you know i'm really getting sick and tired of EC

Can't say I've seen anything of the sort yet. :3

As for the open relationships, I think just a sparse few can maintain the stability to keep it long lasting.

 

Being an actual hipster comes before any label a person could have. You could be a hipster with any of the "standard" orientations you listed. lt is a deep yearning within the soul to be different and stand out from a group of people who are similar to you by any means necessary.

l don't know you and therefore l do not know if you are a hipster. l assume everyone is a non-hipster until l am proven wrong(by their actions or aggressive use of labels that are 2 or more deviations away from the "standard" labels and used in such a way that a person has as many of these labels at one time as could be possible).

ln some cases, people have a label like pan or something else that is non standard. That's really one deviation away. And it's one label.

l only start to detect hipster motivations when the person is insistent on using a label nobody is familiar with, mostly because this requires the person with said label to explain to other people what the label means l notice that they take great pleasure in doing so.

Pansexual isn't even one of these terms now, if a hispter did identify as pansexual they might be doing it a doubly "ironic" way since it is now no longer mystifying and obscure.

But mostly it's a label used that is on the same level as "bi" to me, l don't view it that way (though l guess some people do).

Any person can be a hipster, if that is expressed through their sexual orientation it's going to be less likely to be regarded as such, but the personality traits behind it will be evident.

lf a person like that is treated like a hipster and they don't understand why or simply conclude that people are treating them that way specifically because of their label they may be wrong. lt's more likely that they don't realize that their behavior is consistent with hipster traits in areas outside of their sexuality and so people treat them as such.

But again, l don't regard anyone as a hipster until l see the personality traits pop out clearly and l see it in the orientation groups that are "non hipster" as well.

 

It breaks my heart that you feel this way

I have to say, I've been here for almost a year and have encountered nothing but support. People may share differing opinions and get into a debate over the topic, and others may ask for clarification in a topic they don't understand, but the vast majority of people at EC are understanding, supportive, and genuinely want to be there for others.

The LGBT community as a whole, it's true, can be quite hostile towards it's own members. I don't think anybody would refute that...but I like to think that the members of EC are different.

 

I just don't get why people would label themselves with an orientation that most people (LGBT people as well as straight people) wouldn't even understand, even if it is what they feel fits them best. Surely the whole point of using labels and not just saying "I like x and y but not z" is so you can describe yourself more concisely? I don't think it's an invalid description, I just don't see the need for so many words. Especially when pansexual doesn't really seem to differ from bisexual too much.

I think I made a drunk post last night that you may have read so I feel kinda guilty! Needless to say, I'm not bothered about how anyone describes themselves, it's more that if I identified that way I wouldn't do what I'd see as overcomplicating matters.

 

Who's doing this? If you have a problem with someone report them. Otherwise you could identify as an ice cream sandwich and it'd be fine. I've not seen any of this, but if you want to leave go ahead because nobody's stopping you.

 

it is probably because l indirectly implied ambisexual was a hipster label in a different thread.

which may or not be true, l didn't mean to imply any person who would use this label is a hipster but if the majority are l wouldn't exactly be surprised >.>

---------- Post added 31st Jan 2013 at 03:59 PM ----------

You aren't the only person who is bored to death of this but we're probably the only two people stupid enough here to say anything about it.

l'll have to look at your post lol.

 

I do understand..... I found this site a few weeks ago and feel I have learned a lot. I asked a question out of my life experience to see if it was just me or does it happen to everyone and people thought I was joking or just plain laughed at me. I am 40 and have never been able to ask many questions of gay people. It really hurt my feelings the way a couple people responded. I have not given up by all means and hope to learn more about myself on here as time goes by. June

 

What the hell is ambisexual?

Remember when it was just gay or straight.
black or white.
Elvis or The Beatles.

Anyway, I've personally never seen anyone judge anyone else over their orientation.
Though i admit, we seem to be making them up by the hour!

That being said, if there is a problem, take it up with the staff
or point out the issue there and then in that thread.

Publicly bashing and labeling the entire forum isn't the way to go about it.

It's that persons opinion, just as you have so tastefully expressed yours.
To me, bisexuality and pansexulaity are identical.
Bisexuals like both genders....pansexuals like....both genders?
Obviously, if you want to 'fucking identify as pansexual' that's fine.

So maybe put your dummy back in and stop being a hypocrite by lumping people under the label of being arrogant when you're pissed people are putting their own labels on you.

If you're sick and tired, you know where the log out button is.
We don't want anyone to feel hurt or like they can't come to the forum for any reason.
But the fact you've become the thing you hate makes me want to speak out.

 

bisexuals are attracted to both gender (it doesn't have to be equal)


Pansexuality is different from bisexuality. Bisexual people are attracted to both men and women, but pansexual people can be attracted to any people. This includes people who are neither male nor female (wikipedia)

 

I would never degrade someone. That's not me. However, let me try and ease the tension.

I am someone who thinks that these labels are challenging and hard to wrap your mind around.

I remember someone had a post on being pansexual - Frankly, I can't tell you for sure what it means because no one was able to give a really clear answer.
I can't even begin to understand half the labels on here. I am in no way making fun of anyone - I just don't get it. I mean, sometimes, I don't know what to say. I see it like this "Guy seeking someone who doesn't maybe possibly like guys but could possibly maybe only like a girl if the sun sets low in Argentina, but not Paris, and occassionally Vegas." I mean, I just don't understand a lot of these, and I want to be honest about that.

Also, I think a lot of frustration comes from the LGBT side. We are fighting a fight! We are trying to get accepted in a world that sometimes still thinks we are just "choosing to be this way." This is like the different waves of feminism. The first was about getting women the right to vote. But the second was really about equality and getting women out of the house and getting them freedom! However, the majority of women were white and able to stay off and protest. So, the 3rd wave came and ALL women were included.

Here's my point - There's a lot at stake here. There's people who are so behind. People that don't know that a GSA is actually a place for support, and not a sex place....or that bisexual doesn't mean "a phase" or that " Jesus can turn you straight!"......

Again, it is never right to criticize. We all need an open dialogue here!

 

There's a lot of negativity in the queer community, yes. And most of my posting is pretty much dedicated to criticizing it, especially when it's directed by gay and lesbian people against pansexual and bisexual people, or cisgender people against transgender people.

My personal experience has been the opposite of yours, though. I usually find myself defending bisexuals against the claim made by pansexuals on EC that we don't date transgender people. It gets extremely frustrating, and the claim has already been repeated on this very thread.

 

l agree with this. l also sometimes feel it's a bit patronizing when a person identifies with LBTQ because they are "different" in a way that is so subtle it hardly requires a distinction. which is not what pansexual is, that is an orientation that is as "different" as bi is.

But, l'm sorry. Op has used the word degrading, this can also be degrading to gays and lesbians when a person with an "orientation" or really just any quality that differs very slightly from the norm tries to equate their struggle with ours.

l think the feminist analogy is good, though unlike feminism which should potentially include all women at the end of the day, we're being asked to include people that aren't really similar to us and then they act surprised when we don't support them in their "fight"...lol.

 

Well, I was going to post that I haven't seen any bashers since joining, but I just found one. :rolle:

hmph, just chalk it up to ignorance. When I joined EC, I didn't know any terms outside "gay", "lesbian", and "bisexual" (along with some other slang terms). I didn't know there were so many other orientations. I don't think I've ever posted anything negative on the matter, but we should all try to be understanding if someone slips and says something offensive.

However, if someone is explicitly being an asshole, report their ass.

 

Mod intervention time!

To the OP:

I'm sorry that you're feeling as though your identity isn't being respected. EC, being a LGBT- support site, obviously strives to make sure that everyone feels respected (as our Code of Conduct reflects). That said, I don't know what posts specifically you're talking about as you didn't mention them, but there are a few things to keep in mind:

1) LGBT- people, like ALL people, are human beings, and consequently capable of not seeing eye-to-eye on all things. That's not to say disrespect is acceptable, but it also means to take things others say with a grain of salt.
2) The "alphabet soup" of the queer community is massive, and truthfully there are many people that don't know what half of the various sexual/gender identities are. Again, being misinformed does not condone disrespect, but perhaps it is your place to politely teach people what they may not already know.
3) If you are feeling disrespected, please use the Post Report feature (the little red triangle in the bottom-left of each post) to bring it to the staff's attention. The staff team is made up of volunteers who do have other things to do offline, so while we try and keep our eyes out for violations, oftentimes we can't catch everything and rely on you guys to let us know what's up.
4) As others have said, if you aren't enjoying EC as much as you had before, it is your choice to leave. Similarly, it is also your choice to return if you so choose. No judgement made.

To everyone else:

1) Again, report posts that come off as disrespectful. That includes this one, as many of you have pointed out.
2) I'm sure most of you have grown up hearing the saying "two wrongs don't make a right". Just because the OP is upset doesn't give anyone else grounds to return the same tone back at him. If you even have to really consider whether something you're posting is offensive, it probably would be taken that way by someone. Keep in mind that this is a support forum first and foremost, so respect is of the utmost priority.

 

I don't see why anybody would feel the need to insult anyone's gender identity or sexual orientation as they themselves have probably been insulted on these very subjects. If you see this as a real problem, you should probably message one of the staff members.

 

XD yeah that's basically what l feel like. <33

And it's funny because l feel like if you don't use a label to reflect how different you are, some people who do will regard you as a boring and unelightened person who doesn't ''get it''.

When really l feel like l could identify as a feckin homosexual disco ball and l wouldn't GAF. But l don't, because who cares, you know?

But yeah. l will say no more, l sometimes forget that this is a support forum first and foremost and also a place for younger people who have to experience these things before they understand the end result of them.

 

Regarding labels, I think those labels are most commonly attributed to the inclination of who you're open or the prosperity of who you might be having sex with, because let's face it, most people won't be bothered to understand the complications of sexuality and they just want to know who you're opened to. In most people's mind, if you identify as a lesbian and have sex with men while even enjoying it from the mechanical level like they're stimulating objects while you are not attracted to them, you're straight, period, you cannot be a lesbian according to the average laymen's mindset. There are Kinsey studies and other sexuality researches which challenges the average laymen's conceptualizations of sexuality as it has been shown that there could be disassociated sexual arousal, different conceptualizations of sexual attraction, semantic issues of sexual orientation, several different reasons one could have consensual sex without the sexual attraction involved, and so on... There is no way to test one's sexual orientation and there isn't anyway to prove one don't have that sexual orientation.

As for my opinion regarding labels, while I am opposed to using sexual orientation labels, I do not care for what you identify as and I'll accept you as you are even if you do have questionable behaviors which leads to some people asking you if you're really X. If you identify as straight and enjoy having sex with the same sex, I'm not going to bother challenging your identity because I cannot prove you wrong and asides we already have more than enough evidence to suggest that there are scenarios where these labels just don't work while there are so many issues regarding sexuality.

 

wow.... i find so many of the replies to this thread disappointing to me personally. what a way to show someone how open and accepting the people of EC are.

to the OP, i know exactly how you feel, but nevertheless i am sorry to see you go. i'm so used to rolling my eyes and moving on when it comes to the ignorant/uninformed opinions of others that i'm not so bothered by it as you seem to be. if i do get really bothered i take up an argument with whoever annoyed me. *shrugs* but i agree, it does suck that anyone has to put up with crap like that even on EC. but as BudderEC said, people here are only human. i happen to not think too highly of humanity.