Calpernia Addams tells us "Bad Questions to Never Ask a Transsexual" Calpernia is a gorgeous Transsexual woman who actually is a friend of mine. She's a sweet southern girl whose story the film "Soldier's Girl" was based on. She really brings it on this one, expressing the anger in the face of stupidity she's personally experienced and lots of us have felt to one degree or another. She scolds some gay guys in here, but any LGBT person can relate to her frustration at a greater culture that seems to dumb to get us.... enjoy Darya
While I think she has some good points (specifically with the question "What is your 'real' name), I completely disagree with her attitude. She said "I'm not here to educate you" - but if we don't educate people, how will they ever learn? Transsexualism (and to a much lesser degree - homosexuality) are issues that are usually swept under the rug and kept secret or taboo. You can't blame someone for being ignorant about them! When someone actually has the courage to ask a question like that, a lot of the time they are simply trying to understand your sexuality, and in the case of transsexualism - what sort of ordeal the person went through ("did your surgery hurt?") I've been asked a large number of questions about my sexuality that some people might find inappropriate, such as; "When did you first have sex with a guy?" "Have you ever masturbated about a girl?" "Have you ever been depressed because you're gay?" But when someone asks you a question like that, you really have two choices. You can answer the question and further their understanding on how your sexuality/gender "works", or you can simply say that you don't feel comfortable answering that sort of question.
I've been asked more inappropriate questions, such as, "When you first had sex with a guy, were you the bottom?"...
Micah.. Your point is well taken too,and I respect it...Some Trans people, like me, are compulsively educational(you guys may have noticed!). I often hear the old "aren't you really copping out on being gay?" one a lot. Ya gotta admit the "cut off your d..k" one may be ignorant, but pretty damn rude, too. Calpernia has been instrumental in raising the profile of the Trans community along with her business partner Andrea James. They run deepstealth.com and were the force in creating the first ever trans "Vagina Monologues". I think a lot of us just laughed out loud at this sweet and friendly girl we know coming out and saying what so many of us have felt in our own fear, frustration and loneliness. Real comedy has elements of hostility; look at how many great comics came from oppressed minorities. When I hear gay people being bashed or made fun of by ignorant people I often wonder if they would get the point better if we had more comics that fired back on our behalf....I often wonder what homophobia REALLY is;is it the fear that if a gay person asks to have sex with you enough times you might succumb to it? Thats FUNNY... It's almost 2 am here..am I making ANY sense?
Hah, I loved it. I think what she's trying to get through is that although maybe sometimes people need to be educated on what we don't understand, some questions are offensive and unnecessary, and people should think "Is it really that important to know exactly that?" before asking something.
LOL, I can understand how she feels, especially with the "I know this gay guy in toronto, do you know him???" I've heard that way too many times lol. I think its meant to be funny, not to keep people from learning about it. And honestly, I think its pretty funny.
What makes it funny is that she's not like that at all....listen to that little-girly voice of hers....
