Hey all, As I have remarked in many other posts, I am not a fan of the gay scene (i.e.: clubbing, bars, etc) besides going out for fun and with friends -- but I am looking for someone for a quality relationship and those are not cutting it for me. So, I decided to shell out the money and create an account on Match. I looked at e Harmony's "LGBT-friendly" offshoot ("Compatible Partners") but after reading about their affiliations with anti-gay organizations and the creator openly against same-sex couples, I opted out of that option right away! I noticed a lot of gay dating sites are geared towards hook-ups, which is no better than going to bars and clubs to meet someone special, so I looked around and heard Match is the most reputable, longest standing, and gay-friendly. Hoping to meet some nice people, but I know its just another tool. The possibility, if even just meeting some interesting and mutual people as friends, is exciting and worth the money I spent I think.
I've always been a fan of face-to-face relationships, but I'm sure online dating will work well, too. I'm sorry I don't have any other advice. I've never been in a relationship. T_T
Did you already pay for the account? There's a free dating site out there that I know a bunch of us are on that's quite good, unless you really want to do a paid site.
I've tried online dating to no avail. However, it probably has something to do with the people. You're totally right though, most, if not all the ones I've encountered are geared towards to occasional hookups. I'd love to know which site that is Rakkaus!
I did already purchase a 6-month account at Match, however I would still be interested in hearing a decent site. I am certainly all about in-person contact and conversations which would be my form of communication outside of online discovery, casual chat, and plans for a physical date.
I never even considered online dating just because you never really know who is on the other end. But Match sounds promising. So I hope you update us on how it goes.
Eh, nothing is perfect. I guess it is just a better outlet to me than the typical club or bar and most sexual/hookup focused websites for gays. It's a shame to me!
I would love to see how it goes. I signed up for the free account on match, just to get an idea of what's out there. Frankly, it seems just as blehhhhh as the prospects in my area. I'm not sure if it's because they are going off my age, but most of the emails include profiles that are just completely outside of what I'm looking for.
I did match when I first came out searching for the same thing and I dunno it just didn't really grab me. I am relatively introverted so starting fluid conversations with a total stranger within the context that I'm here to possibly date you...it just seems so forced to me. But it clearly works for a lot of people, otherwise I'd doubt they'd be as popular as they are.
I agree. I think it works really well for people who have nothing to lose. Not that there's no problems for straight people -- there's always a risk. But, personally, there's so many factors involved in online dating. It does mimic what we go through in real life as well.
That's how I met my partner. We messaged back and forth for maybe a week and a half or two weeks before meeting in person. We will be together a year as of next month and plan to be together, well, forever. I tried some free sites before that, with very little luck. On the free sites, most of what I got were people with no ability to carry on a conversation (seriously, if you are going to contact me first, please at least put enough effort in to write more than one word), people with major issues that I was not up for dealing with, people looking for threesomes, etc.
IDK I'm kind of put off on online dating because I have this weird notion that It's kind of sad that I have to use the internet to meet guys therefore it gives me the feeling that I'm unable to meet guys in person. It could just be me wanting to find someone without the help of some dating website so I can feel it to be more real instead of "fixed" :/
I am having the same problem. I do not know any other lesbian woman. The only place I can think of to try and meet some is online. I have had no luck so far with online dating. I checked Craigslist. I saw some adds that looked promising. Maybe you should try this route. I have not met anyone in person but, I have not been doing it long either. Good luck!
For the love of God don't use Craig's List that is extremely dangerous! I'd try social networking online or applications to phone chat rooms before doing that. I'd also Google the LGBTQ civic groups especially in cities like Portland, Oregon should definitely have something akin to it there unlik here in Alabama. Thre are definitely more ways to play it safe than randomly meeting anybody on any specific tools. Just be safe out here cause there are crazy people.
@redstormrising: I am glad to hear it worked out well for you and yours! I wish you two the best, forever.
The reason that most people using online dating sites are looking for hookups is that it's an easy way to casually meet someone, size them up like cattle and decide whether you want them. This is compounded by the fact people feel like they can be much more "forward" through the internet, as they don't have to face rejection (they can just ignore it). Finally, I think the main thing is that the best relationships grow from existing relationships. The main downside to jumping into dating someone (i.e getting to know them by dating romantically) is that you're trying to build a relationship without knowing if you're right for each other. That's why I always try and get to know my dates as friend first (not like BFFs for years, but just hanging out platonically for a little while, learning each others interests). There's a lot of pressure during dating to perform; and if you're not sure whether the person is similar to you, you often feel pressured to hide parts of yourself and amplify others. That ultimately leads to a failed relationship down the road. I'm not against online dating, and I'm sure plenty of users really are looking for relationships, but if I were to use it, I'd want to make it clear things would just be platonic at first. I'm not the type to play hard to get, we're not talking platonic for months; just until we know more about each other.
@4AllEternity: You remind me so much of myself! I agree on all points, I guess I just signed up because while I am not a fan of the bars and club scene, I do want to meet others. I am currently looking to get involved to create the community I would like to have that does not yet exist (to my knowledge) and foster a place for LGBTQ to come and meet one another, make friends, etc. You speak with much clarity and are wise for your years!
I knew my boyfriend through online dating, from where I live it is the best way, it depends on what you want and how you present yourself, if you are clear about what you are looking for then i think you will find people with same interest (a relationship or just a hookup)
I've used The M site successfully in my hetero life. Had a great LTR with a woman. Also doing the free trial thing. I'll tell you , in my area there are lots of gay men signed up! First photo didn't get much response. 2nd photo ( no nudity, really!). Is more casual, and I'm getting a bunch of likes. I think it'll be fun to start emailing with some guys. Then see whose worth meeting. Good luck to all of us!
