Would you or would you not find a gay or bi-sexual disabled guy attractive for dating purposes? Why or why not? I'm not so naive to think that everyone wants to date disabled people like others choose to limit thier experiences in preference of race, age, religious or spiritual circumstances or whatever, so realize that not all will say yes. Knowing that most people can and do use their sight that many don't have the patience in dating someone who cannot play video games or enjoy other fulfilling endeavors such as those. Anyways, I'd appreciate a frank conversation with no fluff or pseudo apologies. I realize on here tha some people already don't like me for one reason or another. I also realize even in the LGTB community that disabilities are at times shunned too that I've seen first hand. We're not immuned of all prejudice and unfortunately disabilies are the last minority with equitable solutions intergration. Thanks for whatever contribution on what you honestly think of us in your midst and any enspiration would be nice as well. On a side note, I feel as being a disabled person less than a lowly animal cause of my disability. Because of this feeling that I'm more emotional and caring towards other people but am often ignored. I become bitter and start hating myself and those around me of what they have that I don't happen to have. This is really hard for me say all of this stufff just sometimes that I hate even being thought of at all because of Failure comes to my mind or Mistake or something akin to it. hugs, Peter
Hi Peter! Frankly, I wouldn't say no straight away without getting to know the person and what the disability could/does imply in every-day's life as a couple. Reading your whole situation though I'd be held back by your attitude: feeling less than a lowly animal and trying to compensate, as well as the bitterness. I prefer to be around people who know their worth (no self-esteem issue). I've fought my share of relationships with people having low self-esteem and I know that it means I have to try real hard to put them up, show them their worthy while they don't believe me. It's really tiresome in the long run.
I do not think that disabilities would stop me from dating someone. I believe that it really depends on the person. Because if I really love or intensely like or like the person who has a disability and we have known each other for a long time, for example, the person is lame, why would it stop me from dating them? Screw what people will say, if I like the person and that person likes me, too. But like as you stated. Not all will say yes, I believe.
Purple Crab, I think you misread what I had posted on my feelings of myself and relationships. My fear is that people won't give me a chance, then I get bitter with myself. It seems like you are confusing temporary with perminent that simply isn't the case with me. I just don't want to be left at the end of my life alone. I'm just as much human as you and others on these forums just am so afraid of being alone. The relationship that I'm in was meant to be seasonal and now has bloomed to monsterous proportions and she even knows it. I'm always nervous in transitions in counseling is next, then finding another partner of my persuation comes to my mind. I just feel overwhelmed right now and have no friends cause of the no taken chances thing. Honestly sadly foreign students treat me better than fellow americans that to me is profoundly telling of the U.S and northern american continent as a whole except for Mexico oddly enough. Thanks for any additional words just don't want to scare you off or think that I'm sitting around feeling sorry for myself cause I'm not. By the way, I'm even seeking employment unlike many of my subset.
..oh, right! Then I misread you In that case I'd have been more than happy to try and date you, with absolutely no bad feelings about your disability (blindness?). I bet if you put up a poll you'd see that the majority of people here would too. The thing is, a disability doesn't make you less valuable as a person, at all. It gives you a different outlook on life and most often, that's a very precious outlook. As long as you know this and shrug away the wrong people, you should have enough luck to find the right person for you. It helps if you are already happy and doing the activities that you like!
Purple Crab, Thank you so so much for the words of encouragement! Totally good idea on putting up a poll that is something that I should look into trying to do. I've never tried it with my screen reader. Yes, you are right that I'm blind but you are right that I need to look at more positively. You know one of the great things being blind is? The amount that people don't pay attention to the silences or gaps in conversations or the things left unsaid. I also see beyond age, race and other superficial things that don't matter. In fact, my last bf was AA and toally had a lot in common! A new lease on life maybe I have been looking at it all wrong all along right? I've finally realized something in this conversation that I need to fix myself first not worry about getting a gay partner. Then, when I do meet him after this relationship then it will work out better! I need to like go to counseling and quit feeling down on myself. I love you Purple for your help for that insight! hug, Peter
I actually don't care if a person is disabled, I actually try to get to know them, if I don't feel too scared. I can strike up a good conversation and get people talking but usually only when they are willing. Because lets face it, if a stranger came up to you and started talking you may be a little alert and nervous too. I was best friends with a young lady who could not walk without crutches but DANG that girl was FAST like Speedy the mouse!! And very smart. But just like people were treating me, they all looked down on her and placed her in Special Education due to her disabilities. I only got to be with her for a short time since we finally got me into standard education classes in high school but I always missed her. She was an awesome friend!!! I was in Special Ed since my math teacher screwed my over by informing the education board that I needed special classes!! And they don't want students to transfer out of Special Ed since the school makes money off of those students! Out F@$& off it that?! So I understand the people looking down at you for being different from them but don't give them an inch!!! There is no such thing as standard or normal in my opinion. In fact everyone who I have met who are different or 'not normal' are some of the most caring, smart, and crazy fun people I have ever met in my life! Ps: I know what it feels like to be blind, but only for a minute or so. I took a soccer ball to the face and went completely blind. It was the 2nd most scary thing that happend to me as a young kid at school. I came to really appreciate my glasses and slight hearing damage after that!
Cecil, You remind me of what my mother used to say about the word "NOrmal". She used to say "What is normal and who defines normal?" I still forget that lesson till this day but get reminded cause of it. Good to see that you encountered a positive experience with a disabled person. I can't wait to start counseling or get part of the local LGTB community meetings in town. I have to get my public transportation up and running though to get there. Lots of disabled people like me are fantastic and very caring people overall. I love helping other people with nearly almost anything like research, cooking, talking, etc because you just have to help people in need. I just can't refuse myself never ever especially when faced directly with it. Tthanks, Peter
Yogabear, Actuall I still have friends to this day who are disabled. My friend John is blind but is very smart and can tell who you are by your voice and footsteps! Kinda scary too since he is almost always right! Of course his seeing eye dog gave him hints at who was coming but we didn't hold it against him (smiley face). Another friend, who was lovingly called Butch, had to move around in a wheelchair but never let that get him down. If you ever hear a booming laugh it was almost always his. There are several people at the college who are disabled and they are just as well loved as another student.
I'm a member of the lgbtq community that also has a disability, so no I wouldn't straight up say no to having a relationship with someone else who has a disability. What kind of disability they had would be a deciding factor though - because if I couldn't reasonably meet their needs as well as my own, then it probably wouldn't be the best relationship for me and I probably wouldn't go for it. Seems I didn't read the title of the thread properly - sorry if I'm stepping on any toes
Actually its a good thing that women and others are added in the conversation cause of males aren't adding anything to the conversation. I agree that some disabilities are incompatable with one another just my view though. I couldn't date somebody who is deaf myself cause of communication and wouldn't want to myself. The thing about us disabled people is that we have a tendency to think nondisabled people are only choice like as if our own aren't attractive. This to me is really sad because its totally not true! Please contribute more to the conversation on your concerns in this arena. I'm all open ears cause I'm more than likely in the same boat. I just want to be loved but respected not pitied. I'd like to keep my independence and never have complete control gien up for convenience or political correctness either. I'm my own man that is it right?
I have a neurological condition which makes it hard for me to walk unaided, and I get serious fatigue frequently. It hurts sometimes to see people say they wouldn't date someone they can't be active with, because stuff like hiking is really out of my range.
Whoa! How common is that people are into hiking and outdoors life in your area? Here not many people are all that active like exercise but some people hunt. I guess I'd look at it logically that eliminates minimum close minded people anyways. I really have never met anybody with that type of neurological disorder like yours before. I'd try to focus on my strengths on what you are good at and build relationships on that. I'm trying to do this with talking, music, plays, comedy, traveling, and other hobbies of mine. I really need to contact my local LGTB community! hugs, Peter
