the ambiguity of "girlfriend"

Not so much because it's mostly women over 60 IME.

lol. There have been a few times like that l still wonder, l mean l don't know that a woman over 60 doesn't have an actual girlfriend.

Depends on who it is though, if it's someone that l am aware is very heterosexual, l just assume.

A younger person or someone l'm not sure about, l might say "oh, how long have you been together?" and they could either laugh and say 'WHAT OMG NO! l am not a lesbian!" in which case you can just act like you were kidding.

Or they might say "2 years."

 

LOL I think the same thing too. My sister refers to her female friends as "girlfriends" and all I'm thinking of is like.. "wait, what." I mean, you don't see straight guys referring to their male friends as "boyfriends" .....

I'm in the same boat. I just have to get used to it as a term for friendship for most (straight) people.

 

If she is a friend and a girl/woman what else would you call her. I use the term girlfriend in a non lesbian way. You could use lady friend and sound like you are 105. She could have just said friend. I just would not another way to say I have a friend who is a girl living there. I am not really fond of the word girl for someone who is over 18. They are women.

 

It weirds me out too.

 

I never really think twice about it... then again I like vague terms offline. I chat to acquaintances, colleagues, familiar strangers, people.

Specifics are need to know basis, works perfectly well.

 

Yes there is an equivalent it is boyfriend. Males tend not to say that as it is more generic. He is the generic if we do not know. That is linguistic bullshit though. It is like five women are in a group and a males and someone will say hey guys. I am more uncomfortable with that then the girlfriend. I would not call them that but it doesn't bother me to hear it. I know who is a lesbian and who is not. We need not know the gender at all and friends works best.
There are a lot of terms I dislike. I hate being called a girl. I am a woman. I have not been a girl since I was 18. If you called a male who is 25 a boy it would be an insult. I am insulted in the same way about the word girl and we all should be.
The use of Miss and Mrs and just the Mr. I disliked that as well. It designates ownership. LOL I am Ms and woman. Our language is designed to accommodate the male. There are many language usages far worse than girlfriend. Though girlfriend sucks. The woman I live with is my partner. The woman I am out with is my date.

 

I've always thought it was interesting that in modern society, women can speak of their close friends as "girlfriends," without any lesbian connotations, but if a man says anything about a boyfriend, it's gay. There is a double standard to it.

As far as using "girlfriend" and "boyfriend" in the romantic sense, I think the terms are rather meaningless. "Girlfriend" is a compound word that should logically mean "friend that is female." Shouldn't we be able to say that all of our female friends are girlfriends, and use some other term for friends that we are romantically involved with?

 

It annoys me. I have heard women my age using "girlfriend" for their friends. It's confusing. If anything I call my friends "my female friend."

 

Actually, if you want them to stop using it, the best way would be to just make it obvious that you thought they meant a romantic partner every time. Since they won't want people to make that mistake, they will stop using it.

 

I avoid the word guys. I try to dance around any generic term for women that indicates the male. I get fussy. All the language seems to make women lass and subservient. We in the old world were no more than property. I will trade you my daughter for those two goats. My son will marry your daughter and we will give you two mules. So we were owned. I look toward the way women are treated in some nations. It is far more than language. Even after the women's lib movement we do not get equal pay. So girlfriends will probably stand. My Great Aunt with whom I lived called her partner he lady friend. (*hug*)

 

I also think "partner" implies more seriousness than "girlfriend," when used to refer to a specific person.

I'm pretty sure the implication behind the usage of "girlfriend," and also "boyfriend," was originally that a same-sex friend would automatically be platonic, and an opposite-sex "friend" would be automatically be presumed a romantic interest. It often was considered improper to have opposite-sex friends.

Straight people still often don't like it when their partners have opposite-sex friends.

 

But that seems to imply that you aren't in any kind of relationship with someone unless you live together. A "date" is just a few hours long. Someone who is my "date" is very likely someone I just met. One can be in a significant relationship and not have moved in together. And again, I think "partner" implies seriousness, and having nothing in between "date" and "partner" doesn't leave any room for a relationship that is still more casual or just beginning. In gay and lesbian relationships, "partner" is often considered the most serious designation. "Date," on the other hand, to me implies, "we are still seeing other people." How can there be nothing in between those two things?

What do you call a woman you've been seeing exclusively for a while, but you haven't moved in together?

I would probably use "girlfriend," simply because it's the word people use for that. I'd also be okay with sweetheart, or something like that, if the other person preferred it, but it does come off as kind of saccharine and old-fashioned.

Straight people have a lot of different relationship designations for different degrees of seriousness. It usually goes something like this:

Date: "The person I am with for the evening, to whom I am not otherwise committed in any way. (A person who is my date is not otherwise in a relationship with me, our commitment is limited to the particular outing.)"

Girlfriend/boyfriend: "The person I am seeing exclusively."

(Partner: Straight people, and even more commonly bisexuals in heterosexual relationships, have started using this to mean, "The person I am seriously committed to, and probably live with, but whom I am not married to." This is a recent development, because it is only recent that living together and not being married is socially acceptable.)

Fiancee (forgive me not bothering with accent marks): The person I am planning to marry.

Wife/husband: the person I am married to.



Since same-sex relationships are just as complex and nuanced as straight relationships, it doesn't seem right to limit the terms describing the relationship so severely. There is definitely a period in relationships where I would be offended to just be referred to as a "date," but kind of shocked to be referred to as a "partner."

 

Most of my friends over the years have been straight women. Quite often I have been called girlfriend by them and it never bothered me. Usuailly something like "Girlfriend please!" or "Girlfriend, what were you thinking!". I have always been accepted as one of the girls by my friends. June

 

You selected one phrase from all my posts. How odd. I say so much more. The sentence follows much more. I even discuss the language preferring the male and making the female subservient to him. Miss, Mrs. Mr. Language is complex and when you discuss dating terms for same sex couples you can make it as complicated as you want.
The sentence prior to the one you selected reads:

I am not opposed to the word girlfriend which I do say sucks. The reason I say this is because two women can call each other girlfriends. It actually only says they are women who are friends. It is asinine because they are women and no longer girls. So better would be this is my womanfriend. If two men who are friends said this is my boyfriend John or Phil is my boyfriend it is immediately seen as a gay relationship. This is true. Isn’t that so? to the bolded statementIf you think that girlfriend indicates a same sex relationship between the two women you will be disappointed more often than not. Girlfriends can be casual friends. It can be longtime friends. They can be lovers. A lot of girls/women say hey girlfriend to any girl who is there friend. Do you think they are madly in love and sleeping with each other? Lover is a far better word than girlfriend. You can be out with your friend and say this is my girlfriend Gina, which can mean anything. This is my date Gina which means a whole lot more. There are many words better than date. Girlfriend which you indicate as good is probably the least effective. It is a generic (as I have pointed out in several examples) that can mean any girl who is my friend.
You ask what I call a woman I have been seeing awhile and am not living with. I say, “This is Gina.” Why do I need to make any reference to the depth of the relationship unless you see this as some sort of status symbol? If I want to add more I can, by speaking about the relationship. We have been seeing each other eight months. This shows exactly how serious we are. Does girlfriend say that? I can say this is Gina we have been seeing each other for some time or eight months. That too is better than the feeble girlfriend. I can say date which like girlfriend doesn’t say much at least to me. Why do you need a word that states something in between date and partner or significant other? You state that in a proud phrase. I don't feel the need for a middle ground word. I make it a statement.

I have explained this and the term date or partner, are enough as words. They are far better than the meaningless girlfriend which is wrong for any female over the age of eighteen. (I select eighteen as the societal way of stating we have reached maturity and can make our own decisions) If you understand language and want to say something about a relationship say it. But a middle ground word isn’t necessary. It is far more beneficial to make a statement if you decide you want this. I have been dating Gina here for eight months. That says it all.

 

I find it super confusing! Like someone from work told me that her girlfriend was living with her and it tuened out to be her friend. I like to think that everyones gay too!

 

:eusa_clap
I hate the fact that women have to show their sexual availability with a title. Men don't get that. Men are just "Mr".

 

I fully support all women just adopting "Ms". Anything else is archaic.

This right here, I like this.