Ok so I don't have a good relationship with my grandfather anyways he and his girlfriend came over earlier before the Super Bowl started and anyways his girlfriend asked MY. Brother if I was a "homo" what a bitch a stupid FUCKING home wrecker is what she is she was having an affair with my grand father while he was with y grand mother she is 30 he is 76 I the her so much!!! I told her to get out of my house I told my grandfather I don't like him and I don't want to patch things up. I FUCKING hate my family. I'm just mad that she went and starts drama with my brother instead if asking me. She asks him to ask me? What are you 12 little bitch! Sorry for my language I'm just so PISSED off I want to smash thing I hate her!
Sorry, this comes off as a very childish temper tantrum, when I read it. First off, why do you care so much? If I had a poor relationship with my grandfather, and he had a girlfriend, her opinion of me would not mean very much one way or the other. Second, so what if she asked your brother? Was she rude to you directly? Was she being rude at all? Perhaps she just wanted to know if you were gay. You did not provide enough info for us to know what happened.
No she's always rude to me see a gold digging whore YES who're des dating my grandfather and pregnant with another guys kid and my grad father is staying with her. Because if her my grand mother tried to kill herself because he cheated on her with this whore. I may not always like my grandmother but I will Always love her more than him. I don't look at my grandfather highly before he was dating this "woman" and now I hate him more she talks crap about my parents and me and my brother she starts fights I've had enough of her. I've put up with stuff from her for a long time but I'm so done. She yells at my grandmother and calls her names so I'm mad that she starts up issues by asking my brother to ask me if I'm gay? Really? Why don't you ask me yourself she did it on purpose to get everyone Involved like usual.
All of this goes right back to my first point. Why do you care so much? Life is far too short to waste your time being pissed off at stupid **** that doesn't matter. I come from an extremely dysfunctional family, and I have to just sit back and laugh sometimes as everyone bickers and flips out over pointless things. You don't need any drama in your life from people that you don't even like.
Alexander, I've said this before, I'll say it again, perhaps in a little stronger language this time. Every member of your family, other than you, appears to be fucked up beyond repair. The sooner you come to understand and accept that... the sooner you can work on separating yourself from them and working on all of the emotional and psychological baggage that's been dumped onto you by their selfishness, narcissism, and various psychological pathologies. Who gives a crap if your grandad's 30 year old gold digger knows if you're a poof? Who gives a crap if *anyone* in your family knows? They all do, anyway, from things you've said. So screw 'em. You are who you are, and they're just a bunch of shallow, miserable, contemptible assholes. Put your energy into finding new, healthier people and create the family you want. That's what's going to be important going forward.
Read this, Alexander, at least 10 times. And the next time any of your family upset you to this point, read it 10 times more. My grandma is an alcoholic. So what? It`s not my flaw, not my issue, not my problem. She has made a whole lot of mistakes in the past, she is rude, obnoxious, and not my problem because I don`t have to see her, and when I do see her, I can IGNORE HER. F*** them. What I am wondering is why is it you still give a damned?
Lol, wanna talk about homophobic family members? The last time my mom saw two men holding hands at the beach, I got yelled at for three whole days when I would not agree that it was a disgustingly sinful display. You have to learn to let things go.
Because I've grown up with and around my family and I want their approval I don't know how to explain this but I feel like they need to approve of me in order fr me to be happy... If that makes any sense at all? That's why when this bitch comes in and starts trying to cause issues KNOWING my family is religious and homophobic It makes me mad as hell because if she wanted to know she could have asked ME but she asks other members of my family to ask me? Like how childish that's what makes me mad and it makes me more mad because this is the same woman who broke my grandparents appart and drive my grand mother nuts. So yes I hate her and anything he says about me is a bigger deal then it should be because I KNOW for afact she is only asking to start up drama in my family like she always does and my family always falls for it. Not to mention my brother always calls me fag, queer, cock sucker, faggot, homo, fruit, butt fucker anything he can come up with to hurt me because he pretty much knows but he told me "if You are gay you will never see your nephews or niece's" that's what he told me today so I'm more then a little sad still like that killed me inside. And how can I not care what my family think? You know when you have no one else your "family" is always there for you...... I don't have that I don't have many friends I'm pretty much alone in this world so the people I have in it matter to me
I understand that, I do, but truth is, sometimes it is better to be alone for a while, and make attempts to get new friends and people to know and hang around with, than keep poisonous people close to you for an extended period. Especially since you have expressed a need and a wish to change in certain areas, you really shouldn`t keep negative influences so close to your heart. And also, I think you misunderstand me a bit when I say that you should push them away. I don`t mean that you have to put miles between you and all your family, but more an emotional distance. You can chat with them, and do yours to contribute to a healthy environment, but not let their flaws, faults and bad habits/attitude influence you emotionally. An emotional distance can be very healthy. Someone can only sabotage as much as we let them, and by paying any kind of regard or have any kind of emotional response to what this woman is doing, you are allowing her to sabotage how you feel. I get that it is hard, I do, and I would not be advicing anyone to do something, if I didn`t understand anything about it. For example my grandmother. If I actually cared about all her negative comments and thoughts, I would get pretty depressed and pissed off whenever I was near her as well. As it is, I simply do not give a damn anymore about anything that woman says, think. I cannot choose her away as a part of the family, but I can certainly can ignore her insults. But it can take time to work up an emotional distance. As far as your brother goes, he sound like an a**-wipe. I would roll my eyes and go whatever, if he was ranting off like that at me. It is not that I would not care about him, but I do not have the time or energy for negativity. So, I just do not care about that kind of opinions. If you could manage to try to do somewhat the same thing, it would save you so much wasted time on frustration and anger. Being angry does not help, it only cost calories. He can still be your brother, and you can still grow to enjoy each others company, if you just leave the room every once in a while when he is being a little ****. (*hug*) It is simply my opinion, but family is so and so. Sometimes it can be great, sometimes it can be a disaster. We cannot choose who we are related to, but we can choose how to relate to them, and how close we keep them physically and emotionally. If your leg is infected and is threathening your life (metaphor for mental well-being), you cut the darn thing off. One way or the other, because your mental health is important. It is not going to do your family any good, if you continue letting their flaws and BS determine how you feel about life or yourself. (*hug*)
Thank you(*hug*) I get why you are saying and you are right I shouldn't take it in to anger all the time it's just hard but I will take this and try what you are saying its very logical lol but everything is easier said then done but I will try thank you
I know it`s not easy, lol, I`ve been in the process myself. It takes time and effort, but you can get there. However, it kind of has to start with a "How long am I going to continue letting these people affect me like this?" You have to start somewhere. And become a bit aware over how the mind works, so that you can stop yourself from getting angry before it boils over. I have all faith in you!
