dysfunctional attitude, and they are trying to compensate for their feeling of inadequacy with a renewed dedication to masculine behavior, and an intense rejection of femme presentation.

I am told that it's also a huge problem in the lesbian community, where femme presenting women are seen as straight. Or when they are recognized as lesbians or queer women, they are considered less attractive.

 

Yup. A lot of people definitely assume that girly women are straight. Either that or "too pretty to be lesbian" when they find out. I doubt many people would look at me and think I was anything other than straight, lucky me. And vice versa, as far as I've heard many people tend to assume that girls who look and dress in a more masculine manner are lesbian, whether that's true or not.

It's also a bit of a problem when I'm looking for other non-heterosexual girls, because I do the same thing unconsciously- I see a feminine girl and assume "straight until proven otherwise." :/

 

I'm a fairly masculine guy, but I like some femme traits on others and myself. I love cute girly boys.

 

Personally, I haven't really met many feminine men and don't really know whether I'm more one way or the other myself. :lol: However, I see no reason why I'd feel any tension, there are far more important, deeper aspects of someone's personality I'm concerned about than whether someone is 'masculine' or 'feminine.'

 

I try to ignore both stereotypes. I have a very slim figure which some may describe as feminine, but my likes, interests, and the way I present myself falls in neither feminine or masculine stereotypes.

I'm a gamer, I don't care what I wear, I don't work out, I don't have a gay lisp, I don't like toilet humor, I don't wear women's clothes, I don't wear sports clothes. I wear beanies and hoodies (which don't seem to fall into either category), I'm a not sexually driven person.

Honestly, I feel like I'm alienated by the Masculine and Feminine groups.

 

Thank god for femme guys. While most people would say I am masculine acting, I love femme guys and would much rather hang out with them and date them.

 

Here we go again... Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. I'm not feminine and I don't find feminine traits attractive. But that is my business and has nothing to do with anyone else. It's a free world, you can like who or what you want. I have feminine friends, but I wouldn't date them. Does that make me wrong?

 

No. I don't think so. You have a preference. It's the same thing with racial preference. It's not racism because you cannot decide who to be attracted to.

I think the line is crossed and insecurities show when you go out of your way to insult or demean femmes. I doubt you do that but many people do and that is a real problem.

Personally, people perceive me as masculine, though I know I have femme qualities too but I don't care. People are people. I would date someone masculine, femme, or in between; it's your content of character and personality I care about. A shitty person can be masculine or femme.

 

Haha that sounds sorta like me, I don't really fit into either "Masculine" or "Feminine" categories, and I'm not really attracted to "Masculine" or "Feminine" stereotypes either.

I'm hardly 'manly' but I don't consider myself 'femme'...the whole idea seems kinda silly. Most people I'd say are unique individuals, not walking caricatures.

 

Thanks! We love you too. (*hug*)

 

I've heard both gay guys and girl say similar things with regards to guys. That last part is a good philosophy though since most people are straight.

But sometimes I think it really is 'just you'. I've met some feminine-ish guys that are insecure about being feminine (I mean, this topic comes up so much on here) whereas any insecurity I've detected from masculine guys aren't really particularly masculine, if that makes sense. There's nothing threatening about femininity in somebody else (or masculinity for that matter) if you're being yourself.

That paragraph may or may not make sense.

 

No, I'm not a guy. But I'm fairly feminine. Does that make me inferior to people of either gender with more masculine traits? Does that mean I'm vapid and shallow and annoying and unable to relate to or get along with more masculine people?

Femininity does not equal weakness.
Femininity does not equal shallowness.
Femininity does not equal vapidness.
Femininity does not equal lack of intelligence.
Femininity does not equal lack of attractiveness.
Femininity does not equal inferiority.

 

I guess I do have some girly feathers i like to dress nice use moisturizer am also on the manly side can down a pint in seconds:icon_wink love my sports guess am just sitting on the fence hear as I dont mind either :icon_redf

 

I tried to convey this message on another thread, I'm like you, I like guys who act like guys
it is that simple. nothing personal just my preferences.

 

It's fine to prefer masculine guys. But implying that femme guys aren't "acting like guys" is rude.

---------- Post added 25th Jan 2013 at 05:13 AM ----------

I think it happens both ways in the lesbian community. We get newly-out, heteronormative types that have a similar problem with butches that you see in the gay men's community directed at femme guys. But then, once you are out in the community, there is a lot of anti-feminine sentiment in the lesbian community.

On Wednesday, I wore jeans to the lesbian choir rehearsal--I usually wear a skirt. Anyway, three people commented on it, including one older lesbian who came over to talk to me just so that she could express her approval for my wearing pants. And every week someone has to comment on my clothes. Not like, complimenting some particular article of clothing, but making some kind of comment about the way I dress as a whole. They are rarely overtly rude, but the underlying message is that I am not conforming to community norms.

Maddy, I have totally encountered all of those attitudes from lesbians.

 

I never meant that to be rude, Damned political correct garbage! What part of no offense intended didn't you understand? I certainly did NOT intend on insulting anyone.