Looking like the kind of person you'll fancy

[Levi]

http://youtube.com/watch?v=tMi1n1GekF0

Hepcat showed me this interview of Stephen Fry. It is about 50min long so I don't expect you all to watch it, but I found it really interesting.

The thing I wanted to discuss though is a point brought up by Fry. He says he was unhappy by the way he looked because he was not the type of person he would fancy (he's gay btw). He made the point that this was more difficult for gay people because we are attracted to the same gender and therefor care more, and can get more depressed, about the way we look. While straight people wouldn't have the same problem since they don't have any desire to look like the kind of person they'll fancy.

Does he make a good point? Any other thoughs on the subject?

[Davo]

I think this makes sense, if I don't find myself attractive then I don't see how anyone else will, it is quite depressing. Perhaps the more attractive people on this forum will think differently.

I love Stephen, I'll have to watch this interview when I have more time

im watching it now.

[Psychedelic Bookmarks]

I watched most of it but couldn't find the point you mention.

I do think it sounds like an excellent point, though. I definately feel a lot of confusion about the difference between who I find attractive and who I want to be, whether there is a difference, whether I find myself attractive or who I hope is going to be attracted to me.

I think that it is easier for straight people, usually, because the boundary between "ideal me" and "ideal partner" is a lot clearer.

[Kimi]

I think he makes good point, in some way.

Though, I think not all of us wants to look like their fancy. Some people attracted to someone because they look different from them.

Hmm...I feel like I'm slighty off topic somehow...

BTW, I was defeated by the length of the clip

[Alexander]

I definitely don't want to look like the type of person I fancy..

[Jim1454]

I don't think I look like the person I 'fancy'. I certainly would like to look better than I do - but I think that's a common problem for most people. The fact is though, that when you find the right person, they don't see ANY of the flaws that you see in yourself. They love you for you - and have no expectation or desire for you to look or be different. THAT is love.

I can really relate with him =/ *watched it all*

[Bi As A Kite]

This is weird, I've had the exact idea in my head for ages and can't recall ever having watched that clip! Probably picked it up subconciously. I thought it'd be an easy way for gay people to make themselves look as good as they want, by simply dressing like the sort of person who would turn their head so fast they'd get whiplash. Then again, I find the whole emo look attractive but don't want to dress like it. So I can see how the idea ain't for everyone.

[addyction]

hmmm. . . not sure if i completely agree. i mean, it DOES make sense and all, dun' get me wrong, but i dun' think i do it myself. i dress and do my hair in a way that i'll have confidence. i dun' really have to find myself attractive. i thrive on boldness and confidence; haha. as long as i get compliments or comments on my appearance (i have a girl friend who always tells me she likes my style; ahaa) at some point or another, i'm good. it's always nice to receive some recognition. dun' matter who from[:

[Just Passing]

The idea of being attracted to someone who looks like me kind of disturbs me in a way.

But I'll definitely have to watch Stephen Fry's thoughts on it at some point, the man is awesome.

[steel03]

The video is gone. Does anyone know of another place to find it? I'd love to watch it.

[Just Passing]

Originally Posted by steel03

The video is gone. Does anyone know of another place to find it? I'd love to watch it.

Seeing as it's BBC Worldwide content, perhaps they may have uploaded it or at the very least a segment of it. Just an idea, but it might not be the case.

[Neoh]

Originally Posted by Just Passing

The idea of being attracted to someone who looks like me kind of disturbs me in a way.

But I'll definitely have to watch Stephen Fry's thoughts on it at some point, the man is awesome.

I think it's less about looking strangely similar and more about "if only I had the physique" or "if only I had the hair or the clothes".

And this was exactly the thing that got me to start working out last summer, 2 months later and having lost 7-10 lbs I didn't even know I had to lose, I realized it was a bit ridiculous. But for some reason I had this mind set that I could never have the person I desire if I can't also give them exactly that in return.


Edit!!!
and holy crap just looked at the start date of this thread! Necro'd to the max!

[Just Passing]

Originally Posted by Neoh

I think it's less about looking strangely similar and more about "if only I had the physique" or "if only I had the hair or the clothes".

And this was exactly the thing that got me to start working out last summer, 2 months later and having lost 7-10 lbs I didn't even know I had to lose, I realized it was a bit ridiculous. But for some reason I had this mind set that I could never have the person I desire if I can't also give them exactly that in return.


Edit!!!
and holy crap just looked at the start date of this thread! Necro'd to the max!

That sounds a bit more realistic to me. I'm perfectly happy with my hair (when it's long, thick and curly anyway) and my fashion sense, so unless if some other guy tops me in both, I should be fine.

Physique will probably be a slight problem though, I have no real signs of muscle.

[Revan]

In the immortal words of RuPaul. If you can't love yourself, how in the hell are you going to love anybody else?