Getting Tired of the "Gay Community"

I personally agree with you here. There is a lot of negative sexual image portrayed by certain groups of the LGBTQ community. If we want to be taken seriously, then we should start acting seriously and stop parading in just underwear outfits.

You dont see Ellen doing so, or other highly respected gay Actors such as Matt Bomer from WHite Collar, Jodie Foster and that other dude who was on Titanic.

I like keeping a low profile and I certainly seem straight on the appearnce too, but i also want people to know I am LEGALLY MARRIED to the woman i love. Also i want to be taken seriously by the adoption agencies and other religous groups who think that such relationships are immoral or disgusting, and that same sex couples can never raise a proper good family like other heterosexual couples.

But i think the reason why there are these form of parades and explicit behaviour, or demonstrations and protest is because of the lack of recognition that other LGBTQ people are displeased of.

I sometimes think that "Gay Pride" or other Gay parades with a lot of wild and explicit display of behaviour is not needed. And if you want to do a gay parade, make it seem loving at least or one that concerns how committed we are (not ones that show boobs or butts and start kissing one another), because the religious groups are offended by the amount of flesh they or other people see when these parades are on. This is where we wont be taken seriously because it seems as if we cant raise a family or have good moral relationships. Just sex.

 

Yeah I totally get this actually...I don't really count myself as a part of the bigger gay community just because I'm not 1) totally out or 2) totally comfortable with being gay. But I feel like people (as in straight people) will associate me with the gay community no matter what (well obviously) and think differently of me.

So I don't know if it's just me not being 100% ok with myself in general or what, but I've always felt kind of iffy on the whole conspicuousness of the community as a whole.

 

Well, when you learn that the gay community doesnt revolve around you, the more satisfied you are about being gay.

When people find out Im gay or when I confirm it, Im not really bothered about what they think about me, look at it this way, you're going to be judged regardless, you cant please everyone, and you shouldnt give a fuck.

I went to my first gay parade last year and I realised how much of a douche bag I was when it came to effeminate men, we all want to live our lives free of judgement and here I was, just like you, thinking that its their fault for spreading the stereotype when in reality, it is a way of showing the public that they dont give a fuck, and thats the kind of mind set everyone should have.

 

I'm not a fan of a "gay community," either.

I have observed many gay rights groups pushing political agendas, rather than focusing on gay rights. I don't necessarily agree with that. Gay rights groups are supposed to be about advancing gay rights, not pandering to politicians.

Furthermore, I've noticed that much of the "gay community" seeks to justify extreme promiscuity, and a lack of self-control. I don't agree with this sort of "**** anyone and everyone, and do whatever you want!" attitude. I believe that LGBTQ people should hold themselves to the same moral standards and codes of conduct as straight people. That being said, society must continually reassess the standards of sexual conduct and relationships.

 

I tend to agree with you. The flamboyancy certainly served its purpose it creating visibility for the community where there used to be none, but now I that the tide has turned to "We deserve the right to marriage and discrimination protection just like everyone else," I feel like the caricature-like image it maintains through pride parades (literally fellating in the streets at most of the larger parades) and the playing bleeding heart victims card is rather counter productive to convincing people that we're just like everyone else.

For that reason, I don't feel like the community is something that I'll ever take part in. I feel like I'm doing my part by just being my normal ol' self that happens to be gay.

 

I think the same way. The gay community wants equality, but now that we've gained some ground, we think that we can rub it in everyone's faces. I just want to be able to marry someone I love someday. Just an opinion.

 

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I don't have a lot of experience with the gay community, I like to keep to myself most of the time.

From what I've seen depending on location, it feels very warped, if that's the right word for some branches.

 

I have nothing against people that want to have Gay Pride parades, or anyone who operates under the "we're here, we're queer, get used to it" mantra.

That being said, I agree with you, Gerit. I would like the world to accept us for who we are, and I don't think we need the image that comes to mind when you here the words 'Gay Community' to get there.

 

I agree with the OP. We need to integrate instead of separate. Gaining support from heterosexuals has been a bitch and has taken a long long time because we continually separate ourselves from them and we make it hard for them to see where we are coming from.

I am a proud gay man and I have been out of the closet since I was 13 (this past year was my 10 year anniversary of being out of the closet), but I have found myself shying away from certain events and activities because of the unabashed, in your face, fuck everyone attitude the event is centered upon.

We are all equal, we all bleed red, and we all deserve respect. Show the heterosexual community that we can be respected. Running around making out with people half naked isn't behavior that warrants respect even in the heterosexual community.

 

Yea. l think Being associated with a minority that you can't control the image of is going to suck sometimes no matter it is. Obviously u___u it's an issue for people from all walk of life, race, etc.

Certain things trigger it for me. Like people "cheering you on" when you mention it. How much do l sound like an asshole for saying that?

l know l must, it's a really ridiculous thing to be annoyed by especially considering the past. But l don't know, it just rubs me the wrong way.

Like l'm no longer one single person and am now a brave little soldier to them, fighting in this war that so many people support, but that some support for what l feel are inauthentic reasons. And that's probably why it annoys me.

 

Literally this. Jonathon, we are ideological soulmates I swear.

 

This thread could be turned into an awareness letter to the gay community lol I did it for us:

I used to be really supportive of all of the gay community. All of it. Now I've started to kind of slowly inch away from it. The more I learn and figure out about the gay community, the more disappointed I get. Yes, I support gay marriage and yes I support equality for everyone, but some parts of it are starting to get on my nerves.

Gay Pride parades, promiscuity, the gay body image, the whole "We're here, we're queer, get used to it", it all drives me insane. Sometimes I view the gay community and think "So this is why everyone thinks we're insane." You don't see straight people doing this (This extreme anyway).

And I'm not bad mouthing the gay community, I'm just saying how disappointed I am with it sometimes. I know that there are an overwhelming amount of gays and lesbians that are good people and I know that the overall intentions of the community as a whole are good, but come on. We don't need men walking around in boas and their underwear to show that we want equality.

In my opinion we need to integrate instead of separate. Gaining support from heterosexuals has been a bitch and has taken a long long time because we continually separate ourselves from them and we make it hard for them to see where we are coming from.

I am a proud gay man and I have been out of the closet since I was 13 (this past year was my 10 year anniversary of being out of the closet), but I have found myself shying away from certain events and activities because of the unabashed, in your face, fuck everyone attitude the events are centered upon.

We are all equal, we all bleed red, and we all deserve respect. Show the heterosexual community that we can be respected. Running around making out with people half naked isn't behavior that warrants respect even in the heterosexual community. So what makes the gay community think it will be effective in gaining our rights.

The flamboyancy certainly served its purpose in creating visibility for the community where there used to be none, but now I that the tide has turned to "We deserve the right to marriage and discrimination protection just like everyone else," I feel like the caricature-like image it maintains through pride parades (literally fellating in the streets at most of the larger parades) and the playing bleeding heart victims card is rather counter productive to convincing people that we're just like everyone else.

Maybe you should send this to PFLAGG or another large activist group. Maybe even Ellen? I dunno. Just thought that when we combined our views it looked and came across perfectly.

 

lmao

 

I think it's funny to a point, but I also believe it's important to take a look at our tactics and maybe revamp our campaign.

 

And you feel justified telling others in the community that they should not be free to express themselves in flamboyancy?

 

l see what you did there.

 

I get your frustration. I don't want this to be some huge part of my life where I'm always hanging around gay people and fundamentally removing myself from "straight culture", so I really don't care for the entire community. I try to meet people on the DL and keep it personal.

 

Nothing gets by you lol

You may be my favorite person on here lol